Just don't know what to do?

So with my husband back in the hospital and slowly deteriorating but still alive and on Comfort measures not being treated for ANYTHING. His feet are turning a black what is that...and is getting Ascites and has rashes all over. The nurse mentioned they might put him in a care home again and it breaks my heart. He cried when I see him saying he wants to come home but at home he gets sick and does things that aren't normal. He smokes and has burnt out couch, clothes cig marks on the floor etc. He can get aggressive to the point of violence. Do I bring him home? I'm speechless and need advice. I just don't know?

[Graham27]

I truly regret the horrible circumstances you find yourself in. I was fortunate enough to get a transplant however I do appreciate the situation your husband finds himself in, difficult to put into words how he must be feeling. However you must be honest with yourself and acknowledge he is in the best place for him and to be honest you. Be strong and take comfort that there will be many on this forum who will deeply sympathise with what you are going through.

[Hidden]

I know it's an awful situation for you both but he really is in the best place for both of you. The blacking toes are probably due to gangrene. His condition is now causing the cutting off of blood supply causing the tissue to die. They may suggest amputation of the affected toes if they feel it would be of any benefit to him but at this stage I would think it unlikely.

I'm so sorry. I wish I could say something to take your obvious pain away unfortunately you just have to ride the storm and go with all the advice the medical team give you.

My thoughts are with you both at this terribly difficult time.

Love and hugs. Laura xx

[Kingsleybones in reply to Hidden]

The main thing is that you are there for him where he is now. It is a terrible time for you but being there and holding his hand, when you can manage it, is perhaps the most important thing now, whether he is in a care home or in hospital. The time you have together now, painful as it may be, is important to you both. My heart goes out to you. Lots of love and light. Mary

[Hidden in reply to Kingsleybones]

That's absolutely true Mary. I was with mine holding his hand all day until he took his last breath. Was incredibly tough to do but I'm glad I was with him til the very end. X

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

was your spouse in a Home care?

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

No he was with me then 2 years at his mum's with weekend stays with my kids and myself once he was off the booze till he was in ICU