I can’t do this anymore

I hope I’m writing in the right forum.

I have suspected IBS and have for eight years now but over the past year I have developed overactive bladder - I’ve been told and did research that suggests this could both be connected.

I thought IBS had ruined my life by boy was it wrong. OB has literally destroyed me. I now suffer with servere panic attacks daily because of this, I cry when I leak because I’m so embarrassed. I stay at home so I don’t have to worry. I don’t leak every day but it comes on randomly so I never have any warning signs so as you can imagine my anxiety is high all the time. I struggle to go to sleep as I’m scared about leaking. I’m only 25 and it’s ruined me. I’m extremely suicidal because of this - I’ve contemplated killing myself many times. I’d rather not be on this earth. I know that might sound dramatic to some but I can’t take it.

My new doctor has said I can have Botox but I’m desperate to have it done NOW, I don’t want to have to wait any longer and it just seems like they’re taking their time.

Sorry I just needed to vent and connect with people who also have this as I feel very alone.

[gbeam]

Hi I am so sorry that you are feeling like this. I would like to send you a hug. I don't have any anwsers for you. Just keep talking about it as you are. Go back to your Drs let them know excacly how your feeling, they maybe able to push your appointment forward for BOTOX. I suffer with interstial cystitis which is sometimes called painful bladder syndrome. Mine is more about the pain. But I do understand how distressing all this can be. Don't ever be afraid to have a rant.

[Hidden in reply to gbeam]

I’m sorry you’re going through this and thank you 💓 I’m definitely going to try and push my Botox forward.

[Soreknees2016]

Can I ask whether you are on any medication for OB? I was initially prescribed Detrusitol, then switched to Solifenacin (because I suspected that Detrusitol was causing weight gain) and have had no problems since. Apologies if I’m over-simplifying your situation, but you don’t mention if you’ve tried any meds.

[Hidden in reply to Soreknees2016]

No apologies needed that’s my fault. I have tried medication the only thing I find is that they irritate my bladder more but I don’t know if that’s just a random thing? Every time I take a tablet for my bladder it makes me leak lol idk if it’s just my bladder being an ass or tablets can actually do that?

[Elliedp]

Hi Melrose. Yes, this bladder stuff is super sickening, embarrassing and depressing. At least I was in my late 40s when things kind of start going awry in your body, but I can almost imagine how you feel with these problems at 25. I'm sorry to hear. Nonetheless, you must accept yourself as it is right now, as hard as it may be. Being angr y, staying depressed, or trying to harm yourself or end you're life is not a solution.

Possibly change your perspective. I have this bladder problem. It's there, but I can still live--Just at a different pace and with some xtra steps I have to take. For instance, you can still go out and socialize with friends, but now you may need to wear pads/diapers, make more frequent trips to powder your face in bathroom (😁), drink less at functions, wear darker colors, carry body sprays, etc., etc. You get my point? Your life is not destroyed, just altered for a while. So, young lady, accept, regroup, be positive/hopeful, and remain proactive with docs toward a solution! Okay? Hang in there! Oh, one other adjustment--you'll need to buy larger handbags!!! 😁♥️👍 Live sweetie! Best.. !

[lucycornwall]

Hi, I know this is very late but let me just say, I’m 28, I have overactive bladder and severe ibs. I know exactly how you feel and you are absolutely not alone.

Two years ago I had a procedure to stretch my bladder and it made it a thousand times worse, after which I started having panic attacks and basically a full on mental breakdown. I had to take time off work and some days my family had to virtually drag me out of bed and my boyfriend was almost force feeding me. It was a horrendous time.

My point is, you are not alone and this was only a chapter of my life. Little by little I gradually got back to my life, small steps, I would walk around the village with my mum and feel a sense of achievement. I would drive 5 minutes and feel proud. Life is a timeline of ups and downs and this is (hopefully was by now) just one of the down periods. My boyfriend told me to draw it on paper representing the highs and lows and it really helped.

I suffer every day with my conditions and am having a flare up at the moment which is causing me so much anxiety, but after going to the darkest place previously I know that it will eventually pass again.

Message me if you’re still low, I know how hard it is being young and suffering with these horrible conditions, trying to make a life for yourself is hard. X