Eating well is so important but .....

[chloe40]

Our appetite is one of the first things to change after a close loss.

Would you say your appetite is better now, assuming it has been sometime since you lost your loved one?

Chloe

[Caza]

yes, I made myself eat after because I’d lost so much weight & people were starting to worry about me. Now I eat but don’t have much passion for it. I very rarely have people/family over to eat. My passion for cooking never returned.

[chloe40 Administrator in reply to Caza]

I can understand that @Caza, it's the last thing on your mind when loss and trauma happens. Shame you've lost your passion for it though.

I do get not wanting to invite people over anymore, I'm the same, it is a shame as I used to love cooking too, but as long as you're well, you must do what's right for you.

x

[Caza in reply to chloe40]

It’s sad though. I quite liked the person that I was before. Not so keen on the person that I’ve become. It’s quite strange now, because we have moved nobody knows the person before. They know that I don’t like cooking won’t bake & hate dinner parties. So I buy things for fetes etc…but my OH will say she’s a great cook she used make so on & so fourth & we always had people at our house we had great dinner parties bbq etc…. Not one person has asked so what’s changed. Which I’m pleased about I probably give off vibes as don’t go there.

[chloe40 Administrator in reply to Caza]

Don't put yourself down, you're a great person, so many skills to offer.

Maybe you could come to like it again Caza one day .....

Sounds like OH is very proud of your cooking and hostess skills x Strange that no-one asked why you don't now though. Although must say it's probably a good thing neighbours don't know, otherwise you'd feel under pressure to answer or just not!

[Caza in reply to chloe40]

Thank you. It doesn’t feel like that. But I am what I am. I don’t try to adapt too what others want & if I don’t want to do something I wont do it no excuses I just say thank you but no thank you.

[Caza in reply to chloe40]

why have you stopped Chloe?

[chloe40 Administrator in reply to Caza]

When I moved and then I was ill, I just lost the will for anything for a very long time.

Now I don't have the enthusiasm, it all seems like too much work now, sadly.

x

[Caza in reply to chloe40]

That’s sad. I think for me it was the three life changes happening in just four years finished me off.

I think most people/neighbours either know or they see something in me that stops them from asking.

[Turnipgirl]

Here we took moving from the old place as an opportunity for a fresh start healthwise and the freezer, cupboards and fridge are packed full of various fruit and veg!

Saturday just gone I stocked up on veg for this week at the greengrocers in Newport and most of it has been eaten up!

Today's dinner was haggis, mashed swede from the swede I bought in the greengrocers on Saturday and mushy peas which we both enjoyed and some red cabbage as well!

[chloe40 Administrator in reply to Turnipgirl]

Well no need to worry about your diet Turnipgirl sounds great!

[Turnipgirl in reply to chloe40]

Earlier on in the year we used to go to a carvery pub for Sunday lunch and on a few occasions I had people be rude to me on a number of occasions about the amount of veg on my plate and it was one Sunday back in February and I had had enough of it and we decided not to go back to that pub again and haven't since and lots of other people followed us as well saying how its rude saying about how much people have put on their plates and it's damaging as well and no one else's business!

Good news as I have got a phone interview on Thursday for 11.15am with legal and general for a life insurance job and then one next Monday with them at their offices in the city centre and one with British Gas at 9am next Tuesday which is nice as with 9am once it's done it's done for the day and then next Thursday one in Newport when I will call in at the greengrocers and fill up on veg again!

Early swim this morning as I have an interview this afternoon at 3pm and no way was I stopping in waiting for 3pm to arrive so decided to come out early and do a swim at 10am for a change and come back home for lunchtime to get ready for 3pm!

I am impressed with my progress as this time last year I wouldn't have dared to have come out early but now it's second nature like I have done it all my life!

[chloe40 Administrator in reply to Turnipgirl]

Well I think you need an award for the amount of interviews you have attended, well done.

Good luck with this weeks interviews too and the veg eating

[Sandradsn]

I lost 2.1/2 stone and everyone said how ill I looked,its gradually gone back on but not by healthy eating.I eat far too many sugary foods ,but feel the need to treat myself.I now have covid for 3rd time and feeling really down today,its my birthday week and had some nice things planned.I'm also missing loved ones.

[chloe40 Administrator in reply to Sandradsn]

Hi Sandradsn

I'm glad you put some weight back on. I'm the opposite, savoury foods and too much picking.

I can't believe you have Covid again Sandra, you must feel very run down x Such a shame your feeling poorly during your birthday week.

Yes, when we're unwell, we do miss our loved ones.

Take care x

[Turnipgirl in reply to Sandradsn]

Many years ago when I was 20 and my brother was 13 he got given a box of Roses chocolates from someone on his paper round and he ate the whole box in one sitting and received a telling off from our mother who told him that was just greedy!

Thing is with greedy it takes one to know one as kids copy everything their parents do and they are greedy for power and control and punished me when I wouldn't give them their own way after I refused to change my plans after they demanded I stay at a job when I didn't want to and I never did stay either and I was 42 at the time!

Thing is I don't have to stay at places when I don't want to!

Those Roses chocolates nowadays aren't the same are they as they were delicious when they had the coffee creams that are no more!

Here we sometimes have a tub of good old quality street on hand!

I find if sweet stuff isn't around I don't want it!

[Bingofox007]

lost so much weight through not eating when my husband died, no appetite at all. I used to have an occasional roll up cigarette then and lived on them after. Gave it up after a few months with no prob. Feel I may have binged on food for comfort at times, probably drank too much alcohol too. Like Caza, my love of cooking and baking has never returned. My husband used to joke if I’d burned my hand on the oven it was gonna be delicious, I was always catching my wrists on the oven shelves. I do actually look at those scars often, they were never intentional. I remember my mum saying a few months after he died that they never came round for takeaways and meals any more, I just lost the love of food. It was the social interaction too. My husband was the ‘glue’ Life just fell apart without him. 11years this Monday coming. MOT due that day, I always book it that day as I couldn’t get any worse news. Take everyone. 🦊x

[chloe40 Administrator in reply to Bingofox007]

Yes Bingofox007

Loss seems to have this effect on many of us but I don't understand why we should lose the will to bake, strange that, I imagine there seems no point.

I totally get the cigs and alcohol, perfectly understandable.

Oh yes, the oven shelf burns, me too, but no-one has ever said 'It would taste delicious' that's so lovely.

11 years, that's a long time Bingo. Hope all goes well with your health check.

x

[Bingofox007]

cars MOT not mine lol. Thank you 🦊xx

[chloe40 Administrator]

Ha ha lol! Well that made me smile, I hope you did too!

I have a medical check up soon and assumed you meant the same

x

[Turnipgirl in reply to chloe40]

Thankfully I had my check up back in March and everything was fine and no problems there and they said they will see me next year for another blood test!

Back in May I got told that my brother who is only just 40 has been diagnosed with adult onset diabetes after eating too many boxes of Roses chocolates in the one sitting and getting everything handed to him by scummy mummy and I have ended up sorry for him as scummy mummy won't be around forever!

Thankfully my blood results for that were fine and no problems there!

I appreciate the things I have and I swear on a stack of bibles that the things I own like the furniture I bought for here were bought with my own hard earned cash and so was the family car as well and learning to drive so no need for scummy mummy poking her beak in!

What upset me was being unkind and unfair over things but where there's no sense there's no feeling either with people like that!

[chloe40 Administrator in reply to Turnipgirl]

That's reassuring Turnipgirl

Yes, have to watch the sugar as we get older but you have lots of veggies

[Turnipgirl in reply to chloe40]

Yesterday evening I came home from a long day out at a country park and a 10 mile walk which I really enjoyed and made myself chicken along with the last of the red cabbage and turnips which I enjoyed as I had sandwiches for lunch at the country park yesterday deciding to give the pub lunch idea a miss yesterday and go another day which was the right decision!

It saved money and it saved on throwing out wasted veg doing that!

[chloe40 Administrator in reply to Turnipgirl]

Yes Turnipgirl

You made a good decision x

[Bingofox007 in reply to chloe40]

I did smile. Hope yours goes well. Take care 🦊x

[mozziesmom]

No mine hasn't gotten better, at all, I am struggling to get in enough calories. I just don't have the energy, hubby tries to get me to eat but yeah I just can't.

[chloe40 Administrator]

It's understandable mozziesmom

but perhaps you could try small portions little and often, or anything you like to tempt your appetite. It will return in time but please try x