Hi there running friends...yes, it is me...
This is a needy post.
I need to ramble. I need to share with my friends. No apologies for that, because, as my post on Catch-Up Corner makes clear this week, that is what friends are for
I have not been slacking or resting idly on the couch... I have been around... I have been running; not as far, or as often as I might have wished, but running nonetheless.
Some of the runs, have felt a tad like I was running on auto-runner, but, each one brought something useful to me.
I have, these last few runs, since the first hard, hard week of November, used them to ease mind and body, but, in a way quite unlike the way I used my runs, before my running breakdown in 2020. That wore me out, mentally as well as physically and I am still building back from there.
This time I have been trying to use them as an aid to my thought processes. Use them to help keep me buoyant, focused, relaxed and strong. I cannot say that I did this without help. I have been hogging CB, shamelessly, and using his wise words to add power to my plans.
It has been a very busy time, both here on the forum and in my home life too, with all manner of things that life hurls at us at whatever age we are. No time really to sit and take stock, to relax and try to make sense of it all. This is where my runs have been helping. Making me, in the best possible way, find that time, to run, to listen to motivational words, to absorb them and add them to the running mix.
Today, I set out for a gloriously relaxed run here in my happy place, and I continued building on my thoughts of the last few runs . CB came with me for the first part, and although I listened to his words, they came as more of a background to what was going on in my head. Having used this run before, I know it almost by heart.
I have been thinking a lot about over-worrying, feelings of stress, and anxiety, but again, thinking in a positive way. We runners know just how strong and powerful our minds are), those pesky gremlins that tell us we cannot run, we should not run, we are too slow it's too wet, etc., and that is just our running! Now, I have got to thinking, what are the ways I can use those really strong and powerful feelings in a way that helps, instead of hinders me?
If my mind can be so strong when working against me, then surely it can be just as strong working for me?
Hmmmm.... Well, here is where my infamous mantra of slow and steady comes in... this is not going to be a quick fix, there is, no magic answer, no instant solution. It takes time.
It has taken me a lot of years to perfect these habits of the mind and it may take while to use them properly! I am good at taking it one step at a time. Also let's face it , we need some of these feelings; fight or flight, they help to keep us safe! I just have to re-learn how to handle them!
I ran a favourite route this morning... down towards the next village. It was not going to be a long run, 20 minutes, and at a really, really easy pace. I did what I always do on my runs. I looked around, and absorbed every sight, smell and sound, whilst running.
The hills distant, and remote, cloud-covered or mist-tipped, sky straight from the paintbox. The crunch of cob nuts under my feet, the rustle of the dry leaves under the domed roof of the cathedral of trees, where even in the darkest shade, dappled sunlight has managed to slip in unnoticed. All this and the unmistakable scent of Autumn in the air. Pure joy.
All this works really well for me, because, by doing this, living in the moment, the now, really calms me, heartens me, and arms me for what may come. I just have to keep practicing holding onto this feeling when things threaten to overwhelm me.
CB is telling me that when I am relaxed, calm and peaceful I am at my strongest... so I must be getting some things right … right? I shall keep doing what I have always done... take it all in, but now, use that to make me even stronger
As the run continued this morning, I was very aware how much better I feel physically. The last week or so has been challenging, but I have maintained my core strength and stamina work, I have retained the weight I have put back on, and have started to sleep a tad better again, too. My pace was not fast, but it was steady, breathing easily as I made a quick detour across the fields to take some photographs. The clouds making wonderful shapes and as I turned back towards home, one cloud formation looked for all the world, like a huge white bird, wings outstretched, taking flight across an impossibly blue sky.
CB had brought our run to a close. He is going to be waiting for me on the next starting line, but as for me, I had to run back up the hill. I moved into the next stage of my thinking, as I made some extra effort, stepping up a gear and doing what I do best, running uphill. Just a kilometer, but enough to keep me happy.... the thoughts of the run in my head, and any remnants of any stress just floating away behind me; that is one thing I am well practiced at ! Just 3K... and home for breakfast.
Today was enough. One last glance at the incredible vista that I am lucky enough to have at my toe-tips...My head is clear, my day lies ahead.
Tomorrow is another day...I am ready for it.
Part 2 Follows...
Oldfloss x
Thank you for reading me x
30 minute run ‘Running on Empty’
I actually did it! 5k in 30 mins
