A sleepless night - update

[LindaLittleBear]

Hello Everyone

Here's to a happier, healthier 2025. May we all rise to meet the challenges we face. 🙏❤️

So I saw the surgeon on Friday, exactly a year since I was diagnosed with breast cancer.

The good news is the skin biopsy is clear!

We had another long conversation about how to treat my breast and the reactions I have experienced since surgery and radiotherapy and the conclusion is a mastectomy naturally its not a lightly made decision and the aim is better health going forward.

Unfortunately reconstruction isn't possible due to other health issues and the length of time that extensive procedure would take.

I've signed the consent forms and awaiting some further Imaging, preparing for surgery in February.

In the meantime I'll be seeing the breast cancer nurse to further discuss the op and talk about prosthetics. I've also been told I can have a psychology referral before the surgery.

Really what I would like to know is, those of you who have had a mastectomy, how did you cope emotionally with your situation.

Thank you for listening! xx

[Happyrosie]

hello Linda.

Mastectomy - I’d always told myself that if I ever had breast cancer I’d do my best to ensure that I’d have a lumpectomy if at all possible. The surgeon said, when he told me I had a lump, that he thought (from the imaging), that this might be possible but I opted for a full mastectomy and node clearance. I’m so glad I did because the tumour was far larger than the image indicated, so I’d have had to have another op to remove the breast.

At the time I was deeply grateful to my own doctor and then the surgeon, for finding the lump quite by chance - it was enormous but not palpable because it was so deep .

So, I was very very grateful to have the mastectomy and didn’t have any psychological issues. I’ve not had a reconstruction - quite happy with the prosthesis.

[LindaLittleBear in reply to Happyrosie]

Happyrosie,

Thank you for sharing, it's good to hear you had a positive outcome with the mastectomy and are happy with the prosthesis!

[Cyara_B]

How did I cope with a mastectomy? Such a good question LindaLittleBear. Some days I did and somedays I didn't cope. My husband looked at the dressing post surgery and went, okay, you are still here, we'll be okay. 12 years on, I still have days I don't like seeing the reconstruction and scars in the mirror. But I also know that without it I would be dead by now. I choose to make the most of each day. I am so much more than my chest, my scars, the breast cancer diagnosis. Would I have preferred to not have the reconstruction and stuck with prostheses? No. I hated the faff and fiddle of slotting it into my bra every morning/whenever I changed my clothes/bra. The hassle of such limited choices of bras. You will have good days, you may have some awful days, but you will get through this and move forward. You can do this. Love n hugs xx

[LeoEucalyptus in reply to Cyara_B]

Hello LindaLittleBear,

I suspect one's emotional response to mastectomy may depend inter alia on one's age - I'm 74 - and on one's general emotional response to diagnosis and outlook. I didn't ever consider implants given my age and its reduced vanity plus my fear of adverse physical reactions. Plus I had had enough of operations/hospitals and figured at 74 I didn't have the reserves of energy of a younger woman

You'll see from my enquiry on this forum a few months ago re fatigue, that I had 1st breast cancer in 2008 (IDC right breast: lumpectomy + ALND) and second primary BC in 2022 (ILC : left breast: lumpectomy+SND/re-excision/mastectomy).

So, I think I may have been in the same boat as Happyrosie with my mastectomy in 2022 insofar as ILC extent is often missed on scans hence re-ops are not uncommon. It was easy for me given that surgeon could not get clear margins at lumpectomy nor at re-excision nor even with mastectomy - hence chemo and rads. I was/am scared of recurrence. So, because the surgeon and oncologist said it was essential, then I was of course content.

Yes I was very sad, especially the evening before the mastectomy but I'd already had the lumpectomy/SND and then the re-excision in the previous 5 or so weeks, so I was tired and emotional anyway. But the day after the mastectomy I felt so relieved and left hospital, jumped in a taxi and went to my afternoon Mandarin class. I continued to feel relieved from then on ie I'd done all I could.

My reaction to having only one breast (I was 34C) was to laugh at myself every time I looked in the mirror. To me it looked aesthetically silly/unbalanced. My remaining breast had the lumpectomy scar from 2008 which was an inverted smile above the nipple - like an unhappy cabbage-patch doll :☹️ Plus I found it such a bother to have the silicone prosthesis which was needed to match the weight of my missing left breast. I understand this is recommended because our posture develops over the years and apparently we can get stiff and sore not only from the mastectomy op itself but also because our weight distribution is disrupted. I for one found the silicone prosthesis bulky, and hot in summer. Here in UK it cost £150 plus it began to perish inside 1 year!

In the end, I chose to have a voluntary mastectomy of my right breast in 2023. In the UK this requires the endorsement of a qualified clinical psychologist - to make sure one's decision is sane (ie no major regrets later/no wanting one's leg removed next/ no suing the surgeon for malpractice etc 🙂). Before I went ahead, I took advice from a breast-care nurse re 'softies' rather than silicone prostheses. They are so easy to wear! They are cheap! They have cotton shells! And the nurse suggested I get the softies that matched the shape of my remaining breast (unless I wanted to change shape). Excellent advice, not least because it meant I didn't have to change anything in my wardrobe.

Please be of good cheer LindaLittleBear. You write that between you and your surgeon the decision is a mastectomy. That may help you a lot in your emotional response. We are each so much more than the sum of our parts (bits 🙂). So even without a few 'bits', in my view, we are still who we always were and possibly richer for our deeper experience of life's challenges.

Warmest wishes and cheers of encouragement to you

LeoEucalyptus

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[diamondial]

I know this might not be relevant in your situation, but there is an implant technique where the implant is placed over the muscle, not under, thereby making it a much simpler operation to recover from. You might be interested to have a look - braxon.com/prepectoral