The end is in sight

I think the end is now in sight. OH had to have emergency surgery, which as not gone well, and they want to operate again tomorrow if he is well enough. He is very poorly indeed and if he does make it will be months in hospital. They are not sure why (something to do with ascites) but it cut off the blood supply to the bowel. He now has a stoma and they are struggling to control his nutrition intake as food is moving through the system too fast and nutrients aren't being absorbed. I have never seen anyone look this ill.

PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE if you are a drinker please try and give up..... I wouldn't wish this on anyone, but especially not the man I have loved for 35 years. GET HELP BEFORE IT IS TOO LATE.

I don't know how much more he or I can take. I can only pray if he doesn't make it the end will be quick and without pain. This is a cruel disease, as is addiction, and though I am hoping for some kind of miracle, I know in my heart it is unlikely.

29 Replies

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  • So very sorry to hear such sad news. In our thoughts.xx

  • I'm so sorry 😞 thinking about you both 🙏🏻 xx

  • My thoughts are with you both at this stressful time .. sending you all my best wishes .Xx

  • Just to say I'm thinking of you both, it must be so hard , take care. Lots of love Lynne xxxx

  • He has more surgery planned for tomorrow, he is very weak and confused. I do love him so, and we should have had years ahead of us yet, I feel so cheated :(

  • i really am sorry 😞 this is breaking my heart. All we can do is think & hope for the best outcome. Sending positive thoughts to both of you right now xx

  • Hi fizzix50, was just wondering how you both were? Have just read your last post.

    I can relate to how you are feeling but mine was with my dad with a different illness. Days and nights were hard and I really don't know how I found the strength of how my dad tried to keep than lovely smile and blue eyes as long as he did .I am sending love and strength to both of you. You are in my thoughts ☘x x

  • So sorry to read this, I don't post on here but I did when I lost my father earlier this year and you were kind enough to reply to me. I'm thinking about you xxx

  • Very sorry to hear this fizzi, thoughts with you both.

    Katie xxx

  • So sorry fizz. Thinking of you!

  • Thinking of you both

  • I will keep both of you in my prayers so sorry

  • Sorry sorry for you. I wish i could put my arms around you and tell you it will be alright, but i can't. My husband of 35 years at the time was in a similar postion , the first time i was in hospital was for 4 months and within that time , i was dying and they couldnt do anymore, they even discussed my organ donationwhen I died. I had some lucid moments and some terrifying times, i remember the first time I came out of hospital unable to walk and breathing fresh air for the first time in 4 months , I then spend 2 years on and off in hospital then after that a year in bed on sofa. Now 6 years on I am on 26 tablets a day and I am tube fed up to 10 hour a day and severe osteoporosis, had to give my job as a social worker, but I was given that second chance I love life and choose it over alcohol, go to the gym and in the final process of beig a magistrate. I am 60 in jan ,spend my life savings on psychotherapy,(no money left but it was the best investment I've ever made.) my future might be bleak but just taking one day at a time. I hope you and your husband get to spend more time with each other. Have you any family support, also i found the hospital socal worker was a great souce of help. I am here for you any time .sending healing vibes . Catrina x

  • My friend has a saying - if we all put our troubles on a table, then looked around, we would choose our own back. Having read your post, I would agree. My goodness you have been through so much - what a fighter you must be! And to still be wanting to give something back as a magistrate, what an inspiration you are.

  • Dear fizzi so sorry to hear this. I am sure the medics will do all they can for your OH. Hope you also are getting support as this must be unbearable for you. When we go through a bad patch I get out the photos and DVDs of the good times have a good weep then dust myself off. Thinking of you both. Hugs Gina xx

  • Sending love and prayers xxx

  • Personally I am a pagan, and thank you all so much for your prayers. There must be something in your God - he is still with us and is now lucid - all the delirium was down to infection. The docs have said he is on bonus time, so make the most of what time we have left. And that is just what I intend to do. He will need his vac-dressing changed under sedation every 3 days until it has healed, so we are in for a long haul before he can even think of coming home.

    All I can say is I thank to docs and nurses at the RUH for their miracle work, they are so dedicated one doc even came in on his day off to see how he was doing - I am so grateful for this extra time, however long or short it will be - and at least he is in a place where he won't be in any pain. He is back to insulting my cooking so I know he must be feeling better mentally!

  • Hi, as a fellow Pagan you will understand when I say I will place you both on healing circles I am in contact with.

    I can't say how much I hope your path levels out positively very soon. I think it is actually worse for the other half than the patient. I know I see the worry on my husband's face and hate knowing it's there through my health or lack of good health.

    Hard as it is remember the tenet that sometimes when it feels everything is falling apart it's actually falling into place. Sometimes

    Blessings

    Rita x

  • Thank you that is such a lovely sentiment.

  • that's great news.all the thoughts & prayers seem to have been answered. Hopefully it just gets better by the day now. Still sending healing thoughts x

  • God bless you and I pray for you both.

  • Thinking of you

  • My heart bleeds for you fizzi. I remember the feelings of despair all too well when I thought I might lose my husband. You were kind enough to comment on my posts at that time and I do hope that you have the love and support you need in real life as well as through all these messages and comments. Thinking of you both and wishing you all the best 💕

  • Have just heard from the hospital they want him to sign a consent form; he is jaundiced and his kidneys and liver are struggling; My heart is broken. I love him so much. I know he is addicted to alcohol, but he has been a good man and a good father and my life will be the poorer without him. I know despite everything he has always loved me, the flawed individual that I am. After 35 years together I can do nothing but celebrate the fact I have been loved, and we have produced a beautiful son together. I am so desolate, my life will be so much depleted by his presence in it.

  • Dear fizzix50

    There are no words I can say to you..

    I feel your pain and hear your sadness sweetheart .my prayers are being sent to all of you through this difficult time. I really hope for a miracle 🙏. Love Linda xx

  • I hope for a miracle daily, but I don't think that will happen. The doc said yesterday they will give him what he needs for the next few days, but then we would need to review. His bloods have deteriorated for the last two days so am not hopeful. What is so hard is trying to be cheerful on the outside when you are dying emotionally on the inside. Going in to see him in hospital and trying to be upbeat and cheerful is one of the hardest things I have ever had to do. Everyone says stay strong, but those are just words; being strong gets harder every day.

  • Hi fizz ,

    Sorry hun to hear the news, I can relate to how you feel in a similar way but not with a partner or to liver disease. It was my own dad whom I cared for for 16 months with cancer.i won't go in to the long long details but I know where your coming from with the cheerful part etc.. I remember being told my dad has bit weeks to live. I had to remove myself from the room and make an excuse while my sister sat with him in the Drs room

    I literally broke down and I mean literally .I too had to walk out of there to see my dad's smiling face because the Dr said he did not need to see him again so dad thought all was going to be fine.

    You do what you feel is right at the time. I won't tell you what and not what to do regarding how you feel .all I know is don't sit and think of what may be , spend as much time together as you can, just as I did , sometimes all through the night when he could not sleep I still was there sitting with him.

    My thoughts are with you fizz .💞take care hun x

  • I can almost feel your pain as I read this.

    I'm so sorry. I remember having to witness my beloved brother in law having to endure liver disease which was related to alcohol, it's equally as painful and traumatic to their loved ones too.

    Fizz don't keep feeling like you've got to be "strong" none of us would be able to do that, you are going through an intense emotional trauma, it's OK for you to cry, scream, shout and get angry, you should, and need to be able to let your emotions out.

    We're all with you.

    Sending you love and big hugs and thinking of you. 💜 xx

  • Hi. I'm so sorry to read your post. Been thinking of you. Sending you love, thoughts and prayers xx

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