I'm new here, and feeling resentful for it, is that normal?
I'm 55, don't smoke, drink, fit-ish, bmi ok and eat healthily mostly (love butter). Three weeks ago while taking our son to a University application day I had some strange numbness in my arms and face. When I got home I took a couple of aspirin thinking it could be a mild stroke. Felt fine, went to bed.
Next morning I felt fine until I was doing some weeding when the arm pain came back and then the chest pain started. As it didn't go when I sat down my husband drove me to A and E. At first I think they thought I was having a panic attack. When they gave me morphine and aspirin I felt much better. ECG was fine. Blood pressure fine.
Blood tests showed I had had a heart attack. They performed a angiogram, but didn't need to stent, so I felt lucky. Sent me packing with a sack load of drugs.
However, being home and resting is hard! I desperately want to go back to my old life. I want to go back to work asap but fear that I may have another attack and make an idiot of myself. I have had a couple of occasions where my arms feel heavy and weak and feel restricted round my mid-rift. Each time after eating. Taking my GTN and aspirin helped but could have been a placebo effect for all I know. This has happened about three times since being home.
I have an MRI booked on 22nd but it'll be a while before I see my consultant.
I'm grateful for the timing of my HA. Our local hospital A and E has been closed overnight, but it also increases my anxiety.
I'm usually a very laid back and optimistic person so I'm shocked at how angry and sad I feel, especially when I read other stories on here and I know how fortunate I am. I don't want to feel a victim, or have to be 'careful', or worry that my kids and husband are worried. I don't want any of it!
So, my question is... how/when do you stop feeling like this? When can I return to work and feel confident again?
I will perfectly understand if you reply with, 'get over yourself!' Surprised you've stuck with it this long!
Sorry to whinge... and just a side note - a more positive one - our NHS is bloody fantastic!