At age 62 a recovering alcoholic with a challenging mental head I ran my first 5k park run last week. I achieved my aim which was a non stop run. I was, i know, in the last runners but so proud of myself. Did I enjoy it? I'm not sure and my head keeps saying do you really need to go up to the next group in the running club just poodle round the streets on your own they won't miss you.
Don't know if anyone gets this but you have all been talking about gremlins and I get them about turning up in a crowd when my anxiety kicks in. Thanks for listening peepsxx
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suegrace
60minGraduate
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You just ran 5k and you think you're not good enough ? Good enough for what ?
I know soooo many people who can't run 5k. You're better than all of them at running 5k.
Crowd anxiety ? I empathise. I panic in large crowds. But if you hang near the back you should be ok no ?
Just breathe and remember that you did this. You got to running 5k, you completed a park run without stopping. Bathe a little in the light of your achievements.
Oh my goodness suegrace of course you’re good enough. ❤️ You’re doing an amazing thing for yourself, and you ran a nonstop 5k. A massive achievement after what you’ve been through. Huge well done! 👊👍💪🏃♀️😀
Stick with your running group. They’ll help spur you on, as will we! We all need a kick up the backside (I posted yesterday grizzling about my run), and the fantastic folk on here are just the people to do just that. 😀
You’re a strong person. You’re a runner! How epic is that? ❤️
You are way strong to have achieved so much. To get out, to run, to post about it. That would inspire so many! It’s ok to be your own inspiration too. Keep going! 👍
Well done on your first Parkrun! 🎉👏🏼🎉 Excellent job to run all the way. Speed doesn’t matter - it’s getting there that counts.
There’s no requirement to move on, you know. You can stay on this forum for as long as you want. 👍😊 I started back in January and I still enjoy reading about everyone’s progress and getting new knowledge and encouragement from all the posts I read.
If you want to run further, of course that’s fine too, and you’re plenty good enough to start. Have a little lurk around Bridge to 10k and see what appeals to you. But really, 5K is a great distance with huge health benefits and lots of lovely runs to do. No need to go anywhere else - stay with your local park run and enjoy getting to know a few people and the course. You can do this! 😊👍 And do keep posting - it’s the place for you if you want to be here. 🎉
Good enough? Your better than that suegrace!! 5k !! Flipping amazing!! Whilst others may sit on the couch, your doing something, running 5k. Hopefully you will reap the rewards both mentally & physically. I wish you well on your fantastic journey. Have faith in yourself👍🏻
Wow congratulations on your 5km, that’s a great achievement and you should be extremely proud. You might have been in the last few ones but you are so far ahead of people doing nothing and 5km is a long way. A lot of people on the forum can’t run 5km yet; I remember how far away it seemed when I started.
Ignore the gremlins, we all get them, go to your running group, you are a runner
You are amazing! Not only did you run a non-stop 5k, but you did it at a parkrun despite having anxiety in crowds. That's HUGE! Congrats 👏👏👏. The benefit of running with a run group is the accountability to help ensure you keep running, but many, like myself, just pootle along doing our own thing. Don't doubt yourself suegrace. You are a runner 🏃♀️💪
You're a warrior! And you are welcome here Sue, we're lucky to have you! We might move our legs but this place isn't about running, it's about conquering self doubt! We fight gremlins here, we're good at it!
Congratulations on your first park run. I find those really difficult still. I was never an alcoholic, but I have really struggled with depression, though it’s much better now.
When I graduated, I never thought I would achieve that. Every single run I do now, I doubt whether I can even run 10 yards.
The best way to deal with them? Run right though them! I’m on holiday in Whitby at the moment. Last night I ran down the 199 steps to the town, and then back up them without stopping. The gremlins told me I couldn’t, but I ignored them.
You have already proved you can do something most people can’t. You don’t have to move forward, no-one can take away what you’ve already achieved, but it’s there if you want it. And let me tell you one thing the gremlins will deny: You can do way more than you can imagine!
Hi Neil well done you and thank you for your comments. I'm sure the running helps with depression and anxiety. I wish I'd discovered it before I self medicated with the alcohol. I thought it was only addicts who had these negative gremlins in their head. I appreciate your kind commentsxx
Unfortunately we're all addicts of some kind, we just don't see it. Whether it be self-sabotage, self-doubt, silencing the inner cricital voice is hard. The dark places become our comfort zone just like the addiction is a comfort blanket. The unknown, better ways of thinking and being are scary and hard but worth the fight. 💪🏻👍🏻
Hey Sue, you know, life is full of what ifs. We know running is fantastic for mental health, and trying to leave the past behind also helps. You aren’t defined by your past. There are many things I regret in the past, but my past mistakes don’t define my future, and nor do yours. Every day can be a fresh start. Guilt doesn’t do any good or serve any purpose, it’s who you are now that matters. And for the record, you are awesomely brave and strong for admitting you were an alcoholic, and I respect you so much for that.
You’re more than good enough... you’re a victory! Look what you’ve achieved so far. Do you need to parkrun or run in a group to be a runner? No, absolutely not. Running is a personal thing... your pace is your pace, and your ambitions with it are all that matters. Well done getting that parkrun done... it’s ticked off now and nobody can take it away from you... you beat the run and your own personal demons. My advice is to run when, where and for whatever time/distance makes you happy.
Hi, after reading your post I think you’re amazing! Your first 5k combined with a Park Run - well done, that’s a huge achievement. Rest assured we all get the gremlins but there is tons of advice on this brilliant forum on how to beat them. I haven’t done many Park Runs and the first one I absolutely detested purely because of the crowds, I was completely out of my comfort zone. But - I have been back since and just adapted my mind set. I focus on My Run and try not to get disappointed by the many that overtake me! Wishing you all the best with your next run. Good luck- you’re an inspiration xx
You are doing fantastic! Way better than me who is still a parkrun virgin. Have some faith in yourself and just take stock of what you have and are achieving. Be kind to yourself. Sounds like your addiction now is running...much much healthier....you,are inspirational to others
I have, a 10k in 2 weeks and im not sure im ready...my friend who talked me unto it has chickened out...we all have wobbles...just come on here, the support from fellow runners is uplifting...i think of it as a running family.
Well done on the 5k parkrun - you have always been good enough but you just didn't realise it! I'd stick with the running club just because I feel running with others is easier (I'm looking for one to join but I'm feeling a bit frightened about taking that step) - like someone else said already- if the crowd is an issue try sticking to the back/edges. I wish you all the very best on your running journey - please keep us updated.
Hi 5 dogs I run with zero to hero club my next class starts today called steady improves. It takes so much for me to turn up but I'm going to after everybody's words of encouragement. Xx
Just for the record after almost 40 years of believing the running community was an elitist bunch who would NEVER welcome an overweight non athletic girl, I’ve been overwhelmed by the support online, on Parkruns, whilst out on my own, the nicest people seem to run and pass on encouragement and advice, please don’t feel your not good enough we all are! 😊
Congratulations on everything you are doing to improve your life! You’re doing brilliantly.
Like sobriety, just take the running “one day at a time” (or one K at a time?) You will probably find that you’ll gradually improve your speed without really trying, as long as you keep running 3 times a week, when you can.
I tried working on my speed and found it absolutely impossible, but just running 12-15 km every week at a comfortable pace has seen my parkrun time gradually improve over the last 4 months.
The 'not enough' gremlins are some of the hardest to slay, whether it's the fast enough, clever enough, fit enough, and worst of all... good enough.
Good enough for whom or what?
My heart goes out to you, firstly you're doing the right thing by turning your back on alcohol, something my mother couldn't do and she died last year at just 63. You deserve more than that, and you've been good enough to make the right decision and changes to make that happen.
Secondly, you're being braver than me. My various excuses for not running in groups are primarily anxiety-based... and yet you're doing it, both at parkrun and running group!
Self acceptance and forgiveness are difficult things, but I think if you step back mentally and look at yourself you know that yes, you have previously made poor choices but you're doing your best to make good choices now. No one can go back and create a new beginning but anyone can start today and create a new ending, which you are embracing. (And I know it's not easy). That is way more than "good enough" in my book so please give yourself some credit for the changes you're making 💕
If you're receiving counselling maybe focus on some self esteem and self love work cause you really are (to quote L'oreal) worth it 👍🏻😉
It's easy to be hard on yourself. Allow us to be kind. I've been running over a year. I'm still near the back when I do Parkrun. I would like to be faster, but a year ago i didn't think I could run for longer than 90 seconds. Small steps, you're doing brilliant! X
Do what is comfortable for you but now your’re Into Park Runs and the like then I suggest you keep going. Hopefully your anxiety will diminish. Why not consider volunteering at the Park Run sometimes to help integrate you with people.
You are an inspiration, 62 ( same age as me by the way) a recovering alcoholic and your running 5k and doing Parkrun, I have issues about park run and groups in general for probably the same reasons of inadequacy so tend to run alone but reading posts that others have the same issues might Make me give it a try. Well done and good luck on your journey to a better life.
Hi Gingeral 57. I plucked up the courage and went up to the steady improvers class this morning! Team were supportive first time I ran on the streets with them. So proud. Thank you for your kind commentsxx
What an achievement! You should be so proud of yourself and can definitely call yourself a runner! 🏃♀️👏Everyone has gremlins 👾😈 & not just about running. Several of us run for our sanity not just health on this forum - me included and often due to bereavement, stress or other issues. I find Parkrun a bit stressful with the crowd & competitive element so don't go that often but I do volunteer from time to time. You might like to try volunteering. It certainly gives a different perspective when you're an observer - most people do not run round effortlessly and you see all ages, shapes & abilities at closer hand. And you really can make a difference helping someone else's gremlins by your encouragement. A couple of weeks back when it was hot I volunteered, a man came back at the end to thank me for my words of encouragement as he was finding it tough at that point & said it kept him going. I was quite touched that I had helped someone in that small way.
Keep running, have faith in yourself and be kind to yourself. 🙂 X
Well done you yes I may well try that I love helping others. I plucked up the courage and ran my first steady improvers they were a lovely bunch and I did it hills and all. Thank you for your lovely commentsxx
Wow you done so well to do your Parkrun running the entire course and don’t worry about the crowds I don’t know one person that enjoys walking in to a crowd alone! You did it and I hope the Parkrun bug bites you! Loads of people on this forum enjoy Parkrun, look out for the thread as we near Saturdays
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Not so poetic!! Parkrun aim....but not today!! ❤️
I'm not a real runner.....apparently😳
Weather still good😊
I'm a Man of Course I Don't Read Instructions 
Stomped those gremlins good!!!
