Struggling mentally.

[Nunk]

Hello everyone, I had my heart attack 4.1/2mths ago now, I needed 3 stents. Fast forward I’m doing great physically, exercising, eating well and rehab classes. The biggest problem I’m struggling with is anxiety and depression. I’ve been on 150mg Sertraline for many years and now also take all the usual heart medication. I was ok for the first couple of months but since going back to work on reduced hours and days plus lighter duties I’ve struggled. I can’t seem to come to terms with what’s happened to me. I’m constantly worried and anxious if somethings going to happen again and when. My wife is a brilliant support but I feel she doesn’t understand it because she hasn’t had a heart attack. If she knew I thought this I think she’d be hurt and that’s the last thing I want. Likewise with my work colleagues and friends I think the same. I’m getting the impression they’re thinking it’s nearly 5 months on that I should be moving on and getting back to “normal”. But what is normal, I don’t think I’ll ever feel normal again. Every time I doing something I’m thinking is it safe what I’m doing. I just sit, in particular when I’m on my own thinking what the future holds. I don’t know wether to speak to my doctor about how I’m feeling. I’ve been ok on the Sertraline for a long time, it’s just these thoughts I’m now getting all the time that are worrying. I’m trying to give up with Dr Google because I think that has a really negative impact on me. I’m sorry if you’re reading my post and are thinking “That’s made me feel down, I wish I’d never read it.” There’s so many wonderful and positive posts on here which I love reading but unfortunately can’t totally relate to. Is there anyone else feeling like I do or is it just me who needs to man up and be thankful for getting another chance when some are not so fortunate.

[Happyrosie]

I would say from looking at this site and elsewhere that your reaction isn’t too unusual. And I would also say that you do need help, and this could be in the form of Cognitive Behaviour Therapy.

Look up CBT on the NHS website to,gain an understanding of what it is. To access the therapy, I’d first start with your own doctors surgery. The surgery may employ a “social prescriber” who could point you in the right direction. Start with a chat to your docs receptionist and go from there.

Other posters might have a different viewpoint,

[Nunk in reply to Happyrosie]

Thank you Rosie.

[mits123]

Hi Nunk

When are you taking your sertraline?

I too am on this medication as well as all the heart meds. And like you have been on sertraline for a long time and it has worked well for me, however about a week ago felt all the old feelings of sadness and depression coming back as well as anxiety and panic attacks.

I know that a lot of helpful people advise on here that all these feelings are normal but no way did I want to go through all that again!

So got to thinking could it be one of the heart meds making my sertraline less affective, I used to take it with my evening meal but have been taking it with the evening meds since my ha, so went back to taking on its own again with my evening meal. This seems to be working better for me and the anxiety has stopped along with the sadness.

This might be an option for you but as always a chat with your GP or your local mental health team is best advice. Sertraline dose can go up to 200mgs so you still have some room to play with.

It is a new and strange world we have found ourselves in but I am positive that having over come mental health issues and surviving heart trauma you and the rest of us are strong enough to take on that world and work through our challenges

[Nunk in reply to mits123]

Hello Mits, you sound just like me. I was told to take my Sertraline with my evening meds. Maybe you’re right the meds are reducing the effects of Sertraline. It’s strange that we both started having those feelings again after a long time. I’ll have a word with my doctor, thanks again for sharing your thoughts.

[BeKind28-]

Hello

Don't ever think what you post will make someone feel down if we start reading a post and don't like it we can move on we do not have to keep reading but posts like this can be helpful to others that may not talk on here but are reading and possibly feel the same way as you do and a relief to be able to see they are not on their own

I had my Bypasses done over 2 years ago now and still cannot stop thinking about it every twinge sensation you name it I go into panic thinking something is going to happen

Some can have heart events and get on with life and not give it much thought others it can effect them where it becomes nearly their every thought but hopefully gets better in time

You have done really well and I wonder if going back to work even on reduced hours have brought back some fears as the mind can be a complex thing what triggers it of

Your antidepressants sound like they are not doing the job anymore which can and does happen maybe the dose needs changing or a different medication which I would say you need to make a appointment and let your Doctor know and I hope you will

I totally understand you feeling you need to keep away from your wife how you feel as you do not want to upset her but as a wife I would be more upset if later I found out my Husband had not told me and we do sense when there is something wrong and that can make us worry more especially when you say everything is fine yet we know it isn't

I am sure she would want to support you think about talking to her

As for everyone else that thinks you should be fine now they have possibly not been through what you have and even if they have they are not you and we are all different so just ignore them and what their opinions are

What is normal ?

I do not think anyone really knows the answer to that one but what felt normal to you may come back or it maybe that you have to learn to accept a new normal which one or the other will happen and which ever that is you can get used to it eventually in your own time

I am so pleased you have realised Google is not your friend in fact it can be your worst enemy so keep of it like you have realised you need to do that is a good choice

There are so many posts on here that I think I am not coping as well as they are , I am not doing as well as they are , I am not fit as they are but then I see the posts where people are struggling like me and think I am not alone and neither are you

You are a man to be able to admit how you feel takes a man to do so !

As far as Man Up you already have by opening up how you are feeling

Think about talking to your wife and maybe making a Doctors appointment and you are not alone

Let us know how you get on x

[Tos92]

Hi Nunk,

It was my second heart attack anniversary this month. To say that I still do not worry and I am not anxious 2 years later that I will have another would be a lie. It is perfectly normal to feel this way as others have said. However, you may benefit from some psychological input. Apart from cardiac rehab, which I’m not sure if you’ve received, there is something called Talking Therapies on the NHS which you can self-refer yourself to via the link below.

nhs.uk/service-search/menta...

All the best and this too, shall pass.

Tos

[Bluehope81]

Not medical advice, suggestions and opinions.

I would suggest rather than wallowing around, that the best course of action would be to do something about it to minimise your chances of it happening again. This is your plaque journey it's a tussle for your life literally, the goal is halting the plaque, hard strong plaque won't break off, or even reversal.

Assuming you've had the normal plaque type heart attack, get a CAC scan, CCA-IMT, and work out your anti plaque program.

You can read my previous posts on such things, or search the site for plaque reversal.

What has happened to you has not happened on or whim or a random event, you can change your path, but you have the desire to do so.

these will help you get your risk profile together:

mesa-nhlbi.org/MESACHDRisk/...

astrocharm.org/calculator-w...

[Nunk in reply to Bluehope81]

Thank you Bluehope, I’m doing everything I’ve been told to do and one of them certainly isn’t wallowing around. My cholestrol level is now normal, I’m eating healthily and regularly exercising. I can’t help how I’m feeling mentally, if I could then I wouldn’t feel the need to ask for help.

[BaronFrankenstein]

If its any consolation i feel the same. We have had a life changing experience but because its not visible, i.e. we havent lost a limb for example, people forget about it and how it affects you on a day to day basis.

You obviously dont want to go round reminding people or to feel you need special consideration but things are different for you.

Im going to have the same issues when i go back to work. People will think that ive been off too long as it is and that im getting unfair treatment. But thats just how dumb and selfish some people are. Its usually i find the people think that way who are the laziest at my work.

They also complain about being overworked and shout the loudest when it comes to the pay talks even though theyre least deserving of it. Id give em a pay cut

Ive had a word with my wife about how its easy to forget im not going to be quite the same again and i think i shall have to keep reminding her.

[Nunk in reply to BaronFrankenstein]

Thank you.

[JenWro]

Barron Frankenstein response resonates with me so much Nunk. It’s a life changing situation and believe me it’s not just wives who need to understand. Since my first hiccup I became afraid of being on my own and reduced fitness classes all because of anxiety. I was even called lazy since I refused to lift heavy loads now and then at home and external to home. I ask for help and it’s ignored so I have to manage some how on my own, which sometimes makes me very ill plus angry for putting up with it

I was even taken out of restorative yoga classes since there was a waiting list and I was not fully participating in the class at some parts due to stretches being too intense on the heart

I even purchased a disabled badge for the car which states …not all disabilities are visible just to stop people tutting and asking me what’s wrong when I parked in a disabled bay

When I ask for help generally in any settings I am either ignored, get an aggressive response, or get told I’m lazy. Does it bother me …. It use to …. But now I just think it’s their personality, their problem and obviously they are selfish since I have went out of the way in the past to help them.

Basically it’s a learning curve on human nature and the bonds of friendship I have learned that it doesn’t matter what you did to support local businesses and help people in the past they are only interested in the present and whether you are any use to them now. If not you are surplus to requirements.

But that’s their world, not mine and I’m not going to change but I am going to start looking after myself more and get back on my feet slowly ….. we all have to support each other. Sertraline was not working for me so I decreased the dose and now off them completely due to heart tablets but my dictirs never gave me anything else so all these comments have been very positive and educational to me. Thankyou Nunk for posting much appreciated

[devonian186]

Your condition isn't helped by the winter. I wonder if you have SAD, a medically known condition brought on by low light, long nights, cold temperatures, weather conditions, going out less etc.

It can be treated medically and some people buy SAD lights to boost light levels in the home.

[Pickerj]

I’m coming up to my first anniversary of my totally unexpected and unwelcome HA. Previously fit well and healthy.

I’d say what you’re experiencing is totally normal. It’s taken me this past year to try and come to terms with what happened. It completely turned my life on its head. The myriad of medications all play their part in how you feel and react. I’m back to exercising hard and have always eaten healthy so that’s not changed but still feel my life is on hold and hanging by a thread. It’s getting easier but has been compounded by the fact I’m unemployed which means I spend a lot of time on my own thinking.

People say you should make the most of your second chance but it’s not easy. Once the initial fuss dies down I found people think you’re fine and tend to leave you to it. There’s no doubt in my mind, and I think the posts on here support that, that the mental battle is far greater than the physical. I had a torrid time last weekend all because I had a Chinese takeaway on Friday night, the second one I’ve had in a year ! I’ve not got any magical words of wisdom for you other than use all the services you can such as the talking therapies who can sign post you if you need specialist help. It takes time, trial and error. Don’t be too hard on yourself either, you’ve gone through a major life event. I’m getting there slowly, and so will you but we’ll never eliminate completely those thoughts in the back of our heads. We just learn to acknowledge and control them.

Best wishes on your recovery journey

[BaronFrankenstein in reply to Pickerj]

I want to make some serious changes to my life but i can see it will be difficult to keep up the impetus and motivation to get those changes. I dont want things to go to exactly how they were before even if i can regain a good level of fitness. I only had my HA and stent a month ago by the way. Its early days for me but i need to keep in mind my goals now and not let them fall by the wayside.

[Smitty1956 in reply to Pickerj]

❤️ You stated it all so well!

[Jackdaw44]

I feel exactly the same as you.

Nobody really gets it unless they have been there and had a HA.

I’ve tried CBT twice, it seems to make a difference at first but as time passes the old thoughts creep back in again.

It’s a life changing event, I just wish people would try to understand how it not only effects you physically but also mentally. 😔

[Nikinromantic]

hi. I went exactly through same. Just forget it that you have put stents. Just lead normal life. Keep gym trainer, who is good in cardio. 15 minutes jogging 4 days a week. Enjoy your life 🥂🥂

[Smitty1956]

Hi, Nunk,

I had a HA almost two years ago—March 2022. Like you, I also have anxiety disorder. That can make things much more difficult.

On one hand, I think that your concerns are just normal. I was gobsmacked by having my HA. Looking back, I had high cholesterol, pre-diabetes, too much weight, and high blood pressure. I should have realized how dangerous my situation was, but, I guess, I chose not to see it. Plus, that day, I didn’t take my medications as I should have. At the emergency room, during the HA, the doctor asked me why I had not taken my medication. I told him that I had no real reason—-I just didn’t remember, or bother, to take my blood pressure meds. BUT, I still felt shocked and horrified at having the HA.

At the hospital afterward, not one doctor explained to me what exactly had happened, nor what I could expect in the next days, weeks or months. I wasn’t sure how to move forward. No one talked with me about the new meds that I needed to take. My life had changed completely, but no one told me what to expect. The hospital staff did sort out my medications by charting what I needed to take each morning and each night. That helped some. But no one talked with me about my diet and healthy eating I had to do a lot of reading. I knew that I needed to make changes, but I wasn’t sure how to start.

One of the hardest things was that family seemed to expect that I would be back to “normal” within a week, but, as you know, that isn’t reality. I felt like rubbish for literally months. My heart would race to 135 bpm from just getting out of bed and walking to my bathroom. I needed additional testing, office visits, changes/tweaks to medications, etc.

I was afraid to drive again for a long time. The first time that I drove after the HA was just a few blocks to have my car inspected. I had a panic attack while driving to the garage and waiting on my car. I felt weak and afraid all of the time.

Now, two years afterward, I have made some progress. I have lost 37 pounds, and I try to eat healthier. My cholesterol is much lower. I am currently trying to cut extra sugars from my diet, and trying to control my blood pressure. I like to say that I am a work in progress. Maybe you are too.

I also make some effort to control my anxiety and stress more. I believe that the constant anxiety can be very harmful to our health. If you are having issues in this area, you might want to consider cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT). It can help. Plus, there are breathing techniques and other strategies for dealing with anxiety.

I still worry some days about having another HA and other health concerns, but it has gotten some easier. You are still relatively new to all of this, so it is natural to be worried, but, hopefully, as you go along with things like healthy eating, adding in exercise, lowering your stress levels, and cholesterol, etc. , you will begin to feel stronger and better. It takes time, so try to be kind and gentle to yourself.

Best wishes! ❤️

[Nunk in reply to Smitty1956]

Hello Smitty, thank you for your very honest reply. It means such a lot when someone replies and tries to help, I can relate to so much of it, just like I can with most of the replies I’ve had. You seem to have progress amazingly well since your HA. Keep on going my friend and stay healthy and happy.

[Smitty1956 in reply to Nunk]

Thank you, Nunk!

Honestly, every day I try to be positive and hopeful. Plus, I learn a lot that helps me from everyone on this forum. That has been very helpful for me!

I set small goals for myself, and then try to meet them, but sometimes, I have to modify, or reset, my goals.

You sound like you are making good progress in your journey in getting stronger both physically and emotionally. It takes a lot of time and patience with yourself. Be kind to you and go at your comfortable pace. ❤️👍