Have I gone completely mad

[Faithfull]

When a/e ongoing worsening pain bloating pain feeling full canny pu a bra o as it torcher itching more nausea worstening confused I believed it was January aggressive all the sympoms when so I'll on drink as dependent-

Blood is fine abdominal and pelvic ct scan with contrast dye went in arm done it in other one; that was Monday told tody

A/E told me that I could not show him a letter from another county and that the incidental finding was not cirrhosis.

I showed him an update near letter from hospital that I was in and it said Meningomia in head incidental and that I needed thiamine vitamin strong b compound a physiatrist asap for PTSD and that I have micro nodular cirrhosis as of my very abused drinking and I neede to see hemptoligist and also manage ment of my chronic liver desease.

A\E said that all tests fine and ain't I happy but you can have that diagnosis if I want .

I then went like a lunatic of you read 3letters different Drs same diagnosis I was embarristed that in front of all I am lying and I could not explained I'm so I'll with many overlapping things and I cannot explain the confused as f . Why did they diagnosis me that and the feeling you all no fear then being told I do not have it I'm sorry he read that letter he never new it was that hospital I am question my sanity it looks like I have been playing on people's sympathy please let him be right it's gone but I'm gomnna get in rouble saying your all mad putting people down jet I lost the plot I'm really bad please why what going on they would not let me see mental health as I'm still in system of refferalls .

Lost phone in cab just to finish the day asks alchol and drug based in hospital said I'm doing well don't need them no I live in isolated hell is it true it's gone I have no cirrhosis can I be allowed to think the dr is talking shit I want to be free from this and even so I will never drink again please why they doing this to me . Have they made mistake I'm not lying I feel this is inhuman mind f

[AyrshireK]

This all sound very ridiculous faithfull - not you, the fact that you have been told three different things from three different doctors / health teams. Someone needs to accompany you to an appointment with a GP (an extended appointment not a 5 minute and out the door job) and you need to be able to discuss what on earth is going on. With your already fragile state of mental health it is totally unfair to leave you in pain and in confusion with different people saying different things.

Is there an agency near you who offers advocacy services, people with autism/aspergers and other such conditions can tap into this type of resource and they are set up to support you with this sort of thing. You should not be going along alone and struggling with all this information. You need a list of questions on paper and demand gently but firmly that they all get answered. Local citizen's advice should be able to point you in the direction of such a service or an online search for your local area might show up one.

So sorry that you are going through all this and struggling with it alone without social work, mental health and all the supports that are needed.

God bless you faithfull.

Katie xx

[Faithfull in reply to AyrshireK]

Believe me I have done every single day is calling waiting for them lettrer upon letters of sorry I don't fit as to fit you have to be under one or other mental health or social worker apparently I am now two yrs on but only for them to refer me again to anything and knowing its complex there wasting more money coming out crisis line I'm to scared to call as they say what do u want us to do basically I told them I'm so confused as in never did I want to do what I done as people inter a/e did not need me screaming why why I thought had gone completely mad and the things I've said on here is true I feel so ill that everyone's helping me that was my first thought ,and then I don't deserve this not After many traumas to be told do you want the diagnosis you can have it if you want like I'm fake I'll I swear I been so I'll In the last four yrs I cannot believe the dr thought I was a sicko

I no I'm confused minor all the time and I get delayed reaction . Today I sleep all day got up really happy till I remember yesterday and why I put phone lost omg I really don't care .

books

[Faithfull in reply to AyrshireK]

Thanks for all your help and without you and all I'm not so alone believe me this is my lifeline , trust beautiful people that are suffering themselfs in whatever way,take the time to help each other . Thankyou

[Hidden]

Dear Faithfull,

Katie has already answered your post brilliantly.

We are so sorry that you have so much to deal with.

It may be a good idea to try to think about asking for an extended appointment with your GP to discuss all your many concerns.

Very best wishes,

BLT Admin

[Faithfull]

Sorry the diagnosis get worse each time .they don't contradict each other . I been doing all I can to prolong whatever I got eating drinking water don't wear perfume in case there's alchol in it alchol was my friend my company ,

Turned out it was the enemy not just the illness the behaviour the loss of all and everything .

Whatever the case is if I was thinking that I don't have any cirrhosis and mentally my head may have thought oh I'm mad so it's all in me head so I go get a bottle of vodka celerbrate nothing wrong with me ;

NO I DID NOT DO THAT AND PRAY TO GOD THAT IF IT EVER HAPPENS TO SOMEONE SO PHYCICALL AND MENALTALY ILL THAT THEY END UP well who knows but we all trust in them when we ain't holding it down I put this as I dot want anyone ending up doing this because the system here is shit.

Sorry about that it was not aimed at u at all I just put it so no one else suffers more in this confusion.

[GrannyDoll61]

What you need is a big group hug🙋

[Faithfull in reply to GrannyDoll61]

thatwas lovely

[L444]

Your message is difficult to follow but sounds as if your very upset sounds like the person below has very good advice

[19581979]

Hi faithful has the social worker done anything yet. Has she put you in touch with anyone.

Gx

[Faithfull]

NO nor has mental health I'm really in astate of I feel me hands tied I done everything me posts getting more confusing thanks 4 still being there for me I'm gonna try pull myself together get the stages of diagnosis that I have from hospitals over the 3 yrs yes there worse but I'm driven to insanity understood eventally last one found it overwhelming that I made myself this way come to terms that I got it relationship finished as of illness which basically done me favour.but all the shit in a/e even drug alchol women said oh u stopped don't need us really I said I need all the help I can get but I'm used to it falling threw system I am so sorry I hope u don't mind but I feel I can talk to you thankyou

[Hidden in reply to Faithfull]

Hi

Sorry, not been on but have felt terrible. How are you now? Xxxx

[Faithfull in reply to Hidden]

Same here been ill mentally , sorry that you ain't been well thankyou for asking me as well .

Sometimes I get so tired and it's weird I'm scared to go on Internet then I'm writing novels , I don't no if I been moaning to much .

But what I do no is I appreciate all.x

[Hidden in reply to Faithfull]

You aren't moaning, you've got to let off steam and we are all here for you. Please take care. Lots if love Lynne xxxx