First of all, thanks for the forum. It was much needed. International forums help but most of the times we cant relate to their suggestions due to unavailability of most of the items in India.
My mom has been diagnosed with BC (DCIS left breast and lymph nodes, 3cm tumor). Started Chemo on June 12. My whole family is so tensed since diagnosis, specially my dad. My mom is being treated in Max Super Specialty, Saket, Delhi. She was given an option for lumpectomy and mastectomy. She chose the first one for obvious reasons. The doctor has started chemo. They have installed a port on her for chemo. She was unable to eat anything for first three days of chemo.Now she is eating but in small quantities. She was given nausea medicine but still suffered for 3 days.
She has been advised for 8 chemo cycles before surgery. She is positive but gets tensed now and then, Its heart breaking to see her go through all this. I stay in Hyderabad for my job and am home for just two weeks. My only sister and dad are supportive but remain tensed. My mom is worried about loosing her breast. My extended family has been very supportive as well. I am so worried about her. I cant sleep at times. She'll start loosing her hair soon. I dont know how will we handle all this emotional stress.
Should we shave her head,, or keep her hair ? Where to buy wigs, and supportive undergarments. How to handle stress? All of us are there for her but still.. so many questions remain unanswered. I hope to find some solace in this forum.
Thanks.
MG
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mommysgirl
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Your concern for your mother is genuine and I can totally empathize with you. It is always hard to see someone you love, especially your mom, go through something like this. But from what I know and hear, cancer treatment in India is very good and medically and technologically advanced. Since she is in Max, she would be getting great treatment. You should have faith in the doctors and in her recovery.
I wish words could heal. They cannot heal, but they can most definitely give you strength and provide you with some support. I was diagnosed with stage 3 breast cancer at the age of 28. I remember how my family was going through my illness with me. I felt bad since I couldn't do much to support them. But I used to love their happy and hopeful faces. I am sure your mother loves to see you cheerful. Be supportive and cheerful around her. It will give her positive energy and reinforce her faith that everything will be alright. Believe me honey, like all bad things in this world; this too shall pass.
A loving family and supportive extended family is such a blessing!
I pray for you and your family. This shall pass. Hugs and prayers,
Shikha
Hii Mommysgirl
Sad to know all this but be positive. I can understand all this. For me cancer is not only the disease of physical loss but also a great emotional and psychological balance .
I am 31, a research fellow, diagnosed with breast cancer on May 2013. BCS and first chemo done.In my family ,I have a younger brother behind me.
The day I was diagnosed,I was so depressed, I was unable to accept that how could I have cancer, why the all worst things of the world happens with me only, how will I afford my treatment cost,who will look after me, .and was thinking I am not to going treat it.But I am blessed with good friends and people so a half battle I have won.
Chemotherapy was also so traumatic for me when I get to know that It can effect fertility, it makes me cry but I believe miracle happens.I am a biotech student so every times a lot of worries comes in my mind.My fingers not only Googled them but they also open research article before me and sometimes that makes me scared.But I am trying to control my mind, ..reading spiritual books and discussing on this forum.
Make your mother feel positive and stay strong.My treatment is going on at Rajiv Gandhi Rohin, Delhi. I met with best and kind oncologist of the world who not only made my treatment low cost by all means but also gave me a great emotional support.There are doctors in the world like him and also like Dr Sumeet, who can make changes in our society for cancer survival.so,feel that positive energy around you
Your mom,s chemo started when please ? She is through with her first chemo? Well I was diagnosed with this last year on July 11, 2012. and had myself treated at RGCI, Rohini. My treatment including 6 chemos, surgery (mastectomy) , and radiation was completed on 9th February, 2013.
It is heart breaking for all in the family to watch mom suffer, my only daughter in Moscow came down with her 3 year old son to be with me for almost the whole treatment with some breaks in the middle, my brother in Abu Dhabi came down almost for all chemos and surgery and my cousin's wife from Gujrat camev to be with me for all the chemos , surgery and the last few radiations also. My friends in Delhi were great support and the last but not the least my team of doctors in RGCI were all very supportive. Some friends of mine from Kolkata came to give me company in absence of the above mentioned family members. So we in India not only have an advanced treatment but our family, extended family, friends and relatives are a very big support.
Well things are easier said than done but since we have no option we have to go through the Marathon treatment. So be positive Max is a good hospital and they do take care oft eir patients a lot. It is slightly upscale hospital but the care is good. You might like to know why I did not go to Max because the radiology head in RGCI is a good and close friend of mine.
For my chemos I used to admit myself in the RAJIV GANDHI INSTITUTE take chemo in the evening and return home thenext day by lunchtime.but it is not necessary to be admitted in the hospital for chemo you can take it at the daycare and be back home the same day, if you are staying close to the hospital. First chemo is tough because if various reasons thedoc must have told you. It is also good that your mom has a port for her chemos, it is much easier in many ways only one has to be a little careful with it and am sure the docs must have told you how to care for it.. Hope your mom recovers very fast from the after effects of the chemo.
Be a strong mommysgirl in front of her and she will gain strength from you two sisters.
Wishing your family to be strong and positive and if you need any help do write in the forum which is a big support to us. Dr. Shah is always there for guidance.
Regarding hair wigs are available in Berkowitts, Dr.shireen hair care and must be in the oncology department of Max. Other supportive accessories will be available in the hospital itself.
Wishing your mom a speedy recovery and be POSITIVE.
Honestly, shikha, rana and rgci above have written such apt replies, I don't have much to say.
I can understand the trauma you must be going through, seeing all this.
I can tell you, many of the side effects of chemo can be very well controlled with appropriate medications.
Your mom is going to pass through immense stress during this period, no doubt, and there will be times, she may not even open up and share, and hide her emotions. Your family and close friends play a very crucial role during this period. The moral support given by a family is crucial. Also, creation of a positive atmosphere at home is a must. I know it is easier said than done, but one must try to. Avoid discussions of cancer altogether, watch television, divert mind, delve into memories, discuss present issues etc.
Due to chemo, she will lose hair and may feel weakness as well. Convince her that all her hair are definitely going to come back, once treatment is over.
Another good way is to introduce her to a few patients themselves, who have completed their treatment and I am sure they can give positive vibes to her and show her that they are fine, and she will be fine too!
If you need any help, let us know. We have lovely people here, who are willing to help at any given time.
Never feel down. We all fight this together. You are not alone.
How r you? Just relax and keep your Mum in prayers, and God will heal her.
There are so many positive comments you have received from individuals, and that itself is so encouraging and supportive, especially Dr. Sumeet, he is always there to give his best support and advice to his patients.
Those who have experienced such situation with their own will understand each other better.
I have also experienced the same, when my mother was going through this trauma.
My mother had a Pancreatic cancer. She had her successful surgery done on 28 March 2012 by Dr. Sumeet. She had undergone few light chemo sessions. After her chemo sessions were over, we started her with some herbal treatment, which has given her very good results, and the same I have suggested to many cancer patients. Yes it is helpful. (Look for SOURSOP (GRAVIOLA) on the net for more detailed information. I shall help you with more information if needed.
As Dr. Sumeet has stated above, your mother is currently going through immense stress and she may not be able to share her feelings with you'll to see you'll tensed. Therefore moral support and understanding with love, care and concern is all that your mother needs to overcome this situation. Try to keep her very happy and her mind diverted from this illness.
Wish you All the Best. I shall keep your mother in prayers too. Please avoid all types of Non-Veg and sweetness from sugar as it is very bad for cancer.
sad to know about ur mom. dear i can understand how it is painful for a family and a person who is going through. dear it is very difficult for every one but as we all know we have no alternative than to take the treatment.
i was also diagnosed breast cancer in feb 2013 and have undergone 3 surgeries and now 4 chemo are over and 2 left and radiation also left. My family and friends and this forum of course are big support for me. It was nice that port is inserted in the beginning of treatment. i was not advised for it and after 3 chemo i was not in mental and physical position to go for one more surgery. But after 2-3 chemo it is very painful for chemo to be given on hand. But then think only 2 are left and therefore facing. Think about good time to come. i also think of the same and it helps to come out of pains.
dear take care of ur mom cause the relation of mother and daughter is that it can help each other in coming out of any situation. i myself have experienced that my mom is very big support for me. Ur moral support and love will help her to face the situation.
pray to god for ur mom.to help her to face the situation
Very sad to know about your mother. My sister was detected with cancer & now undergoing chemos. It is very stressful to face when our mother or sister diagonse with cancer. You cannot believe when my sister is undergoing surgery & chemo it is very very painful to see but cannot help. I have sleepless nights for so many days just counting down the days when my sister will be OK.
Having only faith in God and doctors - is the only solution for us. Yes of course we have this forum - whenever tense for any question - you will get guidance from Dr Sumeet and all the members. This has helped me a lot to overcome.
For hair loss - we have purchased wig for her. Hair loss was within 10 to 12 days after chemo and we have to shave her head. Rest for the chemos first week is painful, from 2nd week she starts to go to office as this changes her mind. Whenever I sit outside the corridor of the hospital whene my sister is taking chemo - I see so many patients - hoping God will do well for all of us.
Take care of your mom & your family - she will come out -
Thanks a lot for all the supportive and encouraging answers you all have provided. I understand that some of you are going through it on your own as well. My prayers and good wishes are with you all.
I am glad that I joined the forum. All of you are so helpful, kind and patient. I will keep posting about my Mom's treatment. Her Chemo started on June 12 2013. We are all very scared about her hairfall. How should we handle it? Any positive thoughts on that will help.
Hi mommysgirl I will send you a picture I took of myself after shaving my head and then one with a wig. Send me your mailing address so that
I can send you the pics. Take good care of yourself , your sister whom you can introduce to this forum too and your father since all three of you are looking well after your mom. God bless all of you and all of us in the forum.BE POSITIVE! I am saying it but I know everything is easier said than done but still ,
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