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British Pregnancy Advisory Service
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Advice needed. 21 wks pregnant - living in a small 1 bed flat. ( A little moan)

Hi, not sure if this is the right place to be posting this but I desperately need advice . So, I'm 21 wks pregnant , I'm 39 and this isn't first pregnancy through ivf.

My boyfriend and me live in a small 1 bed flat and we have been in the same flat for 5 years, we rent . it was lovely when we moved in but over the years we have got so much more stuff which obviously makes the flat cramped . It's looking tatty now , and even when I clean it still looks messy .

I'm panicking about where to put all the baby bits , we can barely fit a crib in our bedroom , I had a clear out of my clothes and have made a free shelf in a wardrobe for baby nappies ect

My partner has said that we will move to a 2 bed flat or house but he's been saying this since June . I'm really finding it difficult not to get stressed - he just seems to be dragging his heels and not talking about how were going to manage , I really don't think he realises how much stuff a baby needs. Any advice is very welcome because I'm slowly going mad here .

6 Replies

Hi, I bet you're frustrated! I'm 21 weeks too! We are about to have building work done on our house walls knocked down and all sorts I'm freaking out! Want everything in place for when baby comes which I bet you do too! I'd say maybe take charge cos if your partner doesn't want to get things rolling with a new place then do it yourself. Start looking online and tell him to look at the ones you like and then arrange viewings. I found my husband wanted to move in the past but only did something when I showed him decent houses and arranged viewings. He just had to come to the viewings and he was pretty Happy with that lol!

If you aren't happy where you are you are best moving cos when baby is here and if you decide to move then it makes it alot harder and more stressful plus you'll want to nest at the end of pregnancy n it would be nicer to do that in the new place I think rather than getting frustrated where you are.

Hope I helped and good luck x


Hi , thanks for your reply . It's difficult because he will be the one paying for the flat I pay half towards our rent at the mo but come Xmas I'll be off work for a year so won't really be able to contribute . So I don't really feel I can just go ahead And book viewings etc . 😞


I know you feel bad you can't contribute but that's all apart of pregnancy and maternity leave. At the end of the day as a main earner it's his responsibility to provide a roof above your heads and if that one isn't big enough you need to move asap before baby arrives. Try sitting down with him and show some places you've seen you like and get his input and try to gently push him to view some and go from there. You are doing what's best for the both of you and the baby because trust me if you think the place is small now when all the baby stuff arrives and the baby is there it'll frustrate the hell out of you lol x


Hi, yes I know that once baby is here and he's getting sleepless nights then having to go to wrk that will get to him lol. At the moment I'm just having a real de- clutter of things . Clearing out drawers, asking his mum to store some bits we never really use in her loft . My parents are coming to stay for a weekend the end of October ( staying in a hotel down road) and they want to take me out to buy me the pram and a few bits . So hopefully we will come back with baby bits . I've just cleared out a drawer in my bedroom for baby only stuff . Might buy a changing mat nxt weekend and keep it on show . He's been bloody miserable lately , I know he's prob stressing too about moving and how we will cope ( we live in quite an expensive area - I'm happy to move further out as will be a lot cheaper but he dosnt want to move out of area ( that's his prob- so he does nothing but wolow and says nothing . I do feel like I'm stepping on egg shells around him lately . Anyway sorry to go on, I'm just concerntrating on sorting out and clearing a few bits , I know it's far from ideal living here but I think I'll have to prepare myself for the worse case sinareo !!! Xx


Yeah my husband gets annoying when I'm pregnant think the idea of having another a baby freaks him out. (We already have 2.. this 3rd one WASN'T planned lol). Well maybe if you find the perfect place a little further out thats cheaper cos in the long run a one bed flat isn't gonna be big enough cos it's not great sharing a bedroom with a baby in a cot after 6months.. not exactly romantic or easy to maneuver around quietly when you need to go in your room and they are asleep. Try explain that to him some men need it shoving in their face before they decide make some action on something lol! Men can be so moody haha. You don't need to apologise I think it's easier to tell someone who is out of the situation so you can get a objective opinion most of the time all of us on here have been through the same or similar situations.

At least your getting your bits together for baby that's organised! I haven'tgot anything I gave everything away after Grace was born thinking I'd never have another but then this surprise happened so need to buy it all again! Lol


Best advice... move! Start looking now and tell your bf he needs to pull his finger out! My hub and I haves just got an offer on a house accepted so will be moving around Xmas (when I'll be over 7 months pregnant)... don't leave it too late, you need the space! X


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