Awkward question

So I'm about 8 weeks (first time and feel clueless!) and having my first midwife appointment in a week or so. 

But I just found out that a friend of mine has lost her baby (I don't like using the word lost but don't know how else to put it). She was 23 weeks and said he had serious heart abnormalities. It's so sad.

I'm just wondering if anyone can tell me how that would be discovered. Would it have been through a scan? Would it have been a miscarriage?

 I've read about the first trimester being most common to miscarry, and I realise it can happen anytime, but when it happens to someone you know it makes it all the more real.

I feel terrible because, I've got all these questions whizzing around my head which are totally too insensitive to ask but are now making me even more anxious!

4 Replies

  • U can go to any hospital and tell them about ur worrys my friend is 18 and has resontly just had a healthy baby boy she has a hole in her heart and an abnormal hert beat so it depends on the person to weather it affects the baby  u can get it cheecked or descoved by going  to the hospital and put on a heart monitor it will show any abnormalities and I'm sorry to here about ur friend 

  • Heart abnormalities can be seen in the 20w scan. 

    She might have had a miscarriage too, but this is not always the case. 

    Hope this answers some of your questions

  • Hi there

    It is natural to have lots of questions about pregnancy and miscarriage so don't ever feel terrible about this.

    This miscarriage website should be able to help answer lots of your questions:

    Best wishes


  • I've had 3 miscarriages and no children  (yet) if your worried about miscarriage symptoms, why it happens etc I'm happy to discuss. I think everyone needs to be able to speak openly about miscarriages and worries etc :)

You may also like...