Carpbait: This has to be the silliest... - British Heart Fou...

British Heart Foundation

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Carpbait

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This has to be the silliest question asked to all us Heart Attack survivors, but has anyone felt part of you died on the day of your Attack, reason I ask this question is on the day I had my attack back in January 2019 , I was working in my daughters house putting up shelves / coat hangers and other small jobs, little realising that at 4pm I would be on an operating table having a stent fitted, although it all went to plan ( as the doctors said ) I am still not allowed to do many of the things I used to do, hence my phrase part of me died that day, have any felt any of these feelings, I would like to hear your thoughts.

Be safe and take care

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19 Replies
Sensei_Mark profile image
Sensei_Mark

Hi my friend. Fortunately I haven't yet had a heart attack, but I am seriously at risk.

In my opinion, I think that it is natural to feel that part of you has died. Your heart is your soul.

You have lost the freedom to live life to the full....this is also a loss. Take solace in the fact that you are still there for your family, even if you feel 'incomplete'.

Yasyass profile image
Yasyass

Hi there doesn’t seem silly to me it feels like u are the same person but worry more I too had ha four years ago althou I feel ok gp told me I have heart failure which has made me more anxious thinking what if it happens again or if an ache or pain comes is it from my heart or something else I try to shut out the memories

Charpop profile image
Charpop

Hey. Yes 8 weeks ago I had heart attack and stent. I'm 44 and reasonably fit and active. For several years I've suffered depression and anxiety and 3 years ago I was under a mental health team after attempting to take my life. That part of me had now died, I want to live and live my life the best I can. The HA has made me realise this. I know it's scary and things change but we are here. Keep going you'll get back to the best version of you now.

Jaynie13 profile image
Jaynie13 in reply toCharpop

Hi Charpop...your post really resounded with me. I had a heart attack a little over four weeks ago and had a stent fitted. For many years before the HA I've suffered from anxiety, depression and panic disorder and have also been suicidal on several occasions. Since the HA my mental health has changed completely and I feel calmer now than I have done for years. I remember sitting in the ambulance as they rushed me to hospital and saying to the paramedic that there have been times when I really haven't wanted to carry on, but when it came down to it I realised I don't want to die after all. For me, this feels like a second chance and a total wake up call and I'm doing everything in my power to be fitter and healthier than I've ever been, both physically and mentally. I will NOT give up without one hell of a fight now! Good luck for the future.

080311 profile image
080311 in reply toJaynie13

Hello Jaynie13

First let me say reading your post lifted my spirits, it’s awful that you had a HA but so wonderful that it as changed your prospective on life. You go girl!

Not the same but had a valve replaced and bypass so was on bypass after the surgery couldn’t shake that my heart had been stopped and my surgeon had held it in his hands! It’s nearly 4 years ago, and I am grateful every day to the very clever medical team that gave me a second chance. Like you I will do all I can to keep my mended heart as well as I can.

I send you best wishes and every bit of luck there is.

Stay safe Pauline

Jaynie13 profile image
Jaynie13 in reply to080311

Thank you Pauline, and I hope that you continue to be well. My Mum had a mechanical valve fitted and it was a source of much amusement at times as whenever she started to get annoyed we'd be able to hear the 'clicking' of her valve speed up!

Take care, stay safe, and I hope that your mended heart continues to serve you well for many, many more years to come :)

Charpop profile image
Charpop in reply toJaynie13

Hi. I know exactly what you mean. We can't control our MH but now we know how important our life is. I'm so happy for you and wish you only good things and good thoughts in your future. We have a life to love x

Jaynie13 profile image
Jaynie13 in reply toCharpop

Thank you Charpop, and the same to you. I must admit, I have my follow-up echo looming to see how my heart is doing now and I can feel my anxiety starting to increase. Fingers crossed there's a fair bit of improvement! Take care of yourself and life is precious, let's make the most of it :)

in reply toJaynie13

Good luck Jaynie 13 if your echo shows as much as your compassion you have it licked

Be safe

Jaynie13 profile image
Jaynie13 in reply to

Thank you Carpbait...spoke to my cardiologist's secretary this morning and have my echo booked for 22nd July and see my cardiologist an hour afterwards so fingers crossed! I hope that you're feeling well? I have to say, your user name here always makes me smile as my late Dad was a keen fisherman, especially carp fishing, and he swore that's what kept him so healthy....so if you're a fisherman too I hope that you're finally getting to sit on those banks and enjoy the peace and tranquility :) Take care of yourself.

in reply toJaynie13

Cheers my love, been to the banks twice so far, sorry your dad is no longer here to enjoy his fishing, who knows there could be an even bigger lake up there in Heaven , good luck on the 22nd , let us all know how you got on, we are all one big family, and family look after one and another.

Be safe

Jaynie13 profile image
Jaynie13 in reply to

Thanks for your kind words...I do like to think that my Dad is sitting 'up there' fishing that big carp lake in the sky...and I bet my Mum is nagging in his ear as well ;) I hope that you get to go fishing a little more often now that lock-down is easing. Be safe.

HenryTudor profile image
HenryTudor

It’s interesting that after 18 months you still believe there are things you can’t do.

I had a heart attack about 18 weeks ago. Four stents fitted in two separate angioplasties, nine days apart. 24 hours after the emergency angioplasty I had a VT episode. I’ve read that if they don’t stop and restart your heart with a defibrillator within 30 seconds you’re dead. I had ten medics running and shouting at me and the last thing I remember is being told “This is going to hurt.”

The cardiologist told me that in 15 years he’s not had a single patient survive such a “massive heart attack”. Another doctor told me I’d “dodged a bullet.”

Notwithstanding all that I’ve not been told there are things I can’t do. Anything I want to do I have to build up to. Build my strength and build my heart, which after all is just a muscle.

Nothing has died in me. To the contrary I’ve been given a second chance and am determined to stay fit and healthy well into my 80’s - I’m 66. My mother had her first series of heart attacks when she was in her late 40s and died in her early 60s. She had Type 2 diabetes and I was diagnosed with T2 whilst in the CCU. I’ve lost nearly two stone and modified my diet. My Hb1Ac blood reading has fallen below the diabetic range.

No ... you too have been given a second chance. Stents are a wonderful procedure. Read in here about people who’ve had real surgery. Open heart surgery - that’s frightening.

Grasp that chance.

HenryTudor profile image
HenryTudor

Yesterday I cooked, in my bbq, a full English breakfast for me, my wife and seven friends. Then did all the washing up.

My wife chooses to work full time beyond retirement age to give us the money for lots of extras. So I make sure she doesn’t have to lift a finger at home.

Grayjay profile image
Grayjay

As one thing dies another thing is born.I.e change of lifestyle, hopefully for the good. It could be better than before. You've got a long life ahead of you yet so enjoy and make the most of it.

Gillymaccy profile image
Gillymaccy

Me 2 had my 1st heart attack when I was 37 another one at 55 , fitted with a de-fib device now and had 2 of them already . When you get a bad heart it’s very hard ❤️

Maisie2014 profile image
Maisie2014

Oh yes. I had mine a month after you and I went into a period if mourning. I couldn’t understand why I was mourning my passing when I am still here. This lockdown has been good for me. It’s made me sit still for once and think. I’m accepting my limitations and moving on. It’s bloody annoying and frustrating sometimes especially when I have a bad day (like yesterday). Thanks for your input. I thought I was being daft. Take care.

HenryTudor profile image
HenryTudor in reply toMaisie2014

Hi Maisie,

I’ve used this to heighten my appreciation of all the good things. If you have some especially close friends tell them how much you appreciate their friendship.

When I was in hospital for nine days my wife was on her own at home. Before lockdown, so going to work every day. One of our friends would knock on the door with a couple meals for my wife to make sure she was eating properly.

We are in a quiz team with our close friends, kept in touch via Facebook Messenger daily and ran our own online quizzes during lockdown. On Sunday when I had them round for a full English breakfast they especially liked the masala tea I served. So I’ve bought another box and have given them each a bag. A small token but a big thank you for their friendship.

How are you coping generally?

Henry

Maisie2014 profile image
Maisie2014

Hello Henry. I’m fine thank you. I used to be very busy; gym 4 of 5 times a week and always out and about. I’m the matriarch of the family do have always sorted things out for every and my poor husband is the only man, as my 3 sisters are single parents, so he’s the repair man and general dogsbody for everyone! Lockdown has allowed us to be unavailable so we’re enjoying the rest. Sounds like you’re very busy. Enjoy.

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