The bad news

The bad news

I have fought extremely hard since 2004. Finally I found out results of ct scan of lungs 3 weeks ago. In two weeks from the first ct scan of lungs to the second of lungs the nodules went from 2 to now filling up my lungs. I figured that was why I was so suddenly exhausted in a way I never have been before. So everything is called off. I see Oncologist next week and the transplant doc told me there may be a chance of using chemo. As I thought, it's liver cancer now in my lungs. It's not lung cancer. The Oncologist will tell me how long I have to live with or without chemo. I will not be using chemo. I prefer to leave it all alone now and see if I might somehow live another year. I at least hope to cycle and swim again. My driver is taking me out for a ride in the sunshine and to look upon my beautiful island and the mighty pacific Did you know Hawaii has more water around it than any other landmass on the planet. So that's the news folks. I knew every word they would say as I knew when they stopped the mapping for y 90 for my one liver tumor they were so sure was encapsulated. So I can say none of it is a surprise but instead a relief to finally know for sure. It's a real plus I understand my body and believe what it is telling me. Aloha

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  • How do you do it? So much positivity. I hope get to cycle and swim again very soon! I can't even cycle. I did try but I used to hit the wall every time. I'm trying to teach my child who has special needs to learn to ride with stabilisers. Still a long way to go!

  • That's ok keep teaching your child. Falling over just makes you a better and braver rider once you get it. πŸ’•πŸ’•πŸ’•

  • Hi catfish , sorry not been on here for a good week maybe more due todoctors and day surgery at hospital . Still in pain but day at a time . So you don't have lung cancer ? But liver cancer in the lungs . My dad has lung cancer and they look away his let left lung , why won't you try Chemo Hun ? Of is it the let nature tajes its.course .. Whatever you decide I hope your around for a lot longer .. Best wishes Linda .. Aloah πŸ’•

  • Yes, i do hope you are around for a lot longer too, as has been said; it must be so awful getting those times when you havn't even been able to face going out in the sun due to your health; but i'm pleased you have at least to a large extent it seems, you have been able to enjoy the loveliness of the place in which you live; warm wishes sent your way xx

  • So sorry ❀ ........Maria x

  • Wishing the best for you.

  • What an amazing person you are. Not sure many would be so philosophical or have such a positive outlook in the circumstances . My thoughts are with you.πŸ’–

  • Thank you for that. It means more than you may know. Aloha

  • Hya catfish..sending you all the strength and hope from England.Maybe a re-think about Chemo? Your so positive all the time, now it s our turn to reach out to you. Pls don t be have worked so hard to be well. Thinking of you.Jenny xx

  • I understand almost all are into chemo but I have known so many to have it and die sooner and harder. Just because one must accept death does not imply one is defeated or has quit. Aloha

  • Thank you so much for this. I have read the same in many articles and I have had it happen many times to many friends and friends of friends. All died much more quickly. Chemo is far more successful for breast cancer not primary organ cancers. Again thanks for the UK article. Aloha

  • Wow ! What an interesting post Ralph2016. My dad , when he had his lung removed aged 78 , he could not have chemo due to his age , plus he was not fit ebony anyway , but unfortunately 8 months later he passed away to metastatic cancer of the brain , if I could turn back the clock and if I knew what I did now , I would have said no to surgery and let him live whatever time he had left enjoying what he did , not being in pain or constant pneumonia . It's quality of life I now Believe in not quantity . Best wishes Linda

  • Hicatfoshjmpin I totally understand why you don't want chemo n would never say you should , you've come to this decision n I respect that , I'm totally blown away by your words and admire you even more for your strength,god has a plan for all of us n reading between the line I believe you know yours .I was at a life choice just over 2 years ago n I don't know how but somehow I got through it ,o had liver failure n was given hours to live but somehow I'm still here ,your an inspiration to me n I give you all my love n strength for your future , enjpy your time n go bike riding thinking of you x

  • exactly. try and enjoy the time you have left. i know its must be frightening but your spirit will live on in a place much better than this. i do believe that. not only will your spirit live on but your memory of all the people you have helped and inspired will live on in this world. do not be afraid catfishjumpin you have faced things so much worse than death itself. i would apply those words to myself if it were me as i try never to advise someone anything i cant apply myself. you know my thoughts as we have discussed many things, god bless you and send an angel to guide you, all my love grace xoxo πŸ’ž

  • You are right catfish, it is ok not to be ok all the time.

    I cant blame you for not wanting to have the chemo, but you know it might help to have it, your body is a fighter its proven that ,why is it a fighter? because you make sure you dont go down without a fight, you sound defeated, dont let it beat you, let it know you are in control not the other way around.

    Hope you are around for a long time, love seeing your posts,such possitivity.



  • Thank you but its a strong instinct and most likely chemo will not be encouraged by the Oncologist" this comes from my Transplant doctor. Aloha

  • Sending you love xxxx

  • Do try the chemo...and if you find it intolerable then you can stop it. It might well be worth trying but Whatever your choice and it is a hard one, all the very best.

  • No chemo. I want to be stronger not weaker. Aloha

  • Hi Catfishjumpin, sending much love from me in England. Hope you can continue to stay strong and fight this fight your own way. I am sure you know your body and how to get the best out of your life. keep swimming and enjoying the sunshine for as long as you can. You are an inspirational woman, just keep positive in your fight, you have so many people behind you willing you on. xxx

  • Enjoy your drive Ms Daisey, your strength , your courage, your words , your beliefs are such an inspiration ✨✨✨✨✨✨

  • I am so sorry to learn your diagnosis, but so happy you finally have the answers. I hope you get back swimming soon - one of my favourite past times, I love the sea. I understand your want to not take the chemo route, I do have a friend that was Dx two years ago with secondary breast cancer, bone cancer and liver and now brain, she was given 6-9 months....she decided to juice her foods...she is still here and has had nodules on her liver and brain shrink, she has also no lump on her breast, she chose no chemo too. Maybe a thought?

    Lots of lovely luck to you xx

  • Yes indeed a great thought your friend. I will remember everything you said and suggested. Thank you.

  • She deserves a great big WOW! I am happy for her. I hope my luck runs in her direction. She is brave. Its amazing the pressure from anyone and everyone to do chemo.

  • The thing is, we all have our own right to live and die the way we want....the same right we have to chose what to do when we leave school, what t-shirt to put on for a day out...people love and care about you and will always have an opinion - they want you to live....its the cost of living that's the biggest question, so long as you make the decision that makes you happiest then that is really all there is too it.

    It is a sad decision to have to make - I hope you make your peace with the world and I hope you are rewarded with many many happy years xx

  • Sorry to hear your news. It IS ok not to be okay. Carry on living and doing what you love. Enjoy that beautiful island gorgeous place to be. Rain here still jealous :(. I'm proud of you!!


  • Thank you so much for your support. I will carry on as you say...sending sunshine...

  • I'm so sorry to hear your news. Such positivity is an inspiration to us all

  • πŸ™‚πŸ‘

  • So sad to hear that, keep fighting . Kick it's backside back to where it came from..

  • Catfishjumpin knowing is often the best thing for any of us, but I had hoped for a miracle for you. I hope you enjoy your ride in a beautiful part of the world. Gather your loved ones around you, sending hugs across the water xxx

  • You may get your miracle. Aloha

  • Lets hope so!

  • hoping for a miralcle for you. πŸ™

  • So sorry to hear this. You must do what is right for you, and enjoy each day and do what you can. Rest when needed. Sending strength hugs. X

  • So sorry to hear your bad news I know yor strong so my dear I hope you carry on doing what you do the best ride budda willing it will be a long time yet love bri xxxx

  • Yes, only we know our body the most, we know the changes,, we know what is real. Yes it is ok not Not be okay, I had breast Ca, and as I had trained for Ironman prior to the diagnosis, I was repeatedly told to be strong, be an Ironwoman, but there were many times that woman was no where to be found. I could not keep up the brave front, and I just wanted to be free to be sad, fearful, many times surrounded by well meaning people, but totally alone with my fears. Beautiful Hawaii, the smell, sound and the beautiful weightlessness freedom of floating in the cool waters...NZ shares the same Pacific Ocean, we too have gorgeous beaches....xxSoooze

  • Dear Catfish,

    Your consultant should go through all treatment options with you - could you ask to be seen sooner?

    Chemotherapy is only one type of treatment but there are other treatments they can consider.

    Keep positive and hoping your medical team have a robust plan in place for you.

    They definitely would be able to put all your notes together and get a clear picture of what option would be viable.


  • Hi catfish I haven't been here for a while . I just wanted you to know that I am thinking of you. You are such a wonderful person and a very inspiring person. Xx

  • Thank you. Be well. Aloha

  • Thinking about you and remembering how kind you were when offering to help my niece when she was In Hawaii. Sounds like you are in the best part of the world to end your days -Lauren said it was the most beautiful place she has ever been. X😘

  • Ah she is the age to have gotten so much from her experiences, I am really happy for her. Its a bit rainy and cool right now but soon the heat will return then I will be a bit stronger. Thank you for thinking of me. Brst to you and your husband. Aloha

  • Sorry for your news, I just got a similar diagnosis today 4 months to just under a year ...I meant to ask you last long did you have your liver tumour before all this hell? Do you know in what part of the liver it resides?

    Take care

  • As soon as I began treatment drugs, the tumor developed. 2014. It is on the right side of my liver. The bigger problem is that the liver cancer moved into my lungs and masticated. The lungs quickly developed masses of liver tumors. Thats shocking they gave you such a short term outlook. Remember, you may live twice as long. Tuesday I see an Oncologist and he is likely to give me a timeline. I will double istantly whatever he thinks. I take no medicine other than a tiny bit of beta blocker for my varcies. I do not take anything else. I eat very carefully. I can still exercise hours almost every week. I am fairly patient with all of this. Aloha

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