Almost at the end of treatment

[CM1968]

Hi ladies

Long story short, double breast cancer both sides, surgery, delayed healing (4 1/2 months), 2 seperate rounds of radiotherapy, second of which is coming to an end this week.

Feel so low, when I should be feeling ecstatic. Is this normal?

Found a new lump in left breast last week, breast care nurse felt it and asked consultant to take a look and she refused and said make an appt for 2 weeks when radiotherapy finished. In my rational brain I know it's probably scar tissue, but to be dismissed out of hand was a blow. An ulrrasound would have reassured me straight away and now I'm left with the fear and dread again (I know you will all understand that).

Consultant said I can come on the 18th, but no ultrasound facilities that day, so might have to come back again if she thinks I need one or wait until March?? I'm a patient, still receiving treatment, surely this cant be right?

I have an appt with my oncologist today, do you think I should mention it to him? My consultant has made me feel worthless and a nuisance and I feel like I don't even want to see her now.

Your advice and support would be much appreciated ladies.

Thank you

CM

[Jennymary]

Hi CM, yes it's normal to feel low when coming to the end of treatment, I did anyway, you're in a roller coaster journey and you've always got someone to ring if you have a problem (more later), suddenly the ride stops and you're left to get on with your life, which you will, be kind to yourself, do all the little things you weren't able to do when going through your treatment, I'm sorry that you've found another lump, I would have thought the hospital could have got you in for an ultrasound as you'd be at the hospital anyway, with regard your consultants attitude ask if you can be seen by another one, I'm sure the hospital can arrange that for you, you say you're seeing the oncologist today, if by the time you read this you've seen them I hope it went well. If reading this before you go I send good luck wishes your way x

[CM1968 in reply to Jennymary]

Hi Jenny

Thank you for your advice and support. The oncologist examined the new lump and although he suspects it could just be scar tissue, he is referring me for an ultrasound to put my mind at rest. It will take a few weeks for the appt to come through, but at least he didn't dismiss my concerns.

Thanks again

CM x

[Ditzy60]

Sounds like your consultant has lost sight of the fact that while for her this is a job for the patient it is a petrifying, life changing event and so a little empathy and sensitivity should be expected and freely given by all health care professionals involved in your care! Please do tell your oncologist and stress how anxious it has made you. Hope all goes well, big hugs Carolyn xx

[CM1968 in reply to Ditzy60]

Thank you, wise words x

[pollymacchili]

Absolutely discuss this and any/all concerns with your oncologist! (Glad you did as reported in your later post.) Don't know if a sports analogy will work for you...but think of yourself as the head coach, marshaling a team of specialist players. You deploy them in various combinations (treatment strategies) over time to get you to the goal line. When a player on your team isn't listening to the coach, you send them to right to the bench or maybe even the locker room and put in another player! And, like a good coach, it won't hurt to tell the players who are your stars, what a good job they're doing for you! Together, you will win the "game"...many more good days and nights! Peace!

[CM1968 in reply to pollymacchili]

Thank you, trying hard to be more assertive. I'm like a lioness when it comes to my children, but can't seem to apply the same to myself.

X

[carolinenailsea]

Hi CM. I think its perfectly natural to feel so low and anxious given where you are and given you are worried about a lump. You have been through such a lot and are still processing all the horrible things that have happened and are still happening to you. Many of us are now through the 'acute' phase of the journey and know that you will get stronger but right now its all on top of you. It does come to an end but at the moment its so full on for you that it will take every ounce of your strength and energy to get through the next few weeks. Hang on in there, the journey does eventually get easier. Just for now try and not to expect too much of yourself, be kind and gentle to yourself. Hugs and kisses Caroline. Good luck.

[CM1968 in reply to carolinenailsea]

Thank you Caroline, really appreciate your support.

CM x