How has this week been for our members?

[chloe40]

I'm hoping it's been at least a little positive but know so many old and new members are suffering.

Always here for you

Chloe

[Turnipgirl]

Here things are a lot better than they have been and today we are off out for Sunday lunch then something nice will have happened!

Yesterday was a nice day out in Gloucester and a catch up which we all enjoyed and one of the girls said to me how I had been entitled to have felt ungrateful during times when I thought I was getting things and no I wasn't and they were snatched away in a cruel manner!

I said how I had been upset when I had been told to be grateful for things after I have had horrible and unfair things happen to me like the job at the pharmacy that got snatched in an unfair manner and my mate said how I am entitled to feel ungrateful when unfair things happen like that and how they have had times horrible things have happened as well and had had episodes of being supposedly ungrateful afterwards as well!

What's ungrateful anyway was my question and what I came up with was that it's a label like the bitter one used to shut people up who have genuine cause to feel that way and how I feel ungrateful is a term warranted for those who crib over minor and petty things when life is fine for them say like not getting a chocolate bar and cribbing about their circumstances supposedly not being fair and wanting more and feeling like its not fair that I feel really is ungrateful not someone who is upset because genuinely horrible things have happened like someone's died or they've lost their home or job like what I went through.

When I was going through the process of getting evicted last year and losing that job in the pharmacy I had episodes when I supposedly was ungrateful but there was good reason for it!

It was silly things that wound me up and would bring the supposed ungratefulness to the surface!

Nowadays I look back and feel great that I was angry for a reason when those things happened and no I wasn't supposedly being ungrateful for having been upset as when horrible things strike at the time it feels like the world has ended!

We all laughed about that care home and how they tried to fob me off when I complained claiming people were being unkind just because it was Monday and said it was pathetic and just to shut me up when I dared to open my mouth and complain and said I was right to have left!

Going forwards what I intend to do is fit in the things say like going out for day visits in that I wouldn't have been able to do if I had stayed at that rubbish care home and we talked about a routine to replace the one that was lost when the care home job ended!

I'm glad I saw their true face before it was too late and it really would have hurt so I feel they did me a favour when they bullied me early in the job and shouted at me but at the time I was devastated though.

[chloe40 Administrator in reply to Turnipgirl]

Hi Turnipgirl

Well I am impressed with how you make the most of your weekends and enjoy relaxation and good food, lovely!

Yes, you've had your fair share of worries and unpleasantness, but you've come through it and it's great to see how you've moved forward in life.

Enjoy your day

x

[Turnipgirl in reply to chloe40]

This morning I decided to start as I mean to go on and went for a 5 mile walk first thing which I enjoyed and turned anger and resentment over that care home job into compassion by thinking through things from those who bullied mes perspective and came to the conclusion that they did it as they are very very unhappy people who are angry at their lot in life and saw something in myself that they were jealous of hence the lashing out over the stupidest of things like the unlabelled pasta salad which was ridiculous!

I'm not saying I think it's right to bully but it was just to get an understanding for my own sanity of when people treat others badly its to do with how they feel about themselves not to do with those it's directed at!

By accident I do feel they did me a favour when they showed their true face early as because I had only been there a couple of weeks I could leave immediately and not have to give them a weeks notice say if I had been there more than a month!

The Monday excuse was ridiculous though and it was to shut me up and fob me off when I dared to complain but I'm glad I stood up to them that Friday evening when I was shouted at for no reason which wasn't very nice!

I have done job hunting this morning and put music on to make it more bearable which helped and had lunch in today with leftover casserole veg from the freezer along with pasta and sauce which was delicious!

What we do is do a compromise saying if we are in we will have what's there from the cupboard or the freezer for lunch like today as we were spoilt over the weekend like the cat is, going out to lunch so it was fair enough to have lunch from the freezer and the cupboard for today.

Those staff who bullied me weren't nice to the residents either and would order them around like cattle whereas I would ask did they want to get up and they could say yes or no for themselves and residents had commented on how I always was cheerful when I dealt with them and polite in how I asked them what would they like me to do for them and not order like the others did!

I feel strongly that you ask you don't order!

[Caza]

TBH I haven’t had a great week at all. 😞. My cousins daughter died by her own hand & it’s knocked me for six.

I also got a text from my ex daughter in law, she no longer lives in this country, to say she’s over in England & she’d like to meet with me. It was so lovely to meet up with her. I’ve known her since she was 17 & she lived with us for many yrs. I’ve missed her. But it made me reminisce which isn’t good for me.

3 of my close friends are terminally ill. I myself haven’t been well & that needs me to make some decisions & then I had a stupid accident that’s put my arm out of action 🤦‍♀️as well. The sports centre that I go to twice a week shut over night. So for the past week I’ve done zilch. I’ve gone from 10,000 steps a day to almost nothing. I know I’ve got to get myself out of it. I went to a party last night I really didn’t want to go but that wasn’t an option so I threw myself into it. No-one would have guessed how awful I felt.

I’ve had a stern word with myself & tomorrow I’ll be back fighting 🤞

[Turnipgirl in reply to Caza]

I'm sorry to hear you have had a bad week.

It's always the way isn't it how these horrible things come in the same blow!

Well done for going to the party anyway! I go with the idea that when I go out and do things at least something nice will have happened as I was nervous about going to the Tredegar House festival last week but I went anyway and really enjoyed it and the evening plays at the village hall which I enjoyed and I always feel glad I made the effort!

Thursday coming the swimming pool I go to will be shut as there's an event on so I decided to go Wednesday instead as well as my usual Tuesday and Friday.

[chloe40 Administrator in reply to Caza]

That's a really tough week Caza

How awful for your cousin, family and you, I really am so sorry!

Your meeting with your ex Dil must have been stressful even though you have missed her, and as you say, it does rake up thoughts and emotions of the past.

I knew you hadn't been well {{{hugs}}} and you could well do without the accident, I hope your not in too much pain x

Three friends, that's really hard.

Bless, I really feel for you Caza , always here for you so please offload whenever you want to.

x