Is anyone in the same boat?? - British Heart Fou...

British Heart Foundation

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Is anyone in the same boat??

XlMardyBumlX profile image
25 Replies

Okay so I have posted a few times on here now asking for advice before abd after my surgery.

After my AVR I seemed to have gained a bit of weight, I'm unsure how or why but I'm now the biggest I've ever been. I am just wondering if anyone else got like this?

Also, I feel so down in the dumps and so u happy in myself. I'd have thought post surgery I'd improve in all aspects, including mentally. But I'm the lowest I have ever been and feel totally miserable. Did anyone else struggle this way post surgery? I feel as though no one understands and people just keep calling me moody and emotional but not actually trying to help? To know I'm not the only one will help greatly.

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25 Replies
laura_dropstitch profile image
laura_dropstitchHeart Star

I think depression post surgery is very common from what I've read on this forum. You definitely won't be alone in that! Have you spoken to your doctor about the way you are feeling? It's so important to take care of your mental health as well as your physical, so I would be speaking to my GP if I were you.

Are you on any medication that could be causing weight gain? Might be worth speaking to your doctor or pharmacist about this too, as it could be that there are alternatives. I'm having a battle with my weight at the moment too and know how frustrating it can be.

I hope you can explain your feelings to your nearest and dearest, but remember you can always phone the BHF Helpline if you want to talk to someone with medical know-how and a sympathetic ear. Good luck x

XlMardyBumlX profile image
XlMardyBumlX in reply to laura_dropstitch

Thank you for getting back to me!

I have wanted to go to the doctor but honestly I feel silly if that makes sense?? I feel silly for feeling down about it really.

Medication I am currently not taking anything any more which is making my weight all the more confusing! It's a total nightmare isnt it!

Honestly I didn't know that the helpline was for that too? Thank you so much for your message xx

laura_dropstitch profile image
laura_dropstitchHeart Star in reply to XlMardyBumlX

I know exactly what you mean about feeling silly to go to the doctor, I felt the same. But we shouldn't! My doctor explained that going through a major medical event often leads to depression. Basically (NB, this is my layman's interpretation!) your brain gets used to you having low/anxious thoughts so those paths become well worn and your brain can keep behaving in the same way even when outside circumstances make you think you SHOULD be getting happier. You've got to do something to teach your brain how to behave, whether that's through counselling or medication or something else... Being depressed makes every aspect of staying healthy so much harder, it's really important that you address it. Your GP will agree, I'm sure! X

XlMardyBumlX profile image
XlMardyBumlX in reply to laura_dropstitch

Thank you so much!

I really appreciate all you have said to me. Its helped a lot knowing im not the only one and i'm not just being 'moody' 😂 x

Hi

Is it possible that the weight gain maybe because you have been less active but haven't trimmed your food intake down to make allowances for being unable to get around as much? I did that after pulmonary embolisms and gained a hell of a lot of weight because I was still eating the same amount as if I was active.

jimmyq profile image
jimmyq

If you want to lose weight, I would recommend that you watch the film "Forks Over Knives". It is on Netflix and YouTube. It is about global medical heart research and the findings, including a massive study of 800,000 Chinese people. You might find it helpful, I did.

XlMardyBumlX profile image
XlMardyBumlX in reply to jimmyq

Ive not actually heard of that but will give it a watch! Thank you :)

jimmyq profile image
jimmyq in reply to XlMardyBumlX

I noticed the Mardy Bum. Are you from Manchester?

XlMardyBumlX profile image
XlMardyBumlX in reply to jimmyq

I'm from north wales hahaa so not overly far from manchester!

alheart profile image
alheart

Hi.

A lot of replies all with great advice and support.

It is natural to feel “down” after a major op - which is what you have had.

I was told that some of the feelings are caused by the anaesthetic in the system which takes about six months to full clear.

Initially I felt I was okay because I felt my life had been saved etc.

The low kicked in later and hard

The best thing you can do is go to your GP and talk about it .

It is all about the after care and I know that I had to change my eating and excercise habits after.

I didn’t discover this site till almost a year and a half after my op and wish Inhad discovered it earlier .

Anyway my GO has been great and Inended up having a period of CBT sessions which again really helped.

Don’t every feel silly and know that we are all different in how our bodies react after any surgery.

Don’t want to appear condescending in anyway but post op is just as much a medic team (including you) effort as pre op etc.

So a

Mixture of GP help and this great site is the step in the right direction .

You are not alone in this

All the best

A

XlMardyBumlX profile image
XlMardyBumlX in reply to alheart

Thank you so much for your reply.

I had no idea it took that long to clear out of the system?!

You've really been of great help, i really appreciate it and hope you are doing much better yourself!

alheart profile image
alheart in reply to XlMardyBumlX

Yes thanks am doing well

Last year I suffered from a displaced sternum and it was like reliving the first few seeks post op all over again.

Then in October suffered from spontaneous compartment syndrome on my left arm.

This is where my by-pass was harvested from.

It was a late Saturday night and I didn’t want to go A & E as was feeling down and fed up with it all

My compromise was to go to bed ( time was 11pm) and set my alarm for 3 am and go then

My thinking was this would be the time I would be seen anyway.

I was persuaded to go and que anyway

Going saved my life and my arm!

The medics were great and I needed and helped them to join and work as a team

Cardiology, Orthopaedics and haematology we all learnt a lot.

I learnt that they were there to help and I had to reveal my thoughts and ask.

There is no such thing as a stupid question just incomplete answers.

They also need a chance to do the job they train and love to do

I also learnt that being a good patient is to tell them my feelings and know that I am not waisting their time just helping us all get along the road to recovery

Take care of yourself and your medical teams

Not sure if this helps but my cardiologist told me that they are very good at fixing us physically but not so good on the mental side. He said that we should either talk to GP and get counselling or to a BHF nurse. Please do go to one or the other, you are not alone in the moods, but talking to people helps.

XlMardyBumlX profile image
XlMardyBumlX in reply to

Thank you! I will probably contact a BHF nurse over my dr

Transformerman profile image
Transformerman

I don't know what you are already doing in terms of exercise and diet, but I can't overemphasise just how much both of those influence the mental well-being as well as the weight loss. In an earlier message in this thread, there was a recommendation to watch "Forks over Knives". Its a good one to watch and can point you in the right direction and help motivate - but a word of warning is that some of the content is dated, and some of the evidence is engineered and the some of the conclusions would not be agreed by many Nutritionists. But back to the point, eating well and exercise will outdo anything that your medicines are contributing to weight gain, and typically help combat depressive and mardy feelings. Good luck!

XlMardyBumlX profile image
XlMardyBumlX in reply to Transformerman

At the moment I am taking our dog on 2 30 minute walks a day and an hour bike ride a few times a week (i feel knackered after both of those)

I will definitely give it a watch I'm quite interested to see whats said!

Thank you :)

Nanny72 profile image
Nanny72

I had the opposite problem. I lost weight after my AVR. I was put on a fork mashable diet and some disgusting liquid mix.

Apparently weight gain and weight loss are both common after cardiac surgery.

Have you been to Cardiac Rehab. They do talks about diet and exercise.

I think it stabilises once you get back to normal life. I think feeling down or depressed is something that happens after any major surgery.

Initially you are relieved that it is over, then the anxieties start. My GP has been a total waste of time. My friends and family have been my support. From the beginning they visited and took me out either for short shopping trips or for lunch. Two of them have even taught me to do quilting so a new hobby may help you.

Our local Sports Centre also does Health Walks and these get you out and about and you meet other people. I think these are countrywide as they are run by Macmillan and the Ramblers.

I also have a dog and I have to look after him.

I don't know How long post surgery you are but once I could drive again I felt more 'normal.'

I really hope you feel better soon.

XlMardyBumlX profile image
XlMardyBumlX in reply to Nanny72

Thank you for your reply!

I started cardiac rehab but honestly felt no benefit because there was no structure as to when it was. It was here there and everywhere so ive been going on short bike rides or walks instead.

I feel your pain with the gp mine is just as pointless!

I am 13 weeks today post op. I think thats why i feel silly feeling down in the dumps because i should be better by now!

Thank you for your reply xxx

gal4God profile image
gal4God

Been there after heart surgery but heart surgery isn’t easy but so worth it.

Vikinglady1950 profile image
Vikinglady1950

It's a trauma you going trugh I feels the same after my Sergey in februar.I hope you are I rehab ??? I'm still going every week and it helps me.I'm feeling good now I feel I have got my "mojo " back. I walk 7 miles every day....All the best to you..Jay 🌷🌷

wiltsgirl profile image
wiltsgirl

Hi, don't feel like you are being silly we all have had moments like this. I am 10 weeks post bypass op and for the first 2 weeks I was in pieces and other moments since. I even broke down when I saw my dog for the first time in two weeks. What helped was a bit of self talk. You are here, you survived, we all did here, we all were helped by people whether it be our family, friends and healthcare professionals. You made it! But you must be brave (and it is tough), and ask for help, your physical wellbeing will be greater improved by your mental wellbeing. I am lucky my rehab program is good and structured, but I did have to find out about it myself. Your weight loss I am sure will come with time and patience, I am and still are an impatient patient! Start every day with something positive, such as "I am alive" shouted in to the mirror! Take care and good luck, you will be awesome I am sure x

KazSumm profile image
KazSumm

You are not alone, I went through exactly the same after my AVR. Weight gain, feeling depressed and it’s a funny kind of depression, because you know why your depressed you just can’t find away out the dark tunnel my personality changed I found people so annoying, I didn’t want to be hugged , I became moody nothing was right the frustration was immense. I tried counselling over the phone, but to be honest after a series of questions every time before we started to determine wether I was going to harm anyone or myself, and they didn’t quite get that I knew why I felt this way it was because of the operation, and one day I was leading a normal life and the next dying if only was a few seconds in my car and being told I was going to have open heart surgery is quite life changing, absolutely terrifying , it all happen so quickly and I had PTSD. The goods news is I managed to get out the tunnel with help from my GP and discovering I had low vitamin D levels which contribute to depression . I didn’t have any follow up after my surgery from my consultant till last month and that was so reassuring, my heart is fine and he took me off the beta blockers, boy that has made such a difference, after only a few days of not taking them I started to feel like getting back to my old self. I still have the odd day it’s a bit like PMT now and I can shake it off. It’s not perfect yet but I’m on the right road . I was given anti depressants but I decided not to take them it’s the one medication that freaks me out, I don’t know why, but I set a target that if I wasn’t getting over it I would take them to get me over that hill, and if I ever felt I was sliding back down I would take them.

Now I have to loose the weight I’ve put on a few stone and I’m the heaviest I’ve ever been, I lack the motivation and find after work some days Im just to knackered, the better weather has made a difference and I’m going on holiday in September so although my bikini days are over I do need to make an effort 😂 it’s hard for family and friends to understand what you experienced and life does get back to normal pretty quickly and I have had the comment “well it’s all over now”smile and inhale 😆 .

I’m post op 10 months now the good news is you do come out of that dark tunnel and it’s lovely to see the light, we are different now and that’s not a bad thing, talking to others who have the heart tee shirt ( this site has been a god send)only these people can truly understand how we feel, and we can be honest about all the stupid little things that worry us and know we are understood and not judged.The depression after any heart issues and surgery is only briefly touched on, I think it’s a massive side effect that should be discussed in more depth and included more in rehab .So you are not alone , it’s not you it’s what we have been through. You will find yourself, I promise. Keep talking to us on here it’s the best therapy out there cause we understand. Now I’m going to have some chocolate 🍫

Because I’m starting my diet tomorrow 😂

Hope this has shined a light for you love Kaz❤️💖💕

XlMardyBumlX profile image
XlMardyBumlX in reply to KazSumm

Thank you so so much for your lovely reply and continuous support on my posts!! Unfortunately notifications arent coming through so only just saw this!!

It has honestly made me feel 10 times better and so glad you are doing well now!! Xx

KazSumm profile image
KazSumm in reply to XlMardyBumlX

Glad my reply helped you.

I’m not doing very well in the diet area, ate 2 ice creams yesterday and just had a Chinese 😂 but I don’t feel depressed 😝 hope you have had some sunny 😎 moments though the dark clouds, they will disappear hang on in there Kaz💕💖❤️

XlMardyBumlX profile image
XlMardyBumlX in reply to KazSumm

2 ice creams sound good to me 😁 glad you are feeling much better 😘 having a few bad day at the moment but i'm staying positive! Xxx

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