Nash?

Hi I just need some support right now I will start by briefly going over my life.... As a teenager I drank alcohol very heavily and occasionally smoked weed pregnant at 19 and by 22 years old had a beautiful son and daughter alcohol intake had gone down by 24years old I was taking heroin lost everything in my life at the age of 25 coz I went on to injecting by the age of 28 I was clean I went to rehab to come off methadone and I am so proud to say at the age of 35 I am still clean.... Age 29 I was put on lithium after a couple of years I was put on quetiapine and olanzapine but ended up just taking quetiapine which I have been on for about four years very high dose of 800mg. (which I should never have been on) sleeping pills and diazepam in 2015 I met my now husband and fell pregnant I desperately wanted reduce my medication which to cut a long story short at the time of my sons birth I was taking 575mg a night totally off diazepam and sleeping pills which I thought I done fantastic I was so proud of myself....after the birth of my son I quickly began to feel unwell I had chronic backache and I had a sharp pain in my ribs (right side) I ignored this as I hoped it would go away it eased weeks later but within a few months of having my sin I gained just over 3 stone in weight I kept seeing the doctor time and time again was told I was just fat 6 months after having my son the doctor decided to do routine bloods which showed Alt raised April 2017 I have ultra sound which showed fatty liver August this year had fibroscan which was median 10kpa indicating fibrosis the consultant spoke about a biopsy which I refused as something is telling me not to have it I am due to have another fibroscan in February 2018 I was told I have fibrosis consultant also said I need to stop my medication which I am reducing slowly as I am not able to just stop it all in one go I am currently on 200mg and I aim to be completely drug free by the time I have my second fibroscan I am so frustrated as I just don't want to damage my liver anymore than I have I have looked online for a cure or medication that can help but there is none the consultant said I have metabolic syndrome I know also that my tubes To my kidneys are narrowing and that my urine has protein it feels everything is going wrong and the list just gets longer and longer I have days where I feel really ill and days where I feel quite good since 2015 I have on and off felt sick abd been sick chronic backache tiredness and general feeling of urgh!!! Just recently I've on and off had pain lower ribs again I just pray it's not a bad sign I am frantic as I just don't know what to do? I've read so much and non of it very promising... I know I probably deserve this as I have abused my body in the past but I am not the same person I was and since getting clean and living a safe and happy life this happens...Any advice would be greatly appreciated thank you for reading

[Kristian]

Wowsers, what a history. First of all don't be ashamed of the mistakes you have made in the past. You should actually be proud of what you have achieved by stopping all that.

Medications can affect many things in the body. Whether the ones you have been taking are the cause of yours i have no idea. However, if your doctor is happy for you to come off them then i think that would be a positive step to take and its great that you have already gone quite a way to doing that.

I can't tell you what your future may hold. I also can't even think to contemplate what the outcomes of your tests will be and where that may eventually lead. The only way to deal with those is deal with them as they become clearer. I know it may be difficult, but try not to worry too much about what may happen, sometimes you just have to concentrate on the here and now and let the future take care of its self.