My Second Tunnel of Light. ( a long blog for tonight )

Hi ALL, This is something I never thought of sharing with anyone but Fran but what has happened to me over the last 6 months has got me round to thinking does someone here want me more than the man above, I have never been a strong believer I turned my back on the catholic church many years ago over my son Marks christening or should I say not, My first experience was in1986 I was very ill with Pancreatic problems awaiting surgery one day Fran was at work and I was in terrible pain ( put together gall stones, stomach cramps. heavy constipation ) this will give you an idea, one minute I was on the sofa the next minute everything was just a blaze of white light I can remember walking down what I thought was a long corridor and I can remember turning back away from the light because someone was pulling me back not calling me but pulling me who or what I don't know to this day, when I came to I was at my front door calling for my neighbour for help, I was rushed to hospital to ill to talk but they carried out the operation straight away I was in recovery for a long time before I was back in a ward, the doctors said I was in a bad way when I arrived at the hospital and if my neighbour had not been there at the time I might not have been here, when we got home I mention it to Fran which surprised her as it was not the sort of thing I would discuss at any level and she got the impression I was talking when I was in the recovery room but told her it was when I was at home so all the white wall or lights were not the hospital corridors and never mentioned it again, Well until this morning that it, over the last 2 weeks I have had a terrible time with my RA 24/7 pain after pain one place after the other, but the last 2 days and nights the pain around my back, hips, and ribcage was constant agony kept saying to myself no sense in going to A&E they would try and give me Morphine which I refuse as this is what caused a relapse 3 months ago and told them I would not take this again if they cannot guarantee me so, 3am yesterday morning I was on the sofa suffering silently could not even use my laptop as my hands were very sore also as Fran was asleep when again the pain hit me and i could feel myself fainting or passing out then all I could see was a bright white light and a long corridor it seemed never ending I was walking and walking then again I was being pulled back no sound no names just being pulled back, and the next thing I knew Fran was shrugging me and calling my name asking me what was wrong I was a bit confused as I could not remember other than sitting in severe pain, Fran says I did not call out she woke up knowing I was in the sitting room and just came through to see if I was ok that is when she tried to wake me up and when she could not then called an ambulance to go to A&E I came to in the ambulance then Fran's said they had checked me out and other than the new meds I was on for RA nothing else had changed they kept me in till lunchtime today carried out all usual tests but could not find or explain where the pain was coming from other than my RA as my Lungs were normal if I can say that, when we got home I told Fran about the white tunnel she thought I was talking about when we got to hospital again I said this happened when I was on the sofa because I can remember her trying to rouse me and talking to her before the ambulance got here, the first time It happened it was so real that is why I mentioned to Fran only the second time was even more real as Fran said she could not rouse me and said I did not call out her name either before or after we went to A&E Fran says maybe a trip to the chapel next door to say a prayer would be nice she cannot explain it, so I take it as the film said Someone Up There Likes Me A Tue Story. MATTCASS.

16 Replies

  • I am sure that is true Mattcass, you are one of the inspirations of this forum, with your braveness and positivity during periods of great pain as well as worn out lungs. Because I also have the same conditions you are one of the first I think of if I feel down. How would you deal with it. I believe you are well liked 'up there'

    Tina x

  • Hi Tina, Thanks for your kind words as I said to annieseed this is why this page is so special we all give each other some sort of inspiration have a great weekend. mattcass

  • What an experience and I hope you are in less pain today, and thank goodness your wife was there to help

    My father ,when he had a stroke, kept pointing at the ceiling and shouting "the light, the light" and shaking his fist. I switched the light off, but he still kept shouting about the light and saying no, no.

    Perhaps he had a similar experience, I have heard of others too

  • Hi knitter Thank you for your reply I have no option but to step up my meds and I fell better already for it I will fight the Docs later have a great weekend.mattcass

  • I know of a lady that had a similar experience. She looked down and saw herself on the op.table. There was a bright light and she was drifting towards a tunnel, when they started to ressusitate her,she came back. She felt as if she was being pulled back so.... who knows!!

    I read these accounts and feel that perhaps they started to die and then were bought back by treatment. Always the bright light.

  • So wrapt up in what I was saying, mattcass, I forgot to wish you well, how very rude SO the very best to you for an easier future for you and Fran xx

  • Hi annieseed, your always there with lovely kind words that's what makes this page special, mattcass

  • Anyone who gets to the end of the tunnel, do let us know what we can expect.

  • Keep going mattcass. All the best


  • Hi KOTC Thanks for your reply, mattcass

  • Thanks for sharing that your time is not up yet still a bit of work for you to do down here before you go. My best friend has a saying "When God wants me he'll call me"

  • Hi copdber, Here's hoping the next time he calls the same person who pulled me back does the same again, mattcass

  • I am so sorry you keep feeling this pain and so pleased you were helped. There are more things in this world than we have the capacity to understand. Maybe it is as simple as God loves you but is not quite ready to meet you? x

  • Hi Toci, And am no exactly ready to meet him yet I might talk to him it's a start. mattcass

  • Good start. x

  • Thank you mattcass

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