upsetting dream

[Bingofox007]

my husband passed away 10 yrs ago this year the day after his 47th birthday and the good memories are a comfort now and the bad ones fading but last night I had such a upsetting dream about him. I dreamt I couldn’t leave the undertakers as I felt closer to him there, they said I could see him and when I went into the room it was like he was alive sitting in a chair, he told me he didn’t want to be burnt snd was going to run away. He held me so close. He was found by the police in the grounds of a closed local mental institution and they brought him back to a waiting room where I held his hand and kept telling him he had to go because he was so cold. It was still dark when I woke up, in shock I think, but now I’m up snd about I can’t stop crying. Dreams can be so real, although obviously that would never happen but to see him snd see him scared and feel him so cold to touch in my dream was distressing but I feel so bereaved today. Sorry to offload a dream but I just wanted to Talk to someone about how I feel. Thank you for reading this far. With love 🦊x

[kenster1 Volunteer]

hi sorry for your loss nice that you have these comforting dreams I`m still waiting for mine 23-14-5-3 years later from significant family losses I`ve had have had the odd one here and there and woke up in tears that it wasn`t real but few and far between.

[Bingofox007 in reply to kenster1]

bless ya. It offered no comfort as he was scared in it. Dreams feel so real. They are few and far between as you say and can be a comfort but but last nights truely upset me.

Take care. Thank you for your reply 🦊x

[Hidden in reply to Bingofox007]

hi im sorry your struggling like this i often have dreams which are comfort dreams when im having bad time not all about dead loved ones,but wake up wanting to go back in the dream and sometimes in tears, my step dad recently came to me and comforted me and i woke up feeling very safe, why dont you try focus on the happy memories before you sleep unless its too painful but it may stop the bad dreams and give you good ones its your minds way as your missing and needing him so is in your dreams, 🤗🌟x

[Bingofox007 in reply to Hidden]

thank you for your reply and kind words snd thoughts. I’ve woken today feeling ‘back to normal’. I can usually plod through the days with positive happy memories although his last moments are always there in the fore, something must have been going on in my head or life that just brought about a dream like that. Thank you to everyone for their support, it helps so much. Warmer weather soon snd gardening, that was always my thing and so will again have that focus on horizon. Take care 🦊x

[chloe40 Administrator]

Hello Bingofox007

Welcome to you!

I can empathise, it's very disturbing when this happens and takes a few days to

get over, really sorry you're feeling so distressed today.

I've had a dream about my Dad after he'd been gone many years and it is distressing, so please take care and try to distract yourself this weekend.

Let us know how you are please.

Chloe <3

[Bingofox007 in reply to chloe40]

thank you for yr reply, I’m blitzing the kitchen cupboards and washing cushion covers and dusting the walls and ceilings! Lol. I’m doing alright. You take care 🦊x

[Caza]

I dream every night, some good some not so good & some that are horrific. Often in my dreams my daughter is little & I know she’s going to die in the future so I have to watch her 24/7 but then I don’t & she disappears. I search & search but she’s nowhere to be found & it’s all my fault. I wake up sweating & in a panic. That’s the constant not so good one. I’ll spare you the horrific ones.

As Chloe says distraction helps. That really wasn’t pleasant for you. People have said to me that they’re only dreams but they’re really not are they. Big hugs x

[Bingofox007 in reply to Caza]

bless your heart, thank you for your reply and for sharing and understanding, as I understand you too Yes, they happen when we’re asleep but they’re not just dreams, it’s grief and upset manifesting in a different way and has a very real affect on us. I’m chilling now as I’ve beavered away all day and my dogs need a hug too. Take care 🦊x