Young and pregnant and unsure what to do

[_lolarose]

So I found out that I was pregnant today. My whole world turned upside down. I've always wanted a baby, but later in life. I didn't actually think I would end up falling pregnant. I'm only 19 and my boyfriend and I both go to the same university. I don't know what to do because I am against abortions, but my boyfriend broke down when I told him I was pregnant. It is both our fault as we should have been more careful and we've only been together for just over half a year. He feels like he's too young and not ready to be a dad as he's only 21, and I'm in a predicament because I am going into my second year of university once summer is over. I have already paid a deposit for a house to share with my uni mates. I haven't got anyone I can talk to about it and I don't know what to do. My boyfriend wants me to get rid of it because he's not ready , but the balls in my court and he's getting worried when I said to him I don't know what to do. I spoke to a nurse and she worked out I'm roughly 7 weeks gone, my foetus is the size of a blueberry at this stage! I really don't know what to do and I seriously need some help, I know ideally it's not fair to bring a child into the world when I have no money I'm a student and I have a rubbish job, but at the end of the day it's still a child. I'm so scared of what my family and friends with think but I haven't got long left if I want to terminate it. Advice would be much appreciated x

[SC94]

I understand you're scared. I got pregnant at 17 I'd been with the dad for 2 months,I had just quit college and worked in McDonald's. Luckily the dad had a stable job and a flat and I had a supporting family. They were shocked as I was so young but they got used to it. I know what it's like to feel pressured as my dad wanted me to have an abortion. I don't know if I was really ready to have a baby but somehow you get ready being a mum is the best thing that ever happened to me. I wouldn't change it for the world. The dad and I are now married and have another child so have a 3 year old and a 22month old and I'm pregnant again now. He has a great job we have a house. You make it work if you want to. Babies and children don't want expensive things they want love. So don't feel bad if you haven't a lot of money. But on the other hand if you feel you can't do it then that's fine too... you are young and you still have so much life to live but it's whether you decide to live that with a baby in picture. People do university with babies it is hard really hard but it's worth it in the end when you have a degree and a great future for you and your baby. I'm going back into studying when the kids get a bit older. Don't make the decision based on anyone else or you might regret it further down the line and if the dad can't handle it then you can do it yourself there's so many single mothers my mum was a single mum. It's not easy but you get through it! I hope this helps and I'm here if you need someone to talk too just don't rush into a decision until you're 100% x

[_lolarose in reply to SC94]

Thanks so much... It's nice to hear advice from someone whose also been through the same X

[hspread]

I know exactly how you feel, I was 16 and finishing high school with a place already secure for college I was working aswell but was a crap wage, I fell pregnant and me and my boyfriend had only been together a few short months and he didn't want the baby, but there was no way I could abort that just wasn't a option for me, we did split up and my family were not best pleased but they got over it and became very supportive, my boyfriend attend the scans and we soon got back together when my little girl was born, although he thought he couldn't do it at just 19 he was unable to stay away, we have been together 8 years now with two beautiful children and im expecting again, it was hard raising a child when we were still kids ourselves but we found a way, whatever you decide do it for you not based on other people, if you want the baby then have it things will work out, and if you don't then have a abortion but the decision must be for yourself, good luck I wish you all the best

[feedo33]

I was a bit older than you when I became pregnant at 25 and had already been through uni. My world was also turned upside down. My boyfriend of 2 1/2 years didn't want to know and he left me when I was 3 months pregnant.

I chose to keep my child and it is the best decision I ever made.

My parents were very shocked at first, but supported me throughout. We survived without much money until she went to school and I could get a good job. Yes, being a single parent is hard, but it's also incredibly rewarding: she is my best friend too. I think people in general are more accepting/helpful these days and society is geared up to help mums more: childcare etc.

Think over carefully the consequences of what you choose and remember that there are many people who could adopt your child if you choose not to keep him/her and do not want an abortion.

Whatever you decide, be strong and know people care for you.

[Bpas_1968 Partner]

Hi there

It can be very scary when you are in this situation. As hard as it is you are the only person that can make a decision about what happens, as it’s your body. Parents are often far more supportive than you imagine, and sometimes it helps to make a pros and cons list. Do have a counsellor at your university that you talk through your worries, to add to some solutions? There is also a third option, you can continue the pregnancy and put the child up for adoption, and chatting through these things with others can really help. Good luck with your decision. This link may also be helpful:

brook.org.uk/your-life/cate... this is a great page with some good advice.

Best wishes

Katherine

[help-try]

well it's been 15days so you're likely to have made some form of decision. Purely from my perspective it's seems to make the most sense for you to go ahead with a termination. I hope you've done what's best for you and really thought about the out come of both keeping it and aborting

[_lolarose in reply to help-try]

I went and had a scan and did one of those clear blue tests a few weeks ago and it said I was only 2-3 weeks pregnant. I decided to go ahead with the termination because I'm still young and in the middle of uni and I just cannot afford a baby right now.mUnfortunately, I am on holiday and the nurse advised me to wait till after my holiday to proceed with the termination as I was still very early and would have enough time when I am back as I could get an infection whilst away as I am not allowed to submerge I to water for 3-4 weeks. It's has been a really hard and upsetting decision to terminate and I am dreading going home and proceeding with it but in the long term it's for the best. Thank you for your advice X