Feel stuck in a worried rut!

[Heartfairy]

So it will be 6 months this week since my NSTEMI heart event and what a very difficult period it’s been emotionally. Having counselling through cardiac rehab OT. Some good days and some really awful days. Living in fear and still struggling to accept what’s happened but then when I think I’m ready to bounce back following the advice on the forum by some of “the regulars” bang!! I end up with the awful bug that continues to do its rounds. Completely wiped out, high heart rate (normally in the 60/70s) but went upto 112-124, I rang 111, ended up with a call from an out of hours GP who prescribed 180mg of Diltiazem (I normally take 120mg daily) to bring rate down but the new one was a brand I’d not taken before so was reluctant to try it so stayed on my original dose. Anyway just to say I’m feeling a bit better today, HR seems more normal so presume it was raised due to fighting the infection, but have had too much time lying here measuring my heart rate, worrying and wondering if my heart will be impacted again following “the bug” as I had it last year in June then had HA in October - scared I’ll end up with another event in another few months…..I’m just so scared, teary and a bit fragile. 111 said the bug can inflame the heart so obviously I’ve been a bit self obsessed with what’s going on inside! I know there are worse cases than me but no consolation at the moment - health issues just seem never ending at the moment. Day 6 in bed but going to get up shortly. All advice and suggestions welcomed - thank you. I don’t mean to bring the tone of spring down but I feel you’ve all been here ❤️🧚🏼‍♀️

[Hidden]

Hello

Sorry you have had a bug you are fighting of and yes when we are unwell and our bodies are trying to fight bugs it can raise our heart rate and BP but as yours is doing now as you are getting better it is starting to go back to normal

I am sure the virus will not have had an impact on your heart even though I know you will worry and anything negative said to you then you will focus on that and not the positives like you are slowly fighting the bug of but that is the nature when you are anxious and worried and what the mind does

I am glad you are getting some Counselling and things will slowly improve give it time take the good days and accept the not so good days knowing this will even itself out over time and is quite normal x

[Heartfairy in reply to Hidden]

Thank you BeKind - I knew you would send a quick response as you know what’s going on. I just feel life is a constant worry and I think the fact that it’s Easter and I’ve had to cancel all my plans I’m just feeling pretty low. Thanks for your kind words as always and hey tomorrow is another day….. ❤️🧚🏼‍♀️ xxx

[Hidden in reply to Heartfairy]

Hello

I know how you feel but even before my heart issues I worried but I know that feeling to well worrying all day every day and it really does drag you down but for you it will improve don't be hard on yourself give yourself time

If this was someone you knew think what you would tell them and try and tell yourself that

If it helps any not that I had any plans but still would have liked to enjoy Easter a little bit I have ended up with a sinus infection and on antibiotics feeling lousy and I just try and have to tell myself it is life and these things come to try us and don't they just do that !

You are going to be fine be kind to yourself x

[Heyjude31 in reply to Heartfairy]

Hello Heartfairy, I am so sorry you are poorly and feeling down. It will pass, it is still early days for you and we have to be kind and patient with ourselves. Just to say I hope you feel better soon. I was in hospital with an infection a few weeks ago, because I could not eat or drink anything without being sick which sent my blood sugars levels all over the place. Thankfully with antibiotics and lots of fluids I was soon on the mend. I hope the sunshine’s where you are, lots of April showers at the moment! Take good care, try and distract yourself and not overthink too much. Get better soon, Judi

[Heartfairy in reply to Heyjude31]

Thanks you Judi, I’m sorry you were admitted into hospital with an infection and I hope you’ve made a full recovery now. Mines the old “c” virus we can’t mention and it’s got me yet again. I do worry about the long term impact on my heart as last time I got it in June last year, I had a HA in October and was told that the virus can inflame the heart which scares me and whilst lying in bed I’ve too much time to think about the consequences. I’m sure once I’m better I’ll overcome these feelings but at the moment I’m just feeling rubbish. Enough said…..I think you get the gist. Thanks again though for your understanding ❤️🧚🏼‍♀️ xxx

[Heyjude31 in reply to Heartfairy]

Of course, please make sure you stay hydrated and eat a little if you can and rest xx

[Czech_Mate]

Progress along our journeys seems a bit like the progress of spring. It shows promise then takes a step or two backwards. I hope that getting up today is a positive step for you. Here it was showery yesterday but bright and sunny today, although it's not really warm yet. Every day something new to see. I don't feel so great today, but it's the only one I've got. I'm going to have a lie down and have another go at it later.

Take care.

[Anon2023]

hi. I can completely empathise with how you feel. I have ptsd from my experiences and it’s such a struggle to live with it. Just try to get through one day at a time but set yourself some future events so that you have things to look forward to. If you can. Sending you best wishes. Xx

[Heartfairy]

Thank you so much for all your kind words of support everyone who has replied so far. You never let me down and I know it’s difficult for a lot of us. It is life and when it’s good it’s great but when it feels rubbish it feels like the end of the world - I’m sure it’s temporary and things will improve but I just wish it would hurry up! As you can tell I’m not a patient patient 🤣! Thank you again everyone - I really really appreciate it ❤️🧚🏼‍♀️ xxx

[Callie456]

I feel for you, and I feel it too. I feel like the emotional effects are more difficult to get through than the initial physical limitations. It feels like an emotional roller coaster for sure, especially when more things keep happening and it feels never ending.Take things slowly, and if you can sit outside for a bit, or a nice sunny spot looking out the window, admiring the wonders of nature can often help us feel a little better.

Thinking of you xxx

[Heartfairy in reply to Callie456]

Thank you Callie456 for your support. Although it’s not nice, it’s a consolation to know I’m not the only one who ever feels the way I feel right now. I will continue to look out of the window as I’ve just got no energy at all to get dressed and go out even to the garden. The dreaded “c” virus has got me yet again!! Hopefully it will pass in a few more days but like I said, I do worry about the impact it has on the heart in the long term. Thank you though for your kind words and understanding ❤️🧚🏼‍♀️ xxx

[Callie456 in reply to Heartfairy]

I really hope the virus passes soon for you, without leaving lasting effects, the not knowing part is always hard.I think getting dressed can be over rated when you're sick, so you stay nice and comfy and warm just as you are 🌞 and know you're not alone.

[Heartfairy in reply to Callie456]

Thank you so much ❤️🧚🏼‍♀️ xxx

[MummaSoap]

Hi Heartfairy

Firstly, please don’t apologise, it’s ok not to feel ok and actually I would like to say well done for having the courage to share how you’re feeling after acknowledging this yourself.

I’m sorry that you haven’t been feeling well but I think your reaction is justified given your previous experience. Having said that, just because that has happened in the past, doesn’t mean it’s guaranteed to happen again but it’s really important that you find ways of dealing with and managing your stress levels as that won’t help your heart either.

The best piece of advice I can give you is be kind to yourself and give yourself the grace to process everything. There’s no specific time frame that you need to do it within and how we feel is relevant to each individual’s experiences throughout their life.

Once you’re feeling up to it, maybe a nice gentle stroll near some moving water might help - I always find it to be very soothing!

Keep us posted with how you’re getting on!

Best wishes

Soap 🧼

[Heartfairy in reply to MummaSoap]

Oh Soap - thank you! Thank you for understanding. It’s tough sometimes and you’re right what happened last year may or may not ever happen again, hopefully it won’t. I just feel I’m living in a constant fear. I feel old before my time and feel I’ve turned into some kind of pathetic person which I never envisaged. Perhaps the infection is making me feel lower than normal and once i recover from this I’ll feel a bit stronger. You’re right, as soon as I’ve got the energy I’ll be out of this bed, dressed and enjoying spring. Thank you again for your kind words of encouragement ❤️🧚🏼‍♀️ xxx