Feeling so scared: I just came out of... - British Heart Fou...

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Feeling so scared

Sootycat profile image
110 Replies

I just came out of hospital 2 weeks ago. I had a ''massive'' heart attack the nurse said which spooked me a bit. Because of where we live I got taken to 3 hospitals in one day. I am a retired nurse of 22 years ago and should know better but I am so scared and frightened. Usually I am in control. Had 19 dvt and 3 Pe with familial clotting so not had an easy time, plus asthma and allergies. But this MI has terrified me. I had 3 branches cleared and 2 stents. Before the MI I had no clue. No pain no angina nothing but diet controlled diabetes and cholesterol 6.8. I eat healthily do not smoke never have and exercise a little as I need 2 new hips. Usually I am as brave as a lion but I feel anxious, keep crying and too scared to lift the kettle or do housework. I am allergic to 4 statins so they have put me on Ezetimibe to start tomorrow. The aspirin is affecting my stomach as on clot busters and heparin as well. I feel like giving up. Everyone else sounds like they are doing so well and feel great. I now have chest pain I never had before, no feeling in my toes I have never experienced before and swelling ankles. I feel cast adrift. Does anyone else out there feel scared ? I know I should just pull myself together but I cant. I am embarrassed to say I am shaking with anxiety. Help x

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Sootycat
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110 Replies
Sootycat profile image
Sootycat

Wow than answer is so very welcome. When you say every twinge ''was it the next one'' that is me. That is just what I am thinking. This site is amazing. I feel sent out of hospital early (we should have gone for 4 days to our local hospital but its closed to non emergencies due to covid) and I feel I have been put in a rowing boat and cast out to sea. I cant thank you enough for your insight. I would love to know if the twinges you had were like a knife being stuck in you ?? and how long ago it was ? You are a bit of an inspiration you know, and long may it continue xx

purpleswimmer profile image
purpleswimmer in reply toSootycat

Hi. I have not had heart attack but heart failure and have permanent afib. I get your feelings of being cast adrift as also feel abandoned at times by the services. I too get very scared and frightened to do things in case my heart rate increases. I have had three good weeks but for last two days heart has been racing but trying hard not to allow myself to get back to the dark place. I live with my partner but still feel very alone however more good days than bad at moment. Take care of yourself and make sure you get cardio assessment, I am still awaiting mine but keep phoning them to see when opening up again. Xc

Sootycat profile image
Sootycat in reply topurpleswimmer

Thank you for your reply which I can identify with exactly. Its a strange feeling of loneliness even with my husband in the same room. No one has been in touch with me but I am hoping Rehab will at some point. Please keep well and I admire your spirit xx

in reply toSootycat

I am afraid it is a sad truth that to a large degree, once you walk out of those hospital doors you are on your own.

in reply topurpleswimmer

I have rapid AF and arrhythmia and have started to panic when I feel things starting to happen. This of course makes things worse and now I dread the panic attacks more than anything as I live alone and feel very vulnerable. Have had to call an ambulance 3 times and feel I can’t go on like this

Sootycat profile image
Sootycat in reply to

Bwash please hang in there. You are here for a reason even if it is to help and support me.

Have you tried Homeopathy Arnica 200. It is marvellous there are no interactions no contra indications and it does not interact or upset anything. Just boosts your body' own healing power, calms and helps to heal you. try it. What have you got to loose. There is Weleda, Helios, Ainsworths, Nelsons and many more £9.99. Also Aconite 30 or 200 for fright or panic attacks.

When I was married to my first husband I was in a terrible state. Off my head with anxiety. 1983. I was suicidal except for my 2 tiny children asleep in bed. I know this is simple, but honestly blowing into a paper bag helped so much. I know it is the exchange of gasses but just the gently rhythmic sound of the paper bag going up and down really did calm me. Of course the answer to that problem was simple and staring me in the face. Get rid of the problem but I wasn't very strong. But in this day and age, if you can find an old fashioned brown paper bag it helped me so much.

Also very simple things like watching happy films or happy tv programs. My darling hubby (now) suffers from depression and anxiety. At bed time we put on our happy tele. Dads Army, Are you being served. Fawlty Towers. etc etc

I wish you the very best of health and medical attention. You must go on because you have to. Please keep in touch. Much love xxxxxxxxxx

in reply toSootycat

Thankyou so much for your reply and suggestions.it is helpful to know that other people have beaten this sort of panicky situation. As I’m new to this group I never realised there was such support so it is a comfort. I wish you very well and thank you again for your response

Wildmeadow profile image
Wildmeadow

First, just a hug from this fellow traveler to you. Currently sitting in CCU, had HA 10 days ago, chest pain again, possibly pericarditis.

Have you anyone you can call to sit with - I am sitting with you in any case.

All the crying is normal. I’ve cried a river. Started to cry in A&E when two teenagers had a fight.. I wished that I had the energy they had / not for a fight! Just energy!

Can you get some calm music playing and let your self rest. Xx

Sootycat profile image
Sootycat in reply toWildmeadow

What lovely kind messages. Oh my I am sending you the biggest hug and a kiss from Sooty. My dear sweet husband is here but he panics more than me. It s the feeling of no one medical being there. No one in touch no one to talk to. I rang the BHF helpline and got a lovely nurse who put me onto this site. Reading about everyone else helps in some way. Each posting you pick up a glimmer of hope or a little new piece of information. I just feel a nuisance if I ring my doctor who says any pain go to hospital. And yes she is right. I just wish we could have a chat but Doctors cannot do that anymore. The good old days when the doc came in the 1960's with his trusty bag and friendly smile and sat by your bed has gone forever. I don't do calm but it looks as if I am going to have to learn. In the meantime please get well soon and let us know your progress xxxxxxx

Wildmeadow profile image
Wildmeadow

Lovely post xx

Sootycat profile image
Sootycat

So interesting. Glad to know I am not the only one who talks to myself, but I get stupid answers. My hubby actually appeared home with a BP monitor 2 days ago. Interestingly it is strangely reassuring as you say, even though I am mostly Tachy on 110-120 pulse wheras before I had the pulse of a slug. I wish I could exercise as I used to. I was a bit of an athlete rowed for rowing clubs 4s and 8s. Sailed swam ran etc. Now at 60 I can run up the stairs but that's about it. Both hips rubbish which is so annoying. I like the sound of your inner caveman. My inner cave woman must have been dragged off by her hair by a Neanderthal or is avoiding me !! Fear is the big factor but your replies have helped more than you know. Thank you x

in reply toSootycat

The replies you have had from Thatwasunexpected are giving you fantastic advice. Unfortunately we are all on a journey we would sooner not be on, but we have to make the best of it. There is no magic wand and it will be difficult but you WILL get there and start to feel better progressively and make the most of things. Exercise and a good diet will help as well as giving you a mental boost, but as he say's it will never go away completely. i also undertake regular and pretty robust exercise but even yesterday i came back from a hard run with toothache and feeling "just not quite right" and went for the GTN spray, first time in months, just to see if it might possibly be angina, as I still have at least a 50% blockage in my RCA. In the end i felt better and the toothache passed after a couple of Anadin's, and I am sure I would probably have felt like that anyway, you just do sometimes. Good luck and just keep battling on!

Sootycat profile image
Sootycat in reply to

Thank you so much for your reply. When I was on CCU I was frightened to say my teeth hurt. I plucked up the courage and said how all my teeth hurt and the consultant said it was very common particularly with women. So I now have tooth ache too. So strange. I wish you good luck and continued good health x

in reply toSootycat

This is interesting could you just confirm why your consultant said your teeth hurt? When I had my angina before the stents were put in my jaw and particularly back teeth hurt. Following the stenting I had an aching pain in one of my rear molars, which was never explained. The hospital team said it would not be due to the procedure or heart related, and the dentist said there was no infection or signs of decay. I nearly had that tooth taken out but I grinned and bore it for weeks and finally the aching stopped. Sometimes when I am tired or after strenuous exercise my teeth will ache a bit, the GTN spray makes no difference and the GP has no answer. It was never like this before so something has changed but I just live with it now, even though it is a bit disconcerting sometimes.

Sunnie2day profile image
Sunnie2day in reply to

Do you clench your jaw when working out, are in pain, or concentrating very hard? I do - I have to consciously remind myself to unclench my jaw. My dentist told me once he was genuinely afraid I was going to drive the upper teeth clean through my jaw if I didn't break the bad habit.

And if your sinus are blocked the pain can 'radiate' to your teeth - can't tell you how many times my dentist had a look only to discover it was sinus. He'd probe, I'd scream, he'd do an x-ray expecting to see a very sick tooth but usually would see blocked maxillary sinus instead of a sick tooth.

Also, my cardiologist reminded me pain radiating from my pericardium can often go straight up through my chest-shoulder-neck and rest in one or more of my teeth. It's now one of my signals things aren't right with my recurrent pericarditis or Rheumatic Heart Syndrome.

PS - nice bike!

in reply toSunnie2day

Hehe, it's a 1974 Bonneville 750, quite rare as the Triumph factory walked out on strike for almost an entire year in 74, so not many made. Well, I have to admit I usually occasionally find myself grinding my teeth, usually when some idiot is on the radio/TV although since retiring I am proper chilled so like to think I don't do it too much. I have always had s**t teeth so probably just coincidence, if heart disease has one benefit at least I don't worry about my teeth these days. Never fully understood why we don't have teeth like sharks that just get replaced really, it would save a lot of pain and expense. I do have to say when I get a cold it messes my sinuses up no end and results in blocked nose and sinus pain for ages afterwards, however in the last 3 months I have not had any problems so maybe it is related to viruses? At least all this C19 dodging will hopefully reduce the common cold incidences which is good. As you have intimated there must be some link between the heart and teeth, honestly my molar was giving me so much gyp it's a miracle I still have it but have had no recurrence of it over the last 18 months or so since my stents. It's great getting older eh? At least I have loads of patience for the 6 string.

Sunnie2day profile image
Sunnie2day in reply to

I have a Nerf Blaster and 100 rounds of Nerf bullets for ejits on telly. Works a treat but my husband had to anchor the box to the wall:)

Ageing - definitely not for amateurs!

Sootycat profile image
Sootycat in reply to

Yes I asked the consultant as I had one tooth taken out and was due to have another one taken out. He said particularly with women their neck jaw and teeth hurt. Its the aftermath of the heart attack but also angina in women. He said one of his patients had all her teeth removed, and still had phantom toothache in no teeth !! I nearly didn't ask as I did not want to sound a fool. So it can be a sign of angina as well.

I also have terrible sinus, and one really good dentist told me I did not have toothache it was sinus.

I wish these things were made now to people, that is what makes this site invaluable.

Good Luck xxx

in reply toSootycat

I knew it, I should have been a woman.

Pitt12345 profile image
Pitt12345

I think it’s the words Massive Heart Attack. Like you a nurse used the same exact words to my husband and to me and our sons. Not once did a dr or indeed anyone else say those words but we had a hard time getting past them. We are now 18 months down the line and although still get anxious life is more normal (if you can class life as normal at the minute) . Cardio therapy certainly helped enormously so hopefully soon that will start up again, if it hasn’t already and you can access it. Take Care

Sootycat profile image
Sootycat in reply toPitt12345

Thank you for taking the trouble to reply. Anxiety is so awful isn't it and I have never suffered from it in my life. I hope Rehab get in touch soon just to talk to fellow sufferers. I am a retired nurse from many moons ago but in my head I keep thinking about ''massive'' which is silly but you do. I wish you well and a continued good recovery kind wishes xx

Pitt12345 profile image
Pitt12345 in reply toSootycat

One person said it - the drs didn’t and none of the other nurses - so try not to focus on it. As I said Peter is doing good so far . As we were told it’s better to have had ha and had treatment and come through it than it is to not know there is a big problem waiting to happen. Rehab didn’t take long to sort - we are in the Midlands / hopefully yours will be sorted soon

JayceeW profile image
JayceeW

Just sending you a huge hug.

I haven’t had a heart attack, but I have had an aortic valve replaced and a double bypass. I had a complete panic attack when my son suggested a holiday to France a year later despite loving our annual holiday in France. The mind can play tricks, causing us to fear problems that only exist in our mind - no less frightening!

Try to think positive - not easy I know - but it really does help.

Qualipop profile image
Qualipop in reply toJayceeW

OMG the anxiety after a heart attack is only too real. I spent a year sleeping with the light on. I feel they just treat your plumbing then throw you out far too fast with no thought for your mental health and very little explanation Do take cardiac rehab soon as it starts again. It will do you wonders to be with other people who have had the same. I couldn't because ours won't take disabled people. You may also be having side effects from your tablets. I really struggled to breathe on ticagrelor, the statins gave me terrible pain, one gave me hallucinations and the BP tablet dropped it so low I couldn't function so do talk to your GP about your medication.

Sootycat profile image
Sootycat in reply toQualipop

Yes but I keep thinking of all the things that can go wrong. I was a nurse and my daughter is a nurse and she is on at me quite a bit !! which makes me feel worse. We are due to go away to my children in 2 weeks and I feel terrified which I know is silly, The fear in my mind is so real, I have been through so much with my health this just feels a step too far. I feel so sorry you cannot access a service because you are disabled, that seems so unfair and I sincerely hope there is a way round it for you. I do feel better off the statins which was a difficult decision as I know the importance but my allergic reactions were so bad I had to. lets hope the alternative helps. Good luck to you and I hope you continue with a good recovery and a positive outlook. Kind wishes xx

Qualipop profile image
Qualipop in reply toSootycat

Too much knowledge is as bad as too little and makes you worry even more. We do all understand. Being suddenly faced with your own mortality is terrifying. I didn't dare leave the house on my own for a good 6 months-"just in case". I have several other conditions which are chronic and some of them affect my chest and my breathing. I'd been to the doctors numerous times and he insisted my breathlessness was musculo skeletal until I had the heart attack. A young doctor on he 111 service had actually got me referred to the rapid access heart clinic but my GP was so sure it was muscular that got cancelled then bang- heart attack, two totally blocked arteries and 2 partially blocked. I've had bad breathlessness since Feb but it was mid July before a GP finally agreed to see me and check heart etc because they still think it's muscular. So I'm fighting my own fears plus their attitude and a husband who still doesn't think I have any problems at all and the 24/7 pain is all my imagination which is what the doctors insisted for 10 years until I got a proper diagnosis. What is it with GPs who seem to think every problem for women is just anxiety? It's only now, two years on from my heart attack that I've lost a lot of the anxiety. This forum was an absolute Godsend. Everyone is so helpful and supportive.

Sootycat profile image
Sootycat in reply toQualipop

Qualipop don't get me started. Just don't get me started. On a completely different theme my husband suffers from very bad depression bless him due to a horrific childhood. We have tried everything. His world has been rocked this happening to me. So he went to the Dr for a bit of extra help as well as his 22 years on anti depressants. He is not overweight, only very slightly and is very depressed. Not our Dr but another one told him to go away and loose some weight, a couple of stone and his depression would go away. He was stunned. Said Dr said no one ever came out of Belsen fat. So there you are, depression is cured by losing weight and starvation inflicted upon you by oppressors. He is actually only 5lbs too heavy.

I went to the Dr with my sudden pain in my chest and arm 3 weeks ago, this different Dr told me I had raised lymph nodes. Gave me antibiotics. I said are you sure, the pain is radiating up my neck and into my jaw and across to my shoulder tip. When did it start, I said couple of hours ago. Yes she said. I walked out of the Docs up the steps to get in the car and collapsed in front of the surgery.

Both our confidence is severely knocked.

Qualipop I think you might have to poison your husband !!! xxxxxxx

Qualipop profile image
Qualipop in reply toSootycat

OMG your worries are well founded. I had been giving a description of my spinal problem to my GP for years and he simply ignored it until I finally got a diagnosis and I asked the consultant to write to my GP and explain it. I actually got profuse apologies but apologies don't get you cured. If I'd had surgery 10 years earlier I'd be fine now but nerves do not regenerate after 10 years of damage. I know GPs can't be experts in everything and mine is normally very good but this automatic assumption that women are not having heart attacks because their symptoms may be different , infuriates me. When the paramedics took me to hospital at 3am, suspecting a heart attack ( funny ECG)I was still left alone on a corridor until after the day shift came on because I wasn't grey and sweating, I wasn't crying in pain or clutching my chest. I just had dreadful "indigestion" and a pain down my arm and up my jaw. ( And yes, hubby went back to bed). AT least now our GPs listen to me! Yes I can truly imagine how it's affected your husband but that GP should be struck off. Didn't you think about at least a complaint to the practice manager? Any chance you can change GP?

Sootycat profile image
Sootycat in reply toQualipop

Difficult. We live in an isolated rural practice. I know I should have put in a complaint but can't stand the aggro and repercussions. So should hubby. There are only 3 doctors in our small practice and I only like my one.

There is one other very small practice with 2 doctors.

So we are a bit stuck.

I think you need to invest in some syrup of figs for your hubby that would keep him up !!

Oh well we can only try can't we xxxx

Sootycat profile image
Sootycat in reply toJayceeW

Thank you for the huge hug very gratefully accepted !! I am sending one back to you by special delivery hope it arrives quickly and in one piece xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Surreychica_1 profile image
Surreychica_1

Hello there,

I can understand your fears. I didnt even have a heart attack but had a stent put in. I can tell you I could sleep for months. I sat up with the light on every night too frightened to sleep just in case I didnt wake up. I had twitches, pain and swelling in my feet and tinkles down my arm and I thought I was going to have a heart attack. It has taken time, but I now do not think about it because I feel I am the lucky ones. Our problems have been picked up and so we are being treated the hospital and doctors are aware of you and your heart attack. My friend had a heart attack and had 99% blockage without knowing it. He is back to running marathons now.

You do have a few problems with being allergic to various medication but you will get there in the end for sure, albeit a few twitches and pain. The stents take a while to settle down. You are not alone in your fears, but we are lucky as it was all caught before the worst happened and we can live to tell a tale.

Sootycat profile image
Sootycat in reply toSurreychica_1

Thank you for your lovely message. It is so thoughtful and open and honest. It makes me realise other people out there are just like me frightened and scared. Well done you for being so brave and as you rightly say realising you are one of the lucky ones. Thank you and look after yourself xxx

Prothy profile image
Prothy

Hi Sootycat, all your feelings are totally normal. I’m sure most people on this site will agree feeling the exact same emotions when first having been informed they have a heart issue (whatever issue that might be). It will get better when your meds are sorted out etc. Would highly recommend going to the cardiac fitness classes ( when up and running again) they are a great help and answer lots of questions that you are feeling an koi’s about. Believe me things will get better but it will take time. Good luck x

Sootycat profile image
Sootycat in reply toProthy

Thank you. Yes I agree about the rehab. I used to be so fit and active, sooper dooper fit in fact and now walk to the car door and back. I will have to very slowly build up. I cant believe what other people are able to do on here. It gives some hope. Thank you for the kind words xxxxx

SmokeAKipper profile image
SmokeAKipper

Don’t give up... this time last year had HA while on my own ... made it to hospital... had emergency op... one stent... you have survived ... don’t beat your self up... here if you need to chat ... Kr James

Sootycat profile image
Sootycat in reply toSmokeAKipper

That is so kind. Well done you. You must have been so afraid on your own and your bravery is commendable. Knowing someone is there to talk to makes so much difference I cant tell you. I have felt for 2 1/2 weeks I was at sea in a little boat all by myself. Now my boat is getting bigger and there are lots of lovely people in it !! xx

SmokeAKipper profile image
SmokeAKipper in reply toSootycat

Welcome I was walking in Spain when it happened... didn’t tell family till I got back home as it happened on a Friday morning... anyways.... recommend you print out side affects of drugs your on... some give you depression.... and you may need them reduced or changed

Ageingfast profile image
Ageingfast

Just had to say hello. From one sootycat to another.

Nothing cheers me more than having my huge stray cat come and sit on me/by me for a cuddle. I adore my cat. He is the only pet my wife and I have ever had, during 49 years of marriage.

Have you been reading the stroke association forum ? Several phrases are familiar.

I felt cast out in to a rowing boat after the medical stuff ceased. Now i have been promoted from stroke to heart i have found the BHF etc far more active and accessible.

In both cases, someone decided I would survive. Likewise, you are with us to tell of the trauma. So perhaps you (and me) have been chosen to live and ,maybe there is a reason for it. I am still looking for my reason, but I am sure it will toddle along.

I had an AVR which is easier to deal with. I am in week 12 of rehab so now I am starting to do things such as lift a bucket of water, prune big bushes and vacuum floors.

I had the AVR during the depths of covid, and I had to pay to go private. But all the follow up and rehab sessions are absent. Nevertheless, I have got through and can now have a more balanced view of what was going on. I took weeks for the anasthetic to wear off. So you are no doubt heavily affected at just two weeks or so.

My main determination was to get good sleep. I think it was about 6 weeks when the sleep really got to a good level. Everything can build from that.

Time to check Sooty is still snoozing in our bedroom then I will venture in to the garden

Colin

IrisCarter profile image
IrisCarter in reply toAgeingfast

What a lovely post. We also have a stray cat who moved in with us 6 years ago. She’s our pocket panther despite having almost no teeth(she had to have them out as they were so bad), epilepsy (so we have to keep a close eye on her when she’s in the garden) and recently she has developed weak back legs (they sometimes collapse under her). Our vet says that she has Horner’s syndrome - for which there is no treatment.

Sometimes I think that it’s our willingness to care for other creatures and to try and make every day just a bit better for someone that is the reason that we are still here.

Ageingfast profile image
Ageingfast in reply toIrisCarter

Please excuse this diversion away from medical matters

Nice one Iris.

Sooty appeared at our kitchen door when he could smell a ham cooking. He was cold, hungry, wet and tatty. So we fed him and he returned the next day. He soon got invited indoors, then in to the living room and now he can go wherever he likes. This distraction was just excellent rehab for me. And now I have a huge black cat, possible a small panther, who never scratches nor bites but will kill a mouse with a single bite. Amazing creatures. He is now magnificent . In fact his registered name is Sooty Oscarthemagnificent. He remains nocturnal, although wet or windy or very cold nights he will sometimes ask to come indoors. He has a carpeted den in the garage but I wouldnt want to stay outdoors, den or not.

I am now best friends with the local cat lady.

Sooty was very good to Rosemary when I was in hospital (eleven days) and I was amused to see he had decided to get into bed with her in the mornings. He soon resumed first loyalty to me.

This does help my recoveries (first with stroke and now an AVR) and makes all the difference to have a living thing inside our quiet bungalow.

Best wishes

Colin

IrisCarter profile image
IrisCarter in reply toAgeingfast

Yes, I think animals make a big difference. Kitty kept my husband company while I was in hospital (26 days). She is smaller than average and is the size of a 6 month kitten. She also loves to be outdoors, but with epilepsy and weak back legs we try and keep her supervised in the garden. She still manages to disappear sometimes though! She ignored me for the first four days that I was home and had, as you say, switched allegiances! She spends time with my husband at night - he’s an insomniac, but follows me around during the day. She is a lovely companion now that I’m at home all of the time.

Kitty has only ever caught fleas and one injured moth. Apparently they have to be taught to hunt by their mother - seems like her’s wasn’t a hunter.

Sooty sounds like a very lucky cat!

Sootycat profile image
Sootycat in reply toIrisCarter

Yo are so right Iris. Gandhi said you judge a nation by how it treats its animals children and elderly. Sooty came from a refuge where she had been dumped at 4 weeks. She is 12 now and so spoilt !! The love we give to animals is returned 100 fold. Bless your cat and I hope she continues with the best health she can and continues to bring you love and happiness xxxx

Sootycat profile image
Sootycat in reply toAgeingfast

How lovely t hear from another Sooty, You will see her sitting on my husbands knee in my profile photo. She goes everywhere with us and walks on a lead on the beach and in the garden. No I have not seen the stroke assoc page. The rowing boat is relevant to me as I used to be a rower in 4s and 8s.

I can get up and down the stairs well and they are very steep. I have started cooking again and doing the few dishes easily as poor hubby cannot boil an egg and managed to break a cup, break a vase and burn toast.

I have a lightweight hoover and did a little vacuum twice.

My problem is when I rest. My heart rate goes mad 120 - 150 and I get pains in my chest. If I get up and walk about not so bad.

Nights are awful I have insomnia so did my mum managing on 1 - 2 hours her whole life, my daughter who is a nurse on nights and she grabs 2 -3 hours. Sometimes I have no sleep and sometimes 3 hours. My mind just races at night. Tried everything. Seem so be a family trait. I had a fab consultant who gave me sleeping pills for 3 years nitrazepam wonderful but when he left the next one stopped them and haven't slept since. I know all the pros and cons for them supressing the lungs and asthma etc but it was nice to get some sleep and stop worrying.

I love my husband and children and grandchildren so much I want to be here for them. I just wish I could get rid of the fear and the irrational thoughts. That are partly rational !! Thank you for your lovely reply and I wish you continued good health and love to Sooty xxx

IrisCarter profile image
IrisCarter in reply toSootycat

I think that many Drs underestimate the effect of insomnia on some people and are focussed on preventing addiction or meeting targets for reducing use. I am fortunate in that I see a psychiatrist for major depressive disorder and he has prescribed a (non addictive) drug. It is usually used for schizophrenia but at very low doses helps some people to sleep. Like you I endured days of being totally unable to sleep and I was working fulltime. That led to a period of sick leave because I just couldn’t do my job.

I found the one episode I had of AF (hr @150) in hospital very frightening and uncomfortable so your experience must be horrible. At the time no-one told me that it was AF and I have an ICD for polymorphic ventricular tachycardia so I was expecting to be shocked. When I found out I spoke to the Drs and told them that they needed to keep me informed because ironically anxiety triggers the VT.

Sootycat profile image
Sootycat in reply toIrisCarter

I think unless there is a mental health factor all patients should be kept involved and updated. It is the lack of information that is so frustrating. I hope you continue to be strong and get all the information you so desperately deserve. xxx

Ageingfast profile image
Ageingfast in reply toSootycat

I think our Sootys are quite different. Mine spends a lot of the day and most nights away from us. Mostly patrolling his long garden. He is very distressed when I take him in the car. But I think they are both a great comfort in their different ways.

When I felt that I had been placed in a rowing boat, I was all alone in the middle of the Pacific ocean. My friends were, at that time, on a cruise ship in the pacific and that was how the dream started.

I am very impressed that you you did 4s and 8s. Wow.

Things are very hard for you if you cant get an appropriate amount of sleep. Thats been my number one goal, to get night time sleep (for me thats 7.5hrs) .

I found relaxation classes helpful. I originally had one to one from which I learned techniques to help me relax. Then I went to a group session. Currently stopped whilst corona rampages .

I also use a tinnitus relaxer, which plays white noise plus babbling brook etc. I dont have true tinnitus but the little machine helps. It was about £35.

Best wishes

Colin

Sootycat profile image
Sootycat in reply toAgeingfast

Now that is valuable info for my poor hubby who has terrible tinnitus. I will go and research them now. Thank you so much for that. Hugs xxxxx

EmmyLaury12 profile image
EmmyLaury12

Hi Sootycat,

I had HA in April this year one stent in .

I’m

In my early 60’s and before HA thought I was fit and healthy .

The shock is massive !!! I fully understand your anxiety because I had it too . I had two a and e admissions within close proximity of each other because I was frightened I was going to die of another HA.

Now a few months on I’m feeling so much better . The cadiac physio is amazing I’m doing this via video on my phone which is so good . Also started the couch to 5k which really enjoying .

I think the early days of a HA are really scary but look at most OST fromthe strnt club we all get better and the anxiety somehow is replaced by positivity and strength to live life to the full again .

I’m sure this will happen to you too it will just take a little time . I’ve also nearly finished a course of CBT that’s been amazing .

Wishing you all the very best and if you need a chat I’m here like others on this forum to help you and support you through these early days of adjustment.

Sheila xx

Sootycat profile image
Sootycat in reply toEmmyLaury12

Oh Sheila what positive and affirming words. My dear Scottish aunt was Sheila so just seeing the name is lovely. I wanted to go to A & E after a week the pains were so bad but I didn't want to be a nuisance and look a fool. It is so hard to know what is expected pain and what is dangerous pain, as some of the pains felt so bad. I would ring my daughter who is a nurse and she gets so annoyed and says oh really mum you did your training you should know !! But when its me I don't. Every twinge is magnified by fear.

Thank you for your wonderfully honest answer and it sounds as if you are doing marvellously well and have great courage. Thank you xxxx

Smerblue profile image
Smerblue

After a HA last year and 2 stents fitted to 1 artery I was determined it wasn’t going to get me and fought to be back to “normal” as quickly as possible. Every now and then I’d have pains and wonder is this it. I turned down all help from the cardio rehab team in my area as I was strong enough to cope...... in my dreams. There wasn’t a day went by that I didn’t think about pains, twitches or feeling hearty. I think most of it was raised awareness. After tinkering with my meds I was diagnosed with acid reflux. Then a few months later Angina. All the time I was thinking the worst. I had a problem earlier this year that has just been sorted with 2 more stents and arteries cleared with ballooning. I was contacted by my cardio rehab nurse last week and she is coming to see me tomorrow. Anyway the reason for my reply is to let you know in my experience it’s natural to have anxieties and feel like your fit life has ended and worry about odd events, however one thing I would say is get as much help to deal with the mental effects as you can. If it’s offered take it, if it isn’t ask for it. The mental side of dealing with heart issues is often overlooked by the patient and medical professionals. Good luck with your rehab and stay well.

Sootycat profile image
Sootycat in reply toSmerblue

Thank you. I am hoping cardio rehab gets in touch. Nothing yet not even sure if we have anything in this remote area of Scotland. I would love help and advice. I have always been as brave as a lion till now when I have turned into a mouse overnight. Thank you for all your info and it sounds to me like you are very strong and positive and definitely an inspiration. I hope you continue to improve and get back to as close as normality was for you as possible. Good Luck xx

I know the feeling of being scared. It is completely normal. Like you I worked in the health service for 30 years, in my case in cardiac surgery. There is an element of "knowing too much" which can add to the weight you feel.

It is early days out of hospital and that feeling of security you get from being monitored and having nurses and doctors all around. It will take a while to adjust.

I can't tell you why you have chest pain, and if it persists seek help, but in my case on occasions it was caused by being stressed and panicked. Try some deep breathing and relaxation and that may help. Start trying to do the normal things in life again, like making that cup of tea. It is easy not to do things but small tiny steps are important for physical health and eventually a feeling of being ok.

If your hospital offers a post MI rehabilitation programme sign up. If not look for a support group or ring British Heart Foundation for advice.

I still of little episodes of panic now and again but I know what they are now.

You will get there.

Sootycat profile image
Sootycat in reply to

Thank you. Yes I was asking if they were following protocol, and asking about contra indications and probably annoying the nurses a lot. But it was just fear, and all my allergies I have to foods and medications. Ie I told them I was allergic to Ramipril and they said try it anyway. So had allergic reaction as I expected and angioedema and they were surprised. Yes I would love some support if there is anything in this area.

You are so right about missing the security in the ward, and we missed out on the 4 days we should have gone to a local hospital but they were closed for the CV19.

Thank you for the help and advice and I wish you continued good health and thank you again for your encouragement.

angel343 profile image
angel343

hi sootycat im so sorry for what your going through. but all your feelings are normal you have just gone through a very frightening time, I myself was in the same position 5 years ago had three stents and took me a long time to adjust to medication. I thought i was also a very strong person but it broke me. However things will get better with time and adjustments with your meds. The thing is were in such a terrible time at the moment on top of going through what youve gone through, im so glad you survived your heart attack, We are the lucky ones we are the survivors. We are all scared if we admit it and all the feelings you have are normal, there is a light at the end of the tunnel, I was in hospital for a couple of days i cant remember if it was the week before i was that ill. However my medication got stopped and i have been very frightened but i know some of it with me is anxiety. I have made a appointment to discuss my medication. You need to be monitored or ask for a telephone call from the heart nurses to discuss any side effects the medications are giving you. Onething i found is when i started meds they were all kinds of side effect however after a few weeks they seemed to subside. Keep sharing how you feel with others that is a good start on the right path. Hoping and praying things get better for you soon. Take care x

Sootycat profile image
Sootycat in reply toangel343

Thank you for your kind and thoughtful answer. I am so pleased to hear your episode was 5 years ago. Marvellous for you and hope for me.

Would love to talk to the cardiac nurse, so in the end I phoned the BHF nurse and had a long talk to her and it helped me so much.

My allergies to statins are a nightmare and finally they have stopped giving me them as im on my 4th in 2 weeks.

Some of us are just more sensitive to meds than others.

I am so glad you sorted yours out and you sound great. Your support is invaluable and thank you for it. Continued good health xxx

angel343 profile image
angel343 in reply toSootycat

Hi sootycat im so glad you managed to speak to cardiac nurse, sometimes it takes ages to find the correct medication i was put on rosavastatin that was the only one which suited me, however were all different. I have just come back out of hospital been in again overnight having a little bit of a nightmare has bisoporol and ramipril was stopped abruptly and have had horrendous withdrawals. However consultant was very good kept me in overnight done regular blood tests every three hours, suspected heart attack, however diagnosed unstable angina, apparently my meds had been stopped due to bracycardia and heart beat at 50. Now understand what is going i think sometimes we need to have the right information given to us to fully understand how to deal with symptoms, apparently a care plan is now going in place alongside with the doctors to check on all heart issues alongside the long QT syndrome. Life is very complex sooty but im trying to stay optamistic, i just wished i had requested further investigations a long time ago. That is the only bit of advice i am sure of that sometimes we have to fight for the answers from the start. It sounds as if you started getting some good advice , from cardiac nurses, I hope things start to improve for you remember your not alone there is always some one on this forum who can help you with there own experiences, when we share these it can sometimes help . Take care of yourself thinking of you x

Sootycat profile image
Sootycat in reply toangel343

Thank you for your reply. You sound like such a fighter and a battler and have surmounted a lot of obstacles to finally get the information and help you need.

I get so mad about this. Why should we have to fight, and be annoying and push push push for help. In the end it was the lovely cardiac nurse at the BHF who helped me.

I first did my training in 1976 then again in 95 (don't ask) !!! involved a baby who is now the bossy nurse lol things were so different then. Now it is all about cost. So sad. The NHS is the best service in the world but is out of money.

If only there were more follow ups, and information and help was more available.

Things have changed beyond all recognition. I only realised when one of my granddaughters stared at me in disbelief and said '' doctors used to come to the house ? What your home?'' I thought oh dear. Now I am old !!

Keep going, you have given me such care and advice. Thank you.

Doris2020 profile image
Doris2020

Hello Sootycat, what a difficult time you have had. You have had what many would see as a major trauma with the operation and change of medication and the first thing is be kind to yourself. You need time to heal and get better. Take a day at a time and allow yourself to rest and sleep. Elevate your feet regularly and do Some gentle stretches to keep as much movement as you can. Being anxious is really difficult as your head is full of thoughts which are difficult to rationalise. Try and write down what you are feeling and keep a diary. This will help you talk about these feelings with your GP and consultant. Ask for help with your shopping, gardening, cleaning, washing, etc. It sounds like you need friends, family and neighbours to support you through this time. Think about some counselling to help you adjust. I really hope you feel better soon. Best wishes Doris.

Sootycat profile image
Sootycat in reply toDoris2020

Hi Doris

Yes you have hit the nail on the head. The problem is the doctor is so busy, you cant get an appointment and then they have 5 minutes. I feel I cannot burden her and don't want to be a nuisance.

I am lucky to have hubby home just now. Normally he would not be he would be at work doing 70+ hours a week but with lockdown he has been home 14 weeks now. He does everything except cook.

Sadly my 2 daughters, 2 son in laws and 4 grandchildren are all overseas. Not too far the channel islands but it is a 2 day journey by car and boat or 2 plane flights. so we have no one in the Uk. We are due to go in 2 weeks (booked nearly a year ago) but I am terrified. Not allowed to fly for another 6 weeks with the HA and my clotting but my daughter who is a nurse says take it gently. Drive slowly and carefully and go. So I am torn whether to stay at home and mope and cry or take the bull by the horns and go. I just don't know.

Yes you are right about gentle stretching that I should do.

Thank you for your time and your encouragement. I appreciate it so much xxxx

Joliv61 profile image
Joliv61

Hi Sooty, welcome to our club. It’s a bit of a shock when you join, but look at the positives you’re a survivor.. a winner. Look back at those feelings from when you used to row. 😉.

My ha last November resulted in 3 stents and a host of meds to take. I had no warning signs before but looking back was getting breathless doing any sudden exertion eg carrying the shopping, butgoing on an exercise bike was oddly enough ok probably because it had a gentle start.

You tend to become really conscious of every twinge and ache as though it’s another attack, but it does take a few months for the stents to settle down; no one really tells you to expect this or explains it well.

Great support and advice in here but the small print is always check with your cardiac team.

Getting back into exercise is slowly done...I was allowed a 5 minute walk to start with and not allowed to walk my doggies. I’m now up to 7 miles and the aches are from the hips and knees...

maybe it’s a rowing thing 😁😁

Sootycat profile image
Sootycat in reply toJoliv61

Oh I see you are Rowing 58. An old rowing buddy. How I miss those days. So much.

I am guessing your elbows and shoulders are probably shot now as are my hips.

I wish I had a cardiac team. We were told no cardiac follow ups and we got send a Cardiac Rehab website to read about diet and exercise. I have learnt so much from everyone on here and the camaraderie is great. Also my talk with the BHF Cardiac nurse was worth its weight in gold.

I had no warning at all, like you, nothing. If I was breathless I would not realise as I have asthma. No one tells you anything, ie the stents need time to settle and there can be pain. Ok I did my training but was never on Cardio.

Having a chat on here and reading all the replies is music to the soul. So appreciated.

Even as I am typing this I have a pain in my chest and I am thinking should I have that. Is it another heart attack. Then I think be strong and listen to all these people.

Thank you for your input so lovely to hear from you and thank you. Keep rowing. I will if they can find a boat big enough to take me !!!!

ps I swear by Omega 3 1,000mg a day. Cant walk without it, and my husband is the same.

Joliv61 profile image
Joliv61 in reply toSootycat

Haha I need an eight for myself nowadays if I can rig it as a single.

Loved racing hated training but you had to train to race.

Still waters Sootycat...

Sootycat profile image
Sootycat in reply toJoliv61

And single sculls just doesn't cut it does it !!!!

Sunnie2day profile image
Sunnie2day in reply toSootycat

Stop, stop! The two of you are making me miss my rowing machine so much I've gone out to the garden to kick a tree stump! :) but oh do I miss rowing!

Joliv61 profile image
Joliv61 in reply toSunnie2day

I still get my fix, I have a waterrower but it’s not the same as a good four..

Sunnie2day profile image
Sunnie2day in reply toJoliv61

Between the orthopaedist and the cardiologist I've been told I'll never row on a machine or water ever again. Or play tennis - I have been given grudging approval to try badminton but only if I 'go gentle'. sigh

Sootycat profile image
Sootycat in reply toSunnie2day

I's that right ? Some people on here seem to be able to climb mountains.

Maybe in time taking it gently ??

See if you can get more advice.

I sincerely hope something can be done. In the meantime grow to love your shuttlecock !!!! Lol

Sunnie2day profile image
Sunnie2day in reply toSootycat

I've been told by three different Mr Bones if I try doing things like tennis or rowing again I risk losing what function I have left in both arms.

Same with Dr Heart (my fourth) who jokingly tells me my 'unique' combination of heart conditions mean I should live in a climate controlled Perspex bubble, lol but not really funny considering how active I was once was before 2019. I have had a mild heart condition since childhood but things got 'more interesting' in the late '90s with additional mild-ish heart conditions.

It could be worse. Without 'modern medicine' cardiac tamponade would have killed me in '99 and the early 2000s, and careful orthopaedic rehab means I've regained 90+% use of both arms - I am so not complaining! I just have to be a wee bit more cautious than some other folks. No more Munro bagging ('shouldn't' go above 2Kft), no more rowing, no more tennis - it could be worse and it certainly beats the alternative:)

Sootycat profile image
Sootycat in reply toSunnie2day

Sunnie I guess its the lesser of 2 evils. Maybe you could train your mind to do something else. My amazingly active mum who went to Africa in 1945 with a machete and a bottle of Dettol when she got older (we were not allowed to say old) took to thrashing people at cards and scrabble. For a tiny lady she was ruthless. Even gentle walks on lovely paths or fields and flowers. I guess with the options you have we have to adapt. Its that or Kerplunk xx Much love xx You will champion some new cause xx

Pewse profile image
Pewse

Hi Sooty. With you on the above! Mine too came out of the blue. No prior signs, healthy as one could wish and then BANG - bells, whistles and lights into Papworth where 2 stents were fitted. The surgeon described (in my notes) my main heart blood supply vessel as being: a large, torturous vessel with a marked angular turn - almost 90 degrees. Like you, my hips are dodgy too and statins don’t suit my body at all - so after we had cycled through most of them (6 in all) I’m back in the initial one but at the smallest dose. For a year any twinge I felt was “oh my goodness I’m going to have another heart attack. Frightened me to death - so I decided to take a different mind set approach. I reasoned that because I had had a camera shoved in my wrist vein, up my arm and into my heart, the tissues have actually been violated.traumatised and they need to heal from that trauma. It was amazing how just a shift in thought pattern helped. I couldn’t manage the walking anymore without being breathless and my heart team manager said I was being too hard on myself and slow down. So I started with a 5 min out/back for two weeks, then increased it by 5 mins every two weeks. I also increased fruit and veg eating. My attack was in December 2018. Now I can walk where I want, and cycle again. My walking admittedly is not as fast as it used to be but hey, I’m 70.

You’ll get there Sooty - it just takes time. Here fir you. 🙏

Sootycat profile image
Sootycat in reply toPewse

God I love this reply so much !! It sounds so like me. My beloved professor from Guys in London and my blood consultant from the Royal Free both went to Papworth and are still there as far as I know. I am away up in the frozen north of Scotland now.

Yes I have had 5 statins in the past. Allergic to them all about 5 years ago. So now 4 statins in 2 1/2 weeks terrible angioedema etc I start today on a new medication that reduces cholesterol but is not a statin. Fingers crossed.

I am amazed to hear you are cycling, that is great. I used to love cycling and would love to start again but that might be a day dream.

You are doing well for 70. I feel worn out at 60. But you are another who is an inspiration and thank you so much for all your advice and care. Keep well, it sounds like you have a very good team. kind wishes xxxx

Pewse profile image
Pewse in reply toSootycat

Me again - look up Brad Yates/Nick Ortner on utube. Both are specialists in EFT (also known as ‘Tapping’ - an alternative health measure - totally legit and professional - to help you reduce your fears/stress levels re having had the heart attack and all that’s associated with it - helped me - in other life areas too. Good luck. 🤗

Sootycat profile image
Sootycat in reply toPewse

I will do it right now. Thank you . xxxxx

Simonrainbow profile image
Simonrainbow

You are feeling what most people do after an event like yours. I'm an ex royal marine, been shot at , stabbed and blown up , but nothing prepared me for my heart attack 5 years ago.

The body is a strange beast, it goes into a defence status where mentally everything is a threat, IT WILL PASS. just try and breathe through the anxiety and for goodness sake talk to people or a mental professional about how upu feel. after flatlinng for 4 mins in the ambulance, 12 months later I was diagnosed with PTSD and a couple of sessions with a counsellor sorted my brain, you can do it too and remember most of the "feelings" you are getting now are just side effects of the medications you will be on!!!!

Sootycat profile image
Sootycat in reply toSimonrainbow

What an incredible reply. In fact I am sitting in the office at the computer and called my husband through to read it. I have read it 3 times and I am so amazed and humbled by it. I feel like saying for goodness sake me shut up and stop moaning. Look what this guy has been through.

You made me think of my father. He was SAS. One of the first 60. he parachuted behind enemy lines 3 times with a folding bike on his back, the 3rd time broke his ankle and walked for 37 miles. He was captured tortured and escaped. I could go on for hours he was at Dunkirk and Narvik Rome Crete and Africa.

He was killed on the A1 in 1980. I was 19.

What would he say. He would say just get on with it and stop complaining.

I am so glad you are 5 years on. For you and hope for me.

Thank you for your service I salute you, and wish you many years of continued good health.

Oh no...

Chappychap profile image
Chappychap

My heart goes out to you, you lovely, wonderful lady.

You've helped so many in your life, I hope you find the help that you deserve. All I can offer is my sincere assurance that you will get through this, just hang on in there and you will reach the other side.

Good luck!

Sootycat profile image
Sootycat in reply toChappychap

Thank you so much. Mind you after speaking to the chap before I feel like giving myself a shake and saying come on snap out of it. I seem to veer from brave to pathetic.

I sincerely hope you mean the other side of this not the other side haha !!

Golly I was almost cheerful then !

You are so kind to take the trouble to talk to me and I greatly appreciate it; Kind wishes to you xxxxxx

ToffeeT profile image
ToffeeT

I think given your circumstances it's quite reasonable to be scared. I had a SCA on March 1st. I only survived by a massive stroke of good luck. We were having a team build otherwise I'd have been home alone, at work we have a defib.

I'm anxious all the time but I am getting better with time. I suspect time might just be exactly what you need. Remember the BHF nurses are at the end of the phone if you need them and I think a chat with one would do you no harm.

Sootycat profile image
Sootycat in reply toToffeeT

Hi there.

I am so glad you had that stroke of good luck.

Funny we just moved from a Scottish island to a peninsular, still remote but I kept saying to my husband what if we were ill. Sure enough when I had my totally unexpected heart attack we could see the hospital from the car. Or I might not be here. Ok it is slightly bigger than a cottage hospital, and I had to be put on a boat to another hospital and then taken to central Glasgow to yet another hospital. We have lived even more remotely, near Wick and Thurso and Shetland islands. But I kept feeling we needed to be nearer civilisation.

Maybe the hand of God put you with others that day. Thank goodness.

I was in such a state 3 days ago I called the BHF cardio nurse and she was fabulous. Plenty of time and kind and patient.

I hope your anxiety gets better as time goes by, and I hear what you say. Thank you so much.

ToffeeT profile image
ToffeeT in reply toSootycat

Thanks for that. Sounds like the hand of fate has played a hand in both our lives. You ended up in hospital in the city of my birth, though the hospital I was born in, Rottenrow,is long gone.

I ended up in three hospitals, Stoke on Trent, Shrewsbury and Telford, all looked after me so well.

Sootycat profile image
Sootycat in reply toToffeeT

We need to start our own little club. 3 hospitals in one day club !!

Rotten row is still talked of. Fondly by the older generation.

It seems to have had such personality.

Good luck to you and many more happy health days xx

Jaynie13 profile image
Jaynie13

Sootycat, my (now dodgy!) heart goes out to you! I had a H/A out of the blue just over 8 weeks ago and had to have emergency angioplasty. I was told that 'things could have been very different' if I'd left calling the ambulance any longer. I only had one stent but my left artery was completely blocked and the echo the following day showed that I had 'severe left ventricular dysfunction' and an EF of 30%. I went home to basically an empty house (I'm divorced, no children, just a dog :)) and it was terrifying. I've never felt so alone and vulnerable in my life! I got a lot of pain those first six weeks and as many have said, you're waiting for the 'next one' to happen! But, now just eight weeks on things have improved! My anxiety has diminished and little by little I'm getting stronger, healthier and more confident as each day goes by. I also saw my cardiologist last week and had a follow up echo which showed that my heart damage is now 'moderate' rather than 'severe' and my EF is around 45% now. And guess what, the pains and twinges and have been soooo much easier since I found out my heart has improved ;)

My advice is be kind to yourself, if your body is telling you to rest, then rest, it's been through a huge trauma.....and talk....talk to anyone that will listen, air your fears but stay away from Dr Google....I terrified myself in that first week post H/A and was convinced I wasn't long for this world! It really does get better as time passes, the anxiety diminishes a little bit every day though for me I doubt it will ever go away fully. You'll find that as time goes by you'll suddenly realise that for a couple of hours you've not thought about your heart, you're not waiting for every pain or quickened beat....but it does take time. Be patient, be kind to yourself, try and find a couple of enjoyable new hobbies to help with distraction...and take care of yourself, you're not alone in all of this. Much love and good wishes.

Sootycat profile image
Sootycat in reply toJaynie13

I love your reply so much and found it very moving. I am so sad you went to an empty house, but gladdened to hear you have a dog. What wonderful companions they are. Animals feel our pain. When I cry or say my prayers, sooty comes over and either lies beside me & licks my cheek. (not allowed at the moment) the love and warmth that animals bring can be better than having the wrong person in the house. You sound so level headed and positive. I am having a pathetic phase at the moment which I need to snap out of. You are doing so well for 8 weeks on it is really inspiring. Good Luck stay safe stay well xxxxxx

64AF profile image
64AF

Hi there glad to hear you are at home and now can move forward.

I have had two mi and understand your feeling I still get it at times as now have atrial fibrillation. Stay positive and I found walks with my wife helpfull starting slowly and building, I also got a relaxation cd from the hospital I lay on the bed and listen to the music and follow the relaxation techniques I normally fall asleep. The fear will subside and you will feel better Be positive and enjoy your life.

Sootycat profile image
Sootycat in reply to64AF

It is so hard to relax, I must do as you suggest and try some music or sounds to help. The weather here is so cold and now 4 weeks of rain. It is so dismal and I got drenched just going into the garden for a few minutes today. If the weather ever warms up I will venture out. The sun is kinder to my asthma.

Well done you for building up the way you have. I hope you have continued good health and kind wishes to yourself and your wife. xxx

Hi Sootycat, so many wise words on this forum for you. We all understand your fears. Another ex nurse here, (we make the worse patients). I was diagnosed with AF and HF in April, still trying to adjust my my `new normal`. My new mantra has been one day at a time, it works for me. Sending you best wishes. x

Sootycat profile image
Sootycat in reply toDanceawaytheblues

Thank you so much, and I hope you get to dance away the blues like you probably used to. Those were the days. xxxxxxxx

Danceawaytheblues profile image
Danceawaytheblues in reply toSootycat

Hope that you are feeling `good` today. I love the Cliff Richard film `Summer holiday`. They danced away the blues, giving my age away now. lol. I am a 60`s `girl`. I still try and dance when I can, and when no one is looking. Take care and best wishes to you. xxx

Sootycat profile image
Sootycat in reply toDanceawaytheblues

Love Cliff love summer holiday.

I swore age about 6 or 7 when the film came out one day I would stand in the square in Athens and watch the Evzones parading in their funny pigtail hats.

Well I finally did 3 years ago but it took till I was nearly 60. What a wait !! Good Luck xxx

Handel profile image
Handel

I've said it before and I'll say it again, you're an inspiration!! xxx

in reply toHandel

Hes a good lad but hes a bit slow over 5K.

Sootycat profile image
Sootycat

Hi there. Well I am a bit of a complicated case !! I am OCD and ocd with food in the extreme. I have been vege for 45 years, I was vegan for 2 years but it was too strict. I do not eat processed food, junk food and live on salads, fruit (which is difficult being diabetic) baked potatoes and granary sandwiches. I do eat grilled fish but no chicken. I follow the Med diet and I have high cholesterol as does my sister and my mother did. Mum died from an MI but she was 85. I weigh 16stone 7lbs, nothing on this earth reduces my weight. my sister follows the same diet no sweets no chocolate no biscuits no rubbish etc she is 8st 4lbs. Mum was 7st 5lbs. Tiny. Only difference is I am 5ft 10'' they are both 5ft. They both eat meat. I was anorexic in my teens for about 3 years and have seen professors and dieticians etc till the cows come home. Now my diabetes which I have controlled brilliantly for 12 years has gone mad, off the scale so they are starting me on metformin . I feel a failure. Any ideas diet wise would be very gratefully received but as one Consultant said other than stopping eating all together (which I did in my teens) we cant find anything else to cut out. Just to add (please I hope I am not boring you) I was very athletic. Rowed for rowing clubs, sailed ran swan I was a county swimmer. I was a Naval cadet. I need 2 new hips, sub acromial shoulder and 2 tennis elbow (very common for ex rowers and oarsman) which means little or no exercise. My asthma is not good and I can do little if it is cold. I am so tired of the medical profession looking at me thinking she eats cakes and pizza. I don't. I will try anything you suggest. Thank you for any advice and the trouble you have taken to read this. Kind wishes xx

ph5019 profile image
ph5019

Hi, I notice I am your 47th reply, I have not read any of the others yet. Yes all those feelings I have had, your normal,you have had a massive shock, it will ease over time. I had a stemi 10 weeks ago and have 5 stents. I have some therapy on the NHS, Talkworks, but I was feeling so desperately anxious and low I pay for some additional therapy which has worked very well, I feel much better mentally although I have had quite a few setbacks. If you need any more details please contact me, REMEMBER YOUR FEELINGS ARE NORMAL- Paul

Sootycat profile image
Sootycat in reply toph5019

Hi Paul. My word you have had a lot of work done but seem to be coming out of it. I would be very interested where you got the extra help and in what form. There is just a blank wall out there and no help.

This is the only place I feel I have support and information.

Continued success and any extra info would be great xxxxx Thank you

ph5019 profile image
ph5019 in reply toSootycat

Hi, if you go on the NHS website , look up EMDR - Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing.It is a therapy usually performed face to face and it really works. Due to covid,my therapist is seen via Zoom. After my HA my local heart function team said I had PTSD/trauma as a result of my heart attack. Your local NHS mental health team (provided your in the UK) can help, or talk to your GP. I went privately due to my desperation for help quickly, I just researched EMDR therapist , you don't need a referral from your GP. Good luck, hope this helps, certainly did for me - Paul

Sootycat profile image
Sootycat

Allan you are so brave, so very brave. I know just how you feel, I need 2 new hips and have 2 knackered elbows (nice medical term there from ex nurse) and sub acr shoulder. I too overweight with diabetes and it makes it all so difficult. If anyone else tells me not to eat any more cakes or pies or pizzas I might ignore my chest pain and attack them. 15 years since I had a pizza. Don't eat pies im a vege. I think some professionals see fat and think stupid. It is soul destroying and I feel a worthless failure as it is. You are not going to pop and you are going nowhere. People like me need people like you to talk to as you have valuable information to share. And a lot of kindness and I am guessing a big heart. I desperately hope you get sorted out soon and please keep in touch and let me know how you are getting on xxxxxx

And a big pinch of salt....

Sootycat profile image
Sootycat in reply to

Lol smiley face !!

Mandie76 profile image
Mandie76

Hi, as said before we all have our own journeys. I am 44 and for 3 weeks previous was diagnosed with Covid even though Two tests came back negative. It was angina. I then had my heart and stent put in and I too was very scared and 3 weeks after I convinced myself I was having another heart attack because I kept getting stabbing pains in my heart for 3 days. In fact I tried to stay awake for those 3 days and then called the ambulance after sleep deprivation and convinced It was my last night. It was a panic attack and I was actually making myself worse and my heart was okay.

We all have good and bad days and heart seems to heal quicker than the shock of having a heart attack. Everyone on here was just wonderful helping me, read some of my replies. Keep your chin up, we are the lucky ones and we are all here to help each other.....

I’m 44 ate healthy, low cholesterol, normal weight, low blood pressure before my heart attack.

Sootycat profile image
Sootycat in reply toMandie76

What an incredible story.

I am so glad they found out what was wrong in the end.

It is the stabling pains that are so frightening. I wish they told you in hospital, you may have stabbing pains that will terrify you. But they don't.

In your case the only thing I can think of is there must be a genetic predisposition. Which is part of my problem.

All the very best to you, and I will look up your replies as I am sure they will be helpful.

Kind wishes xxxxxx

Sootycat profile image
Sootycat

Thank you. And this is ok with high cholesterol and no statins ?? I will try anything.

Sunnie2day profile image
Sunnie2day in reply toSootycat

Ask your doctor before making any changes to your diet. If he/she has any objections (or additional advice and support) you've given her/him a chance to voice those.

They do tend to 'err on the side of caution' but usually they say 'Give it a go and let's see what happens'. But sometimes they say 'Absolutely not' and if they do they'll have excellent medical reasons for that. So it's always best to run it past them first.

Sootycat profile image
Sootycat

And the same to you. Smiley face and red heart. (on the desk top doesn't do emojis) xxxxxxx

2stents profile image
2stents

Morning, my dad had a massive heart attack at the age of 40, no stents or meds afterward he went back to work fitting windows,

He was 60 before his next heart massive attack which resulted in a double bypass, he built me a conservatory after that..

I too suffer same ages as my dad but luckily (touch wood) no heart attack but stents fitted..

So really I’m just saying your are bound to feel scared, and sometimes it’s the strongest people that need reassuring, I wish you a speedy recovery and you get back to your normal self really soon xx

Fluffybee profile image
Fluffybee

Hi Sootycat

I don’t have the same as you but your post is so heart wrenching to know you’re feeling just so bad.

As several kind people have said there’s loads of support and advice on here.

Just want to give you a massive hug 🤗 you’ve given so much, I know you’re going through such a terrible time, posting on here knowing you’re not alone really helped me and hope it does you.

You will get there and look back and know you’ve been through all you’ve been through and came out the other side.

Please let us know how you get on, 🤗🤗

Sootycat profile image
Sootycat in reply toFluffybee

Hi Fluffy

Thank you for your warm and wonderful rely. It is so heart warming, well you have to be our favourite canary is called fluffy !!

The support and love that has come from the people who have taken the time and trouble to reply is life affirming. I am questioning myself now if I have done enough for others but from now if I have anything useful or just kind to say I will.

Thank you for the hug, received and adored.

Love to you and Good health or at least manageable health always xxx

Fluffybee profile image
Fluffybee in reply toSootycat

Hi Sootycat

I was just thinking about you and wondered if you’re feeling any better?

I, as I’m sure all that replied to your post was very touched by what you said.

Hope you’re ok 😊

Sootycat profile image
Sootycat

Hi there Fluffybee

That is so kind of you.

Do you know, when I do finally get to sleep about 5 am and wake about 8.30 am, I think oh Good Morning world I feel great. And then I remember.

It is so peculiar for those first few moments you think everything is as it was before.

So it is 4 weeks today since my HA and tomorrow 4 weeks since the op.

The bruising has gone from my right arm now but it is still a little painful but I am using it to do the cooking and the dishes. A bit of dusting and tiny tiny bit of hoovering with a light hoover. Thing is you feel not too bad. Then...……..

The clouds burst yesterday so I ran up our steep garden steps got to the top and thought...….oh dear central chest pain and cant breathe. Panic

I feel not too bad in the day, then go to bed and all the demons come back. I think what is that pain, stabbing, is it serious. Is this the end ? Then I tell myself off. Then twinges in my neck and jaw and all the fears and worries come flooding back.

So days are better, and nights are still frightening.

The support I have had on here has been tremendous and touching and kind. It has filled the void of no follow up from anyone, and I think I may have gone mad without it.

I cannot thank everyone enough and I wonder if the people who got in touch will see this or if I should post it as well ??

How are you ? How are you feeling and how are you progressing ? I return your hug and several more besides, and funnily enough I thought of you today when I fed Fluffy our canary and now every time I see her I think of you !!

Love and hugs and cuddles xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Attalayah profile image
Attalayah

I had a massive heart attack last week. Died several times. Used defrib 12x. Several cracked ribs. Im in my 1st week of rehab . I cant do anything. Im only 65 was always healthy. Im scared too. I havent even talked to my doctor yet. Im having trouble sleeping because my heart feels like its racing and i have to take deep breaths. They say its anxieties. I cough a lit which worsens pain. No appetite. Cry all the time. Im miserable and unsure of my future

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