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British Liver Trust
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I need help I don't know what to do

My partner has a drink problem and also really bad OCD his drink has been under control for quite some time .

But in his parents have both died within 10 days of each other he was doing ok until the funeral as they were cremated together. Then on Tuesday he looked unwell and since then I am struggling to get him to eat . He's not had a drink since last Tuesday.

I can't lose him as well .

We are getting Married in 9 days I asked him if we should cancel everything and he said no

His dad died of cirrhosis of the liver I am terrified.

5 Replies

Hello Sharon.

I speak as someone who had a long spell in hospital through drink and has cirrhosis. Can I ask, you say he has his drinking under control, what does this mean and how long for and how much was he drinking before he had it under control?

I have to ask, as someone who loved his drink, what makes you think he hasn't had a drink? Because generally when people don't have a hunger, it is because they are getting their calories through alcohol.

Sorry if I come across as blunt, it is not meant to sound like that, I am just trying to get to the nub of the issue/problem.

1 like

Hi Sharon

My husband is a recovering alcoholic and I'm afraid I have to agree with your last reply. Just because your fiancé is telling you his drinking is under control doesn't mean it is. I used to find hidden drink all over the house, in bins outside and even in the hedge.

One Christmas when it was obvious he'd been drinking as he too wasn't eating and was sleeping a lot, I warned him not to spoil my day as my daughter was coming. So to make sure he could behave, he basically stayed in bed most of the time.

My husband went worse after his parents died and ended up with cirrhosis. He gave up drinking 4 years ago, but he had to make that decision. I wish I could tell you that because he loves you and you're getting married, he will stop drinking for you, but I know from experience that he won't. He's ill and an addict and he needs to decide himself to give up.

It's not easy living with an alcoholic and although I love my husband I would not wish anyone to go through the pain and stress that I and many other partners/wives go through.

Only you can make the decision about the wedding. Are you sure he will be up to it? I couldn't always tell if my husband had been drinking (probably because I didn't want to believe it), ask your friends and family whether they believe your boyfriend.

I hope for both your sakes he comes to his senses and stops drinking before he kills himself. Look after yourself though because you will be ill if you don't.

Sending lots of love and strength xxx


Thank you

3 years ago he was on 2 bottles of Barcadi a day.

Since last Tuesday he hasn't had one drop of Barcadi he has been in bed since then .

We have been together for 26 years and I am not going to lie it is heartbreaking .

I have just watched his dad die of cirrhosis and I know I am going to go through it again at some point.

I also think he has Anxiety really bad .

1 like

So, he has been in bed and not eaten for a week? That is not a good sign.

I think its time you consider taking him to A&E.

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The problem here is alcohol exacerbates anxiety, on a rational level I've always known alcohol would and does make everything worse but nevertheless I drank at crisis points only but enough to put me in hospital with hepatitis... rest of the time I literally don't give it a thought.. I have noticed that over the last few months with anxiety and stress levels high I lose my appetite too so it isn't always because of alcohol.. not for me anyway x


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