On a downer

[Jako999]

As most of you know my history is HT then 4x CABG then another HT all in the month of June and all out of the blue, I went through a big downer at the start now 5 months on I’m going through it again. I’m not feeling the anxiety a lot anymore but the reason is before this all happened I felt fine and now I have chest discomfort radiating into my back and neck sometimes and having to use GTN sometimes, I’m awaiting more tests again to see what’s happening. I realise I’m so so lucky, I’ve been told so many times it’s a miracle I’m alive.

I still can’t come to terms with what’s happened and what I’ve been through, I know I should be dead and I have a second chance. I know it’s still early days but I’m having a low again. I’m going to rehab 3 times a week and it’s really helping as is the councillor I’m seeing.

I know we have all been through the same and I was doing really well it’s just a giant roller coaster. I know I’m still doing ok but I just want to get the tests done and some answers. If the pains are here for sometime to come then so be it after all it’s better then being dead.

Thanks

[Carlg]

Firstly, well done for recognizing your feelings and the stage you are at. That in itself is a really big step as often we choose to just carry on.

It sounds like you are doing all the right things. Rehab and seeing a councilor

I've had a few down days during my recovery. Sometimes I've just owned it and had a day in bed watching trash tv. Others I've set myself some small goals that are manageable so I could have a sense of success. Other times I reached out to a good friend and organised something. Even just a walk or cup of tea. I have been really privileged to have a good few I can call on.

Remember you have been through a lot and you won't heal. Give yourself time. You are amazing

[Heyjude31]

Hi Jako999, just remember everything you have been through and it really is early days still for you. I am 14 months post 4xCABG and I know I should be very grateful and I am but some days it is so difficult. I get twinges and my anxiety goes through the roof. We are away at the moment but when I get home I am going to get checked out. I have not had an annual check up or a blood test check so I want to get it sorted. I am also type 1 Diabetic and I am due to see the consultant next month. The meds can play havoc with my blood sugar levels which also sends my anxiety up.

Like you I go to rehab and it is sooo helpful. I just want to feel normal again.

Please let us know how you get on with your tests and take good care. You have been through so much just remember how far you have come. Jude

[devonian186]

Jako

I have followed your posts closely over the months as I also had a four way bypass but a month earlier than you. I think that we rarely recognise the profound mental changes we have had to adjust to, whereby for example i feel less resilient and optimistic and able to cope or do new things than before and that naturally leads to greater anxiety, although fortunately i do not suffer from that anywhere nearly as bad as some on this board..

It is not helped by the time of the year. Endless rain, Short days, cold. None of this helped by the actions of our politicians, Ukraine, expensive power and possible power shortages etc. Thomas Hood expressed it well 200 years ago

No sun - no moon!

No morn - no noon -

No dawn - no dusk - no proper time of day.

No warmth, no cheerfulness, no healthful ease,

No comfortable feel in any member -

No shade, no shine, no butterflies, no bees,

No fruits, no flowers, no leaves, no birds! -

November!

There is a clinical term- SAD -for those that feel depressed or down due to the lack of sun and you will have seen adverts for lights that simulate natural daylight.

So, many of us are having a big downer at this time of year-even those who are otherwise fit and healthy. I don't know if you have a family, if so hopefully things will pick up as the excitement of Christmas starts, originally a Pagan festival to cheer everyone up at the most miserable time of the year!

Hopefully your tests will show there are no physical causes to your current state which will allow you to cope with the more subtle mental legacies

[MountainGoat52]

Hi Jako,

I am really sorry to hear that you are having a rough ride at the moment. Hopefully things will calm down and you will get the tests and a diagnosis of what is happening. None of us like not knowing the cause of our ills. In my case the local hospital even went as far as determining the cause of my heart attack and once I had that information, it was certainly much easier to rationalise the whole chain of events.

Sending you my best wishes for a quick resolution to the situation. Keep thinking those positive thoughts.

Gerald

P. S. I was surprised that you still have a GTN spray. Mine was stopped after my bypass op and I was told that it was no longer required (not as though I had used it during the time it had been prescribed). Obviously different protocols are in play in different hospitals.

[Hidden]

Hello

I felt for you reading your post for some of us and yes we are grateful but after we do feel like we are on one big roller coaster and we have this downers and when we do it feels so bad

Don't feel bad about it because it is just how it affects some of us

I hope these tests you are going to be having will resolve a lot of how you are feeling and let us know how you get on

But be reassured feeling down is normal and I hope soon you will be feeling back up again because you will do

A day at a time things will get better x