Am struggling to regain myself following CABGx3 in February Am struggling to recover and feel myself again. I thought going back to work would help both mentally and physically, so started a phased return, 2 days a week to start. Last week my manager was off. But went back and it was like having a big comfortable hug and I felt valued and loved. Then this week manager came back and she won’t let me do my job, she wants me to sit in her office doing her paperwork. I tried to explain to her I needed the exercise and the interaction with patients and colleagues but she won’t have none of it , she told me it was admin or I go sick again. It felt so good to be back to work last week and now I feel totally pointless. I am really wishing I had not had surgery and took my chances without it as nothing has really changed for me, I just have more pain and less mobility
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Have you got anymore follow ups post CABG? You should discuss the pain with them and less mobility that you feel you have. I believe it is common to have some ongoing pain after a CABG but those that have experienced this will tell you more I’m sure.
As for your work, do you think you’ve been given admin as they think that could be more appropriate for you on a phased return instead of giving a lot to do all at once?
I’m already doing a phased return 2 days of 6hrs. Did it last week and everything was good. Manager comes back and she won’t let me do my job. I know I have some limitations and there are things I can’t do but there is also things I can. I believe she wants someone to do her admin for her and she has seen this as an opportunity. My job is very much hands on. And as for ongoing pain I know this but didn’t have much pain before surgery so I know many people are happy to have their life but I do not feel like this.
She says what happens if one of the patients collapses I wouldn’t be able to do anything which is silly I’m in the room with the patient and a very capable doctor if anything happened he/she would jump on the patients chest and I would go call the resus team and trolley and apply the defib so this is what would happen if I wasn’t unwell
As for the pain I just take paracetamol anything else spaces me out too much The pain, worsening neuropathy pain, worse since the surgery is eased by me moving. Sit down for too long and I look like I’ve had an accident 💩 when I get up😂
believe me the chance of me actually collapsing is very slim and if you knew her you would know what sort of manager she was. She sits in her office and says things like “ I don’t think I’ll do any work today” and when she is supposed to be doing a zoom learning session she will mute the computer and go and make tea and get other staff to do her e-learning for her. She has had complaints but management stick together
Have you got an occupational health or workplace a assessor that you can contact to discuss this . They often advise the Manager then about what jobs you should be a allowed to do .More often than not you ask for their help so you can reduce duties and stay in work , but I certainly know a lot of people with disabilities whom have had them come to explain that they can and should be allowed and helped to do more active duties if they were kept doing the paperwork.
If you haven't got a occupational advisor within the company you can contact DWP for one of there work place assessors to come out , if they've already done an assessment they are usually happy to come out and do a follow up and instruct managers if things don't feel right for you.
Hope your return to work gets smoother soon. Sometimes people at work don't intend to make you feel bad but they often need more guidance and reassurance that people with health issues will be ok if they ask them to do more things,
had OH assesment but only over the telephone they were happy for me to do most of my job with just a few adjustments ie. No dressing or minor procedure clinic, and no carrying piles of notes. But she has overridden this as it’s only advisory. Have had email conversation this afternoon. I am taking next week off so I don’t have to worry about the train strikes and then she has agreed to reassess on the following Monday. Still think it will mean admin but at least it’s a start. After having input on here have calmed down a bit and I am feeling a bit more positive
CABG has a link with depression.With depression you don't think straight.What would the 'normal' you think of this (The work part not your health condition).
Well you wouldn't be happy with your boss.Even though by implication you may work in a clinical setting (Hospital?) your boss i suspect is not a doctor but seems to have her own strong medical opinions.
She's telling you and probably everyone else that's she's doing what's right for you, which makes it even more annoying.But i think you need to put up with it and put on a brave face.
my manager is a nurse who doesn’t actually understand how I feel or I think the surgery I’ve had and I would of thought she would be more empathetic. She is telling me that she is doing it for me but she has no idea and is not listening to me. The rest of the staff are just lovely but If I’m stuck in her office sitting around all day not getting the exercise and social interaction I need
You really are NOT pointless ,but you are obviously feeling very down, and frustrated with feeling ill, a slow recovery, and a monster of a manager. That is very understandable and also very sad, and I do hope that things will improve for you soon in all spheres of MH, work and physical recovery.I wonder if there is a member of HR that you can speak to to mediate between you and your manager? Also if you can stress the fact that you have Dr's orders to move exercise frequently but gently and say that she needs to make allowances for this to occur?
Your reference to missing last week's interaction with colleagues and patients make me think that while you've been ill and recovering to-date you've maybe got a little lonely as well as down. Could you arrange to meet colleagues at lunchtime or after work so that you still get some of their input to help to cheer you, if she keeps you away from the normal interractions of your job?
Also i'm assuming that it will take you some time to recover fully from your operations / treatments, and wanted to remind you that you need to be kind to yourself, and also very patient with yourself.
I do hope that somone else on the forum who has had similar operations / treatments will rush up soon with some ideas about how you might speed up your recover and get you back on track to feeling better.
Hang on in there - take one day at a time - all will be well eventually. And never ever ever consider yourself pointless. The reaction you had from colleagues and patients last week is great evidence that you are not! You have lots and lots to offer this world and there will come a day when you feel both brighter and better / well again.
I have stressed to her that I need to move and have some social interaction but she is not listening. And it is Sad because she is a nurse who you would think would have a bit more empathy. I am struggling with my mental well being at the moment but last week it was so nice I felt I was making progress physically and emotionally. Think she is worried I’m gonna drop down dead or put a patient at risk which is really stupid as I am always surrounded with medical professionals.
Yes she may be worried about if you are well enough to do the job, accidents and insurances and the like, but she ought to be able to make some compromise in not tying you to the desk all day. Is there anyone over her who might listen? I know it's hard when your mental health / wellbeing needs assistance so do try and look after yourself as much as possible.
Maybe try a relaxation cd or journelling or similar too? There are some self referral schemes on the NHS fir talking therapies but unfirtunately it's so often a very long wait.
Management stick together. One of my colleagues 30+years with the company, complained about the manager and the senior management all closed rank on her. Much as I need to be back am considering going sick again although it doesn’t actually solve anything. Just want everything to be normal again. Life is so frustrating at the moment am fed up of always having to fight.
I have had an assesment over the phone with OH and have the report and it was sent to my manager. They asked me what I thought I wouldn’t be able to do and suggested the phased return and a time scale. But she has to do a risk assessment and she considers me a risk which I am not but OH is just advisory so they don’t have to act on it. My cardiologist said I could go back, my GP is happy for me to go back so I don’t know what her problem is. The walking around at work last week really made me feel physically and mentally so much better
I would treat them with respect, give them encouragement and tell them to give things time. Trouble is I also see the patients who make remarkable recoveries and thought I would be one of them
Thank you for your kind words but I can’t sit in her office doing her admin for weeks. I’m hands on that’s why I chose the job I do. I have been doing it for 40years and could have been in her position but I like being with my patients and not admin. I don’t know what to do it’s dragging me down. I am capable of doing aspects of my job so why won’t she let me I know my limits
go sick again and while your off go and volunteer as a visitor with age concern, nursing home, or something similar, it sounds like your a very caring person and need human contact very much like myself and you would be doing a grand service for others and yourself, I would if I was fit, I also had bypass and regret it to this day, do what you need and want and don’t let the b****r/s get you down, most likely get criticised for this post but hey ho
it’s so good to hear from someone who feels the same if not a popular view point but I wish I had not had this surgery. Quality over quantity. I think your idea is a good one and will let ok into it I just need some income so the bills a can be paid. Am behind after 5 months off just another stress to add to the many. Thank you
only SSP they only pay 1 month full pay only been with the company 18 months feel I’ve been off sick more than I’ve been there. I was quite healthy when I started😏 and yes it’s a worry hubby working but I earn more than him
As you have been at your employer less than 2 years I cannot stress enough that you need to comply with your manager.
HR will have a legal framework for retuning staff to work, deviate from it and you have broke your side of the contract. Don’t do that, don’t make it easy for them! Try to consider the whole picture not your viewpoint.
I am actually a nurse, orthopaedics my speciality, although where I work lots of different specialities. I am seeing my GP Tuesday so hopefully he might help with writing something for me. I’ll have to get all my doctors to band together and put my case😂 they were all so happy to see me last week but it’s awkward as she is the manager
I replied earlier and said you had to put up with it.
I've had managers who've used health and safety to run things how they want.I don't think you can win on this.If you settle down and just do it i think that would be most effective.
It sounds like she enjoys dominating people and finding justifications and even enjoying the plaudits of being so considerate-plus doing her admin might make her life easier even if it's misery for you.Some people pretend to be nice but they are not really.
This is what life is like.It is not always fair.But i say go to work and get through this.Do not make any rash decisions.She might want to drive you out.Whether that's true or not you need to find the motivation to dig in.-easy for me to say i know-.
Just to add if that seems a bit black and white that i am a man and we are useless at giving advise anyway, but as a bloke i'd tough it out and be wary of the fact i might be depressed.Not going to work makes depression worse.
yes but going to work to do something you hate also makes depression worse. She is also a nurse so you would think she would be more aware and empathetic
Hello Truffles2. I think this is yet another example of Health and Safety being taken too literally. Were you ever involved in the 'return to work' risk assessments? If not, I'd ask this lovely nurse to review the assessment with you (and probably the HR team) as you're concerned you're not moving around (detrimental to health and wellbeing). Litigation is always at the back of managers' minds. You'll find your consultant and/or doctor will not commit to saying you are fit to do the things you want to! The risk assessment is not their problem.
Hope you get on OK. I've been in the same position as you (and I was the Health and Safety Manager 😂😂)!! Lots of love and hugs. Jan xxxxxxxxxxxx
Didn’t have any say in the risk assessment although I tried it was this is how it is we are protecting you, they are not they are as you say being over cautious for themselves. Also my Cardiologist actually works in my department I don’t see him at work cause he works evenings and I work days but makes it awkward. Mmmm You have given me an idea I could go and see the H&S manager who I need to see as believe it or not the H&S audit is one of my jobs. Why did I not think of this earlier
I didn't have a heart issue at the time I was 'risk assessed' before coming back to work. I had spine surgery and a 'terminal cancer' diagnosis in 2007!!
Anyway, like you, going back to work was more of a mental health issue - just to keep me sane!!
Human Resources Googled a risk assessment and were a bit embarrassed when I challenged it! Anyway, as a Health and Safety Manager myself, I was able to re-write the assessment (subject to review by HR) and eventually got back into working normally (with the exception of running around building sites!🤣). I hope things improve for you. Lots of love and hugs. Jan xxxx
that must be tough having a diagnosis like that. Are you well at the moment ? My daughter actually has as one of her university courses a H&S certificate but I think it’s more to do with electrics and crowd control( she works in events) but the principle of writing one must be the same I might just ask her. Big Hugs and love back at ya
Hi Truffles. Well, radical chemo and radiotherapy blasted the grapefruit sized tumour out!! A routine scan a couple of months ago found a tiny nodule thingy at the bottom of my lung! I had it taken out 10 days ago (benign) so am currently recovering!!!
I was H &S Manager for Education so anything with children of all ages and children's homes etc. Crowd control was very much a part of playground assessments!!!
The lady who completed the assessment should have put control measures in place to for activities (not filing!!!) to make sure you are as safe as you can be. The assessments can be revisited and changed at any time. Hope all goes well. Love and hugs. Jan xxx
it’s good to hear your health is good now and that your latest nodule was benign.
I am having next week off as AL as train strikes all week and then she has agreed to reassess. In the meantime I will speak to a few people, take some advice that people have put on here and go armed with a response that is not so emotional. If she doesn’t budge I will grin and bare it but will insist on a weekly review.
Thanks so much for thinking about me. Really appreciated.
I guess the risk assessment for filing covered things like 'paper cuts'!!😂😂. There should be safe work instructions for various jobs in place already for everyone. These just need a bit of creative thinking to accommodate your present health status and as you recover more and more, weekly assessments are a good idea. Throw the term dynamic risk assessment about (that used to confuse managers!😂).
I’m sure she probably does want to get me out but I can’t just put up with it I am a nurse not administrator and I’m not prepared to make her life easier if is wasn’t for this bloody operation and heart issues I could go and get a job anywhere I wanted so she has me over a barrel but I will not lay down and take it
Medically we have a lot in common.I think i would have done better without my bypass.Everyone said they must know what they are doing and they wouldn't do it if you didn't need it.I have a narrowed left main and blocked LAD.They did a double with the two Mammaries, one over to the right where i had no block and the other to the LAD but mid when the blockage was distal.So i think even though i am not a doctor what was the point of that?
Anyway i'm fine.I'm very fit and i go to work, but that op as you know is like being hit by a bus.
Back to my mans view of the situation;
From her point of view she is probably saying that she is a team member down because you can't do the things she would like you to do (even though she is the one preventing you) and she is the victim.In these situations you have to avoid getting into a battle.If she thinks you are trying to contradict her in any way she will double down.I would not necessarily trust your work colleagues either, be careful what you say in terms of what might be looked on as moaning- these things get back.
In my own case sometimes i hate my job, it is physical and very hard.But in the run up to my tests and ops (Angiogram bypass etc) what i kept thinking was that a lot of people in the graveyard would give anything for my crappy job and even if it was only for a day would love to swap.Imagine if i was where they are lusting after my old life and thinking what an idiot i was for ever despising it!
I've never been depressed, and although life has trapped me a few times such as dead end jobs that i couldn't afford to leave, and a bad marriage where she was unfaithful and eventually left me and various other life failures. i have also been very lucky.
I successfully remarried.We have a lot of holidays. There are no money worries.
Before this bloody operation I was never depressed either. I thought I was robust. I used to empathise with people and try and understand their situations and treated them with great patients but never truly did I understand. I even lost my eldest Son when he was just 16 and although life was really hard at that time and my life changed, in ways unless you’ve lived it you wouldn’t understand , I never felt the way I do now. I just want to feel normal and going back to work I thought was the start of that getting back to myself again. But going back to just sit in her office and do her bidding will just destroy me. You are amazing and have obviously been through a lot and come through the other side. I hope I have the strength.
If you needed 3 bypasses then things needed urgent attention, taking a couple of meds wouldnt have solved it. Last May before my 4 bypasses I asked the surgeon if there were any alternatives. he said "sure but they are all stupid."
You did the right thing but you need to keep busy and feel you have a purpose as otherwise you will just mope and be anxious.
The anxiety of health problems seems to have been lost on this forum, whereby those who were positive or told jokes which raised our spirits have been banned. It's not all about mediciones or taking exercise but looking after the mind as well as the body
It’s hard accepting that you have lost some control. It’s small steps as you know but the best you can do for now is like Bekind says and get a letter confirming 2 days of your normal work is supporting you on the road to recovery.
Tell your GP that not doing your usual job is effecting your mental health. I was a nurse and can tell it will if your anger at the change your boss insists on continues. She sounds a caring person wanting the best for you.
if she was a caring person she would be listening to me. I think this is the only place people really listen. Sometimes it’s not about prolonging life it’s quality
Sounds like your job will terminate not because of your health but because of your relationship.Don’t let this happen . You will be able to return to your usual job taking these small steps and getting the support of your medical team.
Stay strong . It’s not easy but your anger may affect your health and that would be a step back. Small steps forward and you will get there💕
All the above! Think positive and plan to interact and exercise (in moderation) on the days you are not currently working, make good use of them and enjoy yourself through the summer.
You mentioned 40 years at work in a previous post, your life will change in the mit so distant future as you head to retirement, use this time now as a taster - what’s the worst that can happen?
I have a good friend who I usually meet with every week but haven’t for the last 3-4 wks as her Sons been home from Japan so next week hopefully we become ladies wot lunch not mcds though
That sounds like a plan! I’ve been in your shoes (phased return with unreaked duties) and two years later and countless HR missteps I’m glad I did as things bay have been different employment wise!
Sorry you’re feeling this way. I would imagine this is being done as a health & safety/insurance point of view. They are fulfilling their duty of care to manage your return appropriately in order to also monitor your progress capabilities. At the end of the day she is the manager & if anything goes wrong it lies with her. If something happened to you or anyone else she maybe seen as having rushed you back to work then it’s her neck on the line. I can see your points and she probably can, maybe the way she communicates this isn’t coming across right. Maybe ask for a review with her then things can be discussed fully. Does she need a consultant letter that now states your capabilities - that then absolves her from the decision making. You have been through big surgery, allow it to heal & allow your mental health to & physical health to be cared for not only by others but by you too. Remember the saying “slowly slowly catchy monkey” or the tortoise & the hare story! Be kind to yourself, your manager may think she’s giving you the hug you need. Well done for getting back to work, without the surgery you may not even be in her office! Here’s a big virtual hug 🤗- you’ll get there
If you have to ‘do some time’ doing admin to satisfy the manager’s zealous approach then maybe you could tell her you will have to get up and walk around the building twice every hour(or similar as works for you) as sitting for any long period does not help you at all.
This would hopefully show her that you are perfectly ok to be moving around doing more physically involved work without clashing head on with her and making the situation worse.
It sounds like the staged return to work is more for her benefit than yours but maybe for a few weeks you could roll with it and then you would have demonstrated that’s she’s being too cautious.
Don't every apologise for being a bit fed up. Remember it gives the rest of us a reason to log in and perhaps feel useful. Let's face it for some of us that is a rare experience when just coping with our own conditions can be so all- encompassing. Thank you for your post.
Hi Truffles,sorry that you are feeling low.Its still early days and it’s great you have your job to go back to.Your manager is just protecting you and if it was the opposite it could be much worse. I know how it feels to be stopped from doing your job.During the pandemic they went from one extreme to the other with me.
I’m waiting for a valve replacement and staff health sent a letter so they wouldn’t send me into high risk areas.They gave me housekeeping duties and some administrative duties. I really missed my job.
They will let you fo your normal job soon.You could ask occupational health to back you up if you feel well enough to fo it.
Sorry to hear it. I had a CABG x4 in 2017. The post-op pain was so bad at one point I went to A&E. The three saphenous veins they used failed by June of this year. I had two PCIs two weeks ago and now have six stents. One PCI was very rough. I’m on six medications and I was one of those individuals that deplored medication and sought to avoid them all my life. My future seems bleak and my anxiety levels were / are very high. But I have come to realise that low moods come in cycles and when we’re down (as no doubt everyone on this forum has been at some point due to their condition) it helps to (1) stand back and understand that moods can and will lift, so realise that the cycle turns and look forward to it, (2) heart disease and pain can be managed, and (3) look at our situation on a relative basis - relative to others who are worse off in many other respects. I too can’t continue to work as I did previously. I’m having to reevaluate my future one step at a time. As for your administrator, the question is how best to approach the conflicting interests. Avoiding the stress of a fight is most important. A discussion that explores options that work for both parties is more constructive. It will take time, I hope this helps.
I have tried to negotiate and she just says no. it’s the no patient contact at all not even giving advice over the phone that is killing me. And I know there are so many people out there worse off than me I see it everyday in my job. I think this all has just come as such a big shock and the enormity of it is just beginning to sink in when they use words like heart failure and you would of been dead and they actually put it in a letter so it’s there in black and white
The suggestion of put up and shut up is so black and white that it's archaic... thankfully in the 21st century women and employees do have a bit more of a say in how they are managed in their careers...
You've obviously tried to talk this through with your manager and gotten nowhere.
You're going to see your GP who will hopefully write something up for you... hopefully this will give you something to go back to occupational health/HR with to have your duties set out in a reasonable way. Be sure to include comments from your manager like 'no admin no work'.
If they don't take medical advice on-board, you have the option of contacting ACAS for free, impartial legal advice.
The other option would be just to take the sick leave and go do something you enjoy.
good advice am beginning to feel a bit calmer and am re-evaluating my work I wish I was in a position not to work. My mum had CABG 30+ years ago she is now 91 but she was retired and said she had none of this stress
If it’s any help after my triple bypass for some time I could not reach the top shelf of the kitchen cupboard . Now I can do it without a problem. There is a spot on my daily walks before my bypass where the pain started and I had to slow down. Post bypass I can pass that spot without pain. However it takes time and I had breathless issues for sometime after sorting my new body out. I don’t know if you had access to the post op exercise group which sadly closed due to covid. I was lucky and managed to get on the program. They were wonderful and monitored the group weekly and sometimes held meetings so that people could discuss any problems. I don’t know if they have returned now. I know what you mean when you say you wish you hadn’t had the op. I feel that sometimes but it passes . There are so many people on this site who can testify that it really was worth it .
hi. I used to be a volunteer at the hospital the eye clinic when the pandemic came the nhs cleared the volunteers at the hospital but when I was there I noticed that when the nurses or the Health care assistant in green went of sick when they returned they told to do admin in Office till they could resume their full duties. The manager might not be pleasant to you but I think this is NHS doing this not her personally. If you enjoy your work which I think you do then stick with it as my experience when I worked there the nurses soon resumed their duties take care
I had a double cabg in January of this year and I have to say the emotional recovery has been really difficult, and still is!! I am very lucky that my physical recovery had been really quite ok considering the operation I've had!! It's a lot to take in!! I wasn't given any information at all on discharge, so really didn't know what to expect. I dont know about other hospitals in the UK? Mine gave nothing at all. I've had to learn as I go along. It has taken me 6 months to feel comfortable in bed!! I still dont sleep the way I used to. My cardiologist said the 6 month mark then the year mark is when you really start noticing a difference. I'm lucky that I am self employed and have always worked from home ( as a private counsellor) Are you a nurse? I'm guessing you must have had some kind of gradual re introduction to work? If your boss was off was someone else responsible for your health and wellbeing, and capability of resuming your duties?? Without knowing the background it's difficult to understand what has gone on? It sounds to me as if you were enjoying your job until your boss advised that you had to do something different? When you say you have more pain and less mobility, is this something you can explain a wee bit more if that's OK? Maybe your boss saw this and wanted you to do admin? ? What does your job entail? Are you on your feet a lot? Could tou sit with your boss and tell him/her how you feel? I'm sure something could be sorted out. I really hope so ad it sounds as if you really enjoy your job.
Yes I am a nurse but also a terrible patient. My surgeon dismissed me at 4 wks and my Cardiologist dismissed me at 6 weeks and this was privately as I have health insurance through work. I think they think I should know it all and have done a lot of research but at the end of the day my specialty is orthopaedic not cardiology. It’s quite a small hospital so no no one took charge of me until she came back when I tried to talk to her manager she told me to talk to Vikki when she gets back. It was only a week. I did talk to OH who said I was OK to go back and we discussed my duties and what I could and couldn’t do. But I’m told this is only advisory so my manager has dismissed most of this. I am on a phased return starting with 2 x 6hr shifts a week. Before surgery I had chest pain and breathlessness and I was restricted in what I did but I was still talking to patients. This is the best part of my job and I love it. Now I am still a little breathless and since surgery I do have some sternum pain and where they took the vein from my leg my foot swells and makes neuropathy in my feet and legs more painful but walking helps this. I have sat with my boss and explained how I feel but she is not listening it’s admin or nothing. I could sit at the nurses station where I can have some patient contact answering the phone and making appointments liaising with other departments and being apart of the hustle and bustle. I would not be on my own and I don’t think this is unreasonable. I do really enjoy my job and was so looking forward so some normality and working with my colleagues
Hi again,I've just read all the replies relating to your post. I won't mention what hospitals I was in but what I will say is that I was kept in for 15 days so plenty time to really see for myself the difference between good managers and bad managers, and of the impact it made on staff moral!! Even patient moral if im being honest!! I think it depends why you have had to have a bypass!! I know more about my heart now than I ever did or wanted to!! It's a last resort for surgeons as it is such a major operation fraught with so many risks. My surgeon told me I needed it and gave me the reasons why!! I already knew and actually asked if I could have a bypass!! It has been the best thing that has ever happened to me health wise and my quality of life is so much better, but I know that may not be the same for others. Bypasses are generally done to save the patient and prolong their lives, and hopefully give them a better quality of life. I have struggled massively with health anxiety and have had to have counselling even though I am a counsellor!! It's getting better but still there. Was your bypass done as there was no alternative? Or could you have managed your condition with medication? There is no doubt that this operation changes you forever!! You are more aware of your own mortality that's for sure!! I've been through an almost grieving process where I mourned my previous life!! I struggled to come to terms with and accept this new one!! I went through the poor me phase and the pity party too!! Eventually I got ro a place where I was just so bloody grateful to be alive. I also have a mobility problem which I've had for years. Yes there are things I can't do, but there are things I can do too!! Life is so precious and life is for living. Be kind to yourself, take your time. Its frustrating, but it's baby steps all the way. You will get there I promise you!! It just takes time.
I was told I needed the bypass because my LAD was too clogged in the wrong place as well as the right side being severely clogged they didn’t give me% to be able to stent and was told if I didn’t have it I would probably die sometime in the not too distant future. Funny thing is I was able to go private because of insurance for investigations where this was discovered. If I hadn’t and had had to wait for the NHS I would have probably still be waiting for investigations or be dead. I know I should be grateful but just at the moment this is not how I feel. I am struggling to accept the way things are. It is encouraging to hear you have been through all these emotions and come out the other side thank you
Hi Truffles 2Just wanted to check in again to say I hope that you are feeling a little better and brighter and looking forward to the weekend.
I see you've had lots of responses and I hope that some of them have been helpful to you.
Remember to be patient with yourself as it will take time to resolve your mental well being, but be assured it will go ... depression is like a black cloud that gradually turns through all lighter shades of grey, then into white, before it eventually fades away. You are in our thoughts.
I am feeling a bit better thank you. You have a lovely way of describing depression. I think I’m grey at the moment but the really dark clouds have passed over for now
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bit of a scare
I want to say sorry from the medical profession 
Could it be angina? Or endocarditis? Or in my head? This is a long post sorry!
Just need to talk to someone that might understand. Sorry about the long story
Feeling a bit frightened
