Sensitivity

[Downinil]

My mom and my husband have been gone for years. Mom 3; husband 9. I feel their presence at times and I’m heartbroken when I notice these feelings. Does anyone have advice on coping with the brutal heartache? I’ve already written them both letters.

[chloe40 Administrator]

Hello @Downhill

A very warm welcome to Bereavement Care & Share.

Reminders of the ones we loved can be really painful as you found, or a happy time bringing good memories. It's not unusual to feel their presence in many areas. Of course that will depend on your relationship with your Mom and husband. I find these feelings reassuring, it makes me feel that they are with me even though I didn't have a great relationship with my father.

I feel you'll need a strong distraction, something that takes your mind away from this as your finding them so distressing.

You can also talk this through with a Bereavement therapist, who will support you through this.

Please do keep in touch, if you feel you can share more, we're here to help <3

Chloe

[Caza]

l love feeling their presence although I get that it’s bittersweet.

As for brutal heartache for me it’s distraction. If it’s really bad I take myself off to the cinema. Somehow sitting in the dark on my own with a film running seems to calm me. I can’t scream or cry & after awhile I’ll start to watch the film. Swimming is also great at distracting me. Long walks through woods or parkland or the beach. They calm me & tire me.

Find something that works for you x

[Weatherwoman]

I don't think that I will be much help, but I lost my Mom in 2020, and my Sig. Other in 2022! He passed last Nov. I am heartbroken, and wish that I could feel his presense --sometimes I do, but it's fleeting! I, also, have to move tomorrow to another state in the United States & am Scared & my Anxiety is worse, and am depressed due to the two people in my life who were my "Anchor's," are no longer there! I have a Grief Counselor that helps some, but will have to find another Grief Counselor as will be out of the State that my Grief Counselor is now in! It's a Struggle & you are Not alone!