Hi all I’m 3 weeks post quadruple bypass which came out of the blue and was a total shock. Then last Tuesday it looks like I had a post surgery HT. The mental side kicked in from almost the start which is something I have never suffer with, I thought I’d be over it now but I’m still having tearful times and thinking why aren’t I dead or am I still going to die, am I ever going to get well again and so on, I’m still getting a lot of chest pains and because I felt so well before the surgery, I never had chest pains and never used GTN. I know it’s still early days so will these feelings go away over the next few weeks or should I ask for some counselling? I’ve been told it’s available and lots of people go through these feelings but should I ride it out or what? I know I’ve been through a major op but I have never felt like this even when I had cancer years ago I think it’s because I was told several times I was lucky to be alive and I was seriously I’ll and just hanging in there and so on, I’m medical and when someone says something like that it really means the end is close, I had no idea I was that I’ll the fact that I went straight from the angiogram to intensive coronary care scared me to start with.
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Jako999
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Simple answer is yes if talking to someone can help you with your feelings and emotions, you’ve been through and are going through so much I would not even begin to imagine what that feels like. Ask GP for referral maybe? Does cardiac rehab offer this support of a counsellor or if you can afford it source your own? But do talk to someone. Best wishes.
Dear Jako999
So sorry that you are suffering from these thoughts that haunt you.
but welcome to the “tug-of-war” of recovery and know that it is normal to think the way that you do.
This post is all about you and I am not really sure if telling you that I and many others have harboured theses thoughts and feelings, will help you in your current situation.
The main thing that I would like to get over to you is, that you are not alone, many on here can understand your journey and the emotional rolla coaster you have been riding { and still are }
What you have to remember, if you can, that normally your mind would balance things out, be that by just thoughts of reassurance and reasoning or screaming and shouting, a balance and plan of action is formed to “get over” that particular problem.
When something comes smashing into and then out of your life to be replaced with drugs etc to mop up its invasion, it takes a little bit away with it and you are left with a grief like feeling, that has to be addressed, when you are ready to do it.
You are ready because you have begun to recognise the demon that is visiting you, personally I would { and have } take any means to get rid of it so you can once again begin to live to the full.
Take care and please keep us informed, you , like a few others, are very brave to explain exactly what many go through, but are to afraid to voice it.
If you think it will help, then seek help but I wouldn’t rely upon GP referral as you will be waiting months/years. Start with cardiac rehab and if no help there try ringing the BHF to see if they offer a counselling service - many larger charities do. Otherwise I would look at local charity agencies who often offer low cost counselling.
You have a lot going on - your body has suffered major trauma and your thoughts are only just catching up so give yourself time, much, much more time. This idea that you ‘should’ be recovering is just a social myth which seems to prevail. I spent 20 years as a psychotherapist and saw many, many medics and first responders who were all great at helping others and not so great at helping themselves. Please, please get support. Seeking help is not a weakness, it’s a strength and we all need support when we feel vulnerable.
The BACP is the main professional body for counsellors so ensure whoever you see is properly qualified and has insurance if you go privately. Lots of info on the BACP site on how to find the sort of counsellor that would suit you and here is a link to their therapist directory bacp.co.uk/search/Therapists
Hi Jako999I had a very similar case to yourself, angiogram on 2nd Jan (happy new year) and quadruple bypass on the 16th Jan. When the cardiologist said to me (still strapped to the angiogram monitor) " you'll not be getting home today but be staying with us a while as you need a few bypasses". The shock set in almost immediately, unfortunately I had been suffering with depression on and off at the time and this news didn't add to my wellbeing. Did struggle to get over the mental side of things but the physical side just took a bit of effort (the walking, breathing etc) but 3 &1/2 yrs on i'm still here. I found it really hard to find someone professional to talk to via the NHS but luckily have a close friend who I can talk all sorts of crap to at any time and the talking does help 100%, worst thing I can do is keep it locked in and it soon gets to a spiral. So please find someone even if its just a close friend or family member and talk it out. Wishing you well on your recovery and future life. Take care.
Hi, when through the same at 55 and now 62 and doing very well. I found that the rehab gave me a lot of support especially fellow participants, we shared experiences and it was reassuring to know that the negative thoughts were not just unique to me.
That was my experience also. Angiogram to CABG x2 the following day. Massive shock and lots of tears. Now 7 years post surgery- still taking the tablets and still here. Life is good. Let yourself heal and get some counselling if you think it will help. I found the cardio rehab and meeting others who’d had same or similar expience really helped. Good luck☺️
My husband was like you with no symptoms and feeling well, then whammy a quadrupole bypass. The mental fears are perfectly normal. My husband would not see a counsellor and still has flashbacks 8 years later, they would probably call it ptsd. My thoughts are yes a counsellor can help and if you have the opportunity what’s to lose but Everyone copes differently my husband would not see a counsellor and his way is to see a cardiologist privately every 6 months for a checkup which gives him peace of mind. I would add the future is bright after bypass if you follow all the guidance you are given eat and exercise well etc, my husband was mixing concrete yesterday, not bad for 72
I’m having counselling now. Today’s appointment is my 4th. The thing here is where do you live? I’m in Wales I contacted the nhs numbers given to me by cardiac rehab ( same as gp’s) over 2 months ago and left a message on their answer phone ( no one ever answered it’s always answer phone) as instructed no one’s been interested or in touch. The answer phone does warn you how busy they are. So I’ve gone private. Looking around the cost varies I’ve seen between £40-£150 per session!!! Some do have a free introductory session to see if the fit is right between you.
I’m glad I’m doing it. I do feel it’s helping. But the fit between you needs to be right. I did have a free introductory session with one prior to the one I’m now with. The first one was definitely not for me. Life is too short. Go for it see if it’s for you.
Hi. I feel exactly the same after my 2nd open heart surgery. I’ve been referred to psychology for counselling and have my first appointment. The waiting list on the nhs was a couple of months where I live. When I had my assessment the dr said that I had ptsd symptoms. I can well believe it. Having heart surgery is traumatic and seems to leave the majority of us with health anxiety. I can’t tell you yet whether counselling will help but it’s got a much better chance of success than doing nothing at all. Perhaps you should ask to be referred.
Not remotely surprised you are in shock when something like that hits you out of the blue. Yes absolutely do get hat counselling. It's now well known that your frame of mind has a big impact on how well or quickly you recover. Good luck.
Hi Jacko, you must be miss-remembering how you felt before the diagnosis and op. Lots of us do, many on here say 'I was fit' 'never been poorly' 'came as a shock'...... me included. Before the diagnosis and treatment I'm certain we had warning signs, the odd weird pain, bolt of lightning, suspicious feelings, which because we are generally in good health, we convince ourselves there isn't anything serious till ...... boom! There was something wrong Jacko, why else were you having an angiogram 🤷♂️.
But none of that helps I'm afraid. Yiu are not alone feeling sad, fearful and tearful. I used to work with a group of counsellors, I highly reccomend them to you. All the counsellors I knew were very caring, totally discreet and very supportive. Give them a go, it can't hurt. You might get referred to IAPT (Introduction to psychotherapy treatment), this is low level support but does help. If you can afford it, once referred, try calling them and asking if they can see you privately. Good luck, and you will be here for a few more years yet 🤞🤞😂😂😂, that's my way of thinking 😊
Hi Jako999, as so many other hearties have said, everything you are experiencing is sadly very normal. I am 9 months for 4 x CABG and still get days of huge anxiety, but it does get better. The anxious days become fewer and the better days more often. I would highly recommend you speak with a counsellor, I find talking therapy does help. There are bound to be counsellors in your area, I guess it is trying to find the right one for you with good reviews. The cost as mentioned by another forum member does range, so it can be a bit trial and error. I do hope you get some support. Also if you haven’t already please join a Cardiac Rehab group if you can that has certainly helped me. The one thing I would say is be kind to yourself and take some time for you and don’t expect too much of yourself. Things will improve it just takes time. Take care, Judi
Thanks all for being so kind.I live in Halesowen in the West Midlands and my local hospital have action heart who have already been in touch with me about going on a rehab program. I called them today about getting some support and they said they will get a councillor to contact me hopefully this week.
Even though I don’t wish it upon any of you it been great hearing so many have been in the same place I don’t feel such a wimp or a failure just more normal. I was trying to help make the tea to day and everything fell out of the freezer I just burst into tears I’m a 55 year old man what is going on but I just felt like I couldn’t do it.
Talk therapy helps a lot to reduce your anxiety. It worked wonders for me. Search for a “heart ambassador”. They usually are available in big hospitals. Keep safe! Praying for your fast recovery
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