End of treatment

After being diagnosed in Nov 2015, I've been through chemo for 6 months, a mastectomy with a free tram reconstruction, delayed healing, 25 sessions of radiotherapy and now I have just two more sessions left. It'll all end on Tuesday next. I'll be on tamoxifin for 5 years, though. Somehow I'm unable to rejoice. I'm not sure if it is the fact that after being supported by the medical system for so long, I'm petrified of being on my own with this in my past. Maybe I'm just plain crazy - someone who doesn't count her blessings. I certainly want to, though.

9 Replies

  • I know exactly how you feel. Iwas diagnosed last October the 2nd. I had everything on the menu, chemo, double mastectomy, two more lots of chemo, 25 radiotherapy sessions then bam nothing. Not even tamoxifen due to me beibg triple negative, just a three month wait until my review. I have been three weeks out of treatment now. I have felt a bit low from time to time but youndo need to talk to folk. After three weeks today my lovely neighbours are hosting a cuk de sac bbq on the road with bouncy castle for local kids, all to celebrate my end of treatment after 10 long months. Now things are starting to feel good. You need time to get your head around what has happened. Everyones lives have moved on while ours went on hold for nearly a year. I am calling to Irish cancer support services. You can chat, laugh (I try to find something to laugh at as often as I can, as laughter really does do good), go to relaxation classes, paint, reflexology, yoga.... or if needed...cry... just get it all out there. Then my friend, you can start to live again. All the best with your new start. Im sure you will be fine. xxxx

  • Thanks, Lainey66. So heartened to hear from you. I have followed your progress through the treatment and know that you've had a far more difficult time than me. Through it all, you have managed to keep your spirits up as much as possible - I know how tough that would have been. You have been an inspiration. I will try everything you suggested.

    Thanks again. Have a peaceful and happy and healthy life, my friend. :-)

  • I finished my treatment in January 2014, like you, I wasn't sure how i'd cope as I felt like I was going to be abandoned by the medical people, but, in my own head I turned it around, it wasn't them abandoning me, it was me abandoning them and they'd be at the end of the phone if needed, and as time went on, I got used to a life without hospital appts etc, I wish you well and hope you continue to live a long healthy life x

  • What a thought, Jennymary! I'm abandoning them. They are not abandoning me. They are but a phone call away. Thanks for this useful perspective. Looking forward to getting used to life without hospital appointments.

    Thanks a lot. And wish you a happy healthy life too.

  • I know exactly how you feel too .when I finished my radiotherapy I thought omg what now somehow going the appointments meant the cancer was on the back foot all the time but it was strange like a safety net being removed ..I am on tamoxifen for ten years and see surgeons every twelve months and yearly mammogram which was recently all clear ...you are not crazy you are normal and those feelings are perfectly understandable especially to those who have been through the same . I think family and friends can find it difficult to understand.but remember you are not alone in those thoughts it's not being negative you are just being honest to yourself and we are all on here for the same things ie sharing ,caring,advice and just being there .you take care and stay well. Always remember you can talk to the team at the Haven I did my friends took me the counsellor was brilliant and I recall my friend thanking her for giving her back her best friend..just talking on here is great .

  • I re-iterate everything that everyone has said but I really like the abandoning them perspective. There is always someone at the end of a phone you can talk to or use this site which is so helpful and uplifting. Best wishes to you Supriya-s xx

  • Hi. When you've been battered so much in order to get better it is bound to leave you feeling a bit flat and anxious, remember your haemoglobin and white cell count will have reduced significantly so you are not going to feel , you, again for a while. Be kind to yourself and allow time to heal and recover, you will get there in your own time.

    Only 5 years on Tamoxifen, ask the oncologist why not 10 years as that is the latest recommendation or perhaps they are planning to swap you onto something else at that point.

    Either way, good luck and so glad for you that treatment is coming to an end.


  • Hi I too understand what you are saying. Mine was a relatively simple journey (lumpectomy, 2 nodes out, 15 radio and tamoxifen for 10 years) but still tough. When I finished my radio in January this year I remember that feeling of being scared that having had someone look at my breast and ask me about it on a daily basis, there was nothing- like standing on the edge of a black hole. You do adjust to it and get on with life but it is always at the back of my mind, the slightest ache or pain and the fear is right back. This I am assuming will fade with time for all of us as we go on to make the most of our lives. But you do view life differently and I see it that I have been given a clean slate so I intend to get on with it. Many best wishes and hugs for your new chapter xx

  • Thanks all for the super support. Am looking forward to starting again with my life soon. One thing I intend to do is to volunteer at the local cancer center. Like I have benefited from everyone's support and advice, I'd like to offer help to those newly diagnosed or those undergoing treatment if I possibly can.

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