Terminal cancer

Good Morning Pearle, OMG! How dreadful. This is awful for your Mum, you and your family. How does that work - the consultant is overly dramatic?! How unprofessional. I couldnt read your post and disappear without wishing you and your family the very best and sending you lots of love. The only thing I could suggest is that you ring the BLF helpline and ask their advise. Perhaps it is time to ask for a second opinion. Take good care, TAD xxx

Hi sweetie, I am so sorry for your mum, you and family. What a horrible situation. I agree maybe time for second opinion- sorry I can't give any advice, but wish your mum and you all the very very best. Remember miracles do happen....Hugs and kindest thoughtsxx

Hi Pearle and so sorry with what you and your Mum are going through - def ring BLF help line for advice xxxx

I'm not an expert but I believe that if your mum follows these daily steps she may give herself a better chance, if not more quality time: 1. Quit drinking as the liver will become stronger in filtering the blood and help boost the immune system to help in fighting cancer cells. 2. Light exercise everyday that increases breathing, this will oxygenate the body better and help slow the cancer growth 3. Blast with nutrient supplements morning, daytime and evening. Generally the more expensive ones are better. Particular concentrate on Vit D, Vit B, iron, magnesium and zinc. 4. Fresh food and organic. Google all anti-oxident foods and foods that help fight cancer. 5. Cut out eating crap like sugar, high glysemic, processed foods. Hope this helps!

Hello Pearle - I so feel your pain and worry. What with the shock, and the worry of it all, you must be tearing your hair out! It will be difficult for your Mum to give up drinking (I was married to an alcoholic and have lived the nightmare) One thing I would advise is to leave it up to your Mum about her drinking - nagging, pleading and talking about it won't help. It won't help you and it won't help her. What you need to do is to try and take care of yourself, so that you can be there for your Mum. If you get so worried, anxious, full of dread, you will be no help to yourself or your Mum. Please don't think I am lecturing you - I know what it's like to take care of someone you love who is very ill. Wish I knew then what I know now..... it is dreadful that you have had such confusing diagnoses.....do try and speak to a BLF nurse - it won't do you any harm. I will be watching out for you on here, and I wish you all the very best.

Sorry to hear your sad news, I can't add to the advice that has already been given but I do hope you can get a second opinion. Lots of hugs xx

Pearle I'm so sorry for you and your Mum - maybe your doc has the same attitude as my old one used to have; when a consultant gave my late husband "a year, two at best" he was quite angry and adamant that you can't put a time on anyone's life. He was right in that my old treasure lasted for eight years, albeit with heart failure/diabetes etc, not cancer. Go with the flow and remember that this is your Mum's life and she has the right to decide how to spend what could be the last part of it in her own way. I grieve for you but you will be given strength to bear everything. Visit us often - there's always someone here to listen.

Has she tried AA. I joined in 1977 and stayed sober since and my drinking took me to a mental Hospital in the Midlands. Pity I did not give up the smoking at the same time because where the booze failed the fags have got me!! Plus working in a very dusty environment for many years.

Hi Pearle sorry to read your familly problem love, When I first had cancer I also thought the worst, if mum can lay off the booze, as I also was a heavy drinker but have not had a drop now for seven years and I reakon like others have said it helps with the chemo etc and also if possible and I know it will be hard can you all try and be positive as there is a light at the end of the tunnel. For instance Pearle I was not aware of a procedure they carried out on me in January called RTA (you can look it up) where they went in and burnt the tumours, there are new things happening all the time. Speak again you seem a strong person x

To be fair to the Oncologist, the lymph nodes may not have been affected at the time of the original diagnosis. The Oncologist is used to seeing worst case scenarios, so would be reluctant to give false hope.

The GP was trying to make your Mum feel better. When we are vulnerable and frightened, everything is magnified.

Personally, I would want to make the most of the time left, rather than submit to chemotherapy. I would want to do something special with my family, like a weekend away. Better a shorter time with happy memories for my family than drawing things out with chemotherapy.

The final choice is with your Mum. I would suggest you find out as much as possible about the possible side effects of chemotherapy, also the amount of benefit to be gained. Quality of life and the type of palliative care available are very important questions to ask.

Sending prayers for you and your family xxx

I can understand how angry and frustrated you feel about the delay in a full diagnosis. When are Oncologists going to act more quickly?. Perhaps if you have time to write to your MP an investigation will be done.

I sincerely hope your Mum is responding to the chemotherapy and that you have more time together.

Have you been able to see anyone about palliative care in advance? It may be easier to do so sooner rather than later. It really can make a difference.

With love Christine xxx