how breast cancer has affected our marriage

2.5yrs ago my wife had treatment and is now on tamoxefin. our marriage is in crisis. she suddenly ask me to leave the house, things were difficult. i wasnt coping with the changes in her moods and change in how she behaved with me. i dont think its just the may be due to the drug affecting her hormone levels. so 7 weeks on she still has multiple mood changes, wont let me see the children. and doesnt think there is anything wrong with her. anyone having similar issues please tell me...desparate husband who loves his wife and doesnt like seeing her hurting like this.

6 Replies

  • We can understand yours and your wife's situation. Cancer is a very difficult illness, both for the patient and a care giver. There are times when there are mood swings for both. There are feelings of depression and hopelessness alike, at times.

    In spite of all your differences, we sincerely suggest that you both try to meet and talk it out. If you feel it's difficult to talk, you can keep a common friend or a well wisher and discuss differences. It's always better to talk and reconcile. A little giveway here and a little giveway there always manages to re unite a family and bring about happiness.

    We are with you both.

  • Larry from which place you are? Its disturbing to see such a case. Since last so many years we have seen a patient after detecting with cancer becomes more motivated, God fearing - she wants to do what the best she can do for her family.

  • It is not unusual, with all cancers, for the patient or the spouse to at some point have difficulty dealing with the diagnosis. This often happens some time after things seem to be progressing well. I hope, as Dr. Shah has suggested, that you and she, separately or together, can find someone to help you through this period. Are there support groups for patients and / or caregivers anywhere in your area? If not, perhaps your wife would find it helpful to discuss her feelings here with other patients or one on one with someone in the group who has a similar diagnosis and life situation.


  • Hi Larry, this is really sad to know..we can understand your feelings but dear this happen sometime with most of the cancer patient but as you know nothing is persistent so its also gone to settle down with just try to control your emotions and avoid hot argument (if its there).

    we are having TPI whatsapp group also there is all BC survivors and if you want then someone can talk to your wife in general and she can join our TPI whatsapp group...i am sure she will feel better after joining TPI group.



  • This is an excellent video series about cancer. It is in 11 parts but so worth it. It's information to help you make some informed decisions and know the truth. htt:// spammer

    Edit: Healthyfoodmaven needs to read rules of the forum. Her advice to that video above (which is about naturopathy and eating raw foods and such) is particularly helpful I think - advising to eat raw fruits and vegetables for someone who is experiencing a marital turmoil!!

  • I think the edit should read "is NOT" particularly helpful. Have to love auto correct! My laptop has been out of control recently with absurd additions to what I type and spell check corrections that change words from the correct spelling to an incorrect spelling.

    I hope things have improved between you and your wife!


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