Did you have a complicated relationsh... - Bereavement Care ...

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Did you have a complicated relationship with the family member who passed?

chloe40 profile image
chloe40Administrator
15 Replies

Life is messy, and we don’t always get along with our loved ones due to differences in beliefs, life choices or spouses, despite our best efforts. When you lose someone who you were close to but were on poor terms with, it can be very hard to grieve and deal with your regret at the same time. In these situations, you may need help.

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chloe40 profile image
chloe40
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15 Replies
kenster1 profile image
kenster1Volunteer

had a very difficult time with my dad apart from the last 8 years.

chloe40 profile image
chloe40Administrator in reply tokenster1

That's tough Kenny, I am amazed how many of us do, including myself, it still there!

Dolphin14 profile image
Dolphin14

I had a very difficult relationship with my mother. As much as she had hurt me I was there with her when she passed.

❤️🐬

chloe40 profile image
chloe40Administrator in reply toDolphin14

I totally get this Dolphin14

Me too!

Dolphin14 profile image
Dolphin14 in reply tochloe40

I would like to add I have no regrets. I'm at peace that I did the proper thing. I take no blame for her behavior.

I also see that this question can be taken another way. In some relationships people question their actions. " could I have done better, did I contribute to the relationship tension " etc. That scenario I imagine can take more healing time.

Thank you for the post

❤️❤️

chloe40 profile image
chloe40Administrator in reply toDolphin14

Nor should you have regrets Dolphin14 and please don't questions your actions <3

You did the right thing by being there at the end sadly, I didn't even have that opportunity.

Chloe<3

Dolphin14 profile image
Dolphin14 in reply tochloe40

Thank you Chloe

I hope you are at peace with your situation?

chloe40 profile image
chloe40Administrator in reply toDolphin14

It's taken a long time @dolphin but I now feel accepting of it, with regrets sadly.

Chloe <3

Dolphin14 profile image
Dolphin14 in reply tochloe40

❤️❤️

Caza profile image
Caza

no, I had a good relationship with my daughter sister & mum. Also many friends who have now died.

As for my father & brother, they let me down so badly when my daughter died, all for money, that I managed to cut them out of my life completely. I felt absolutely nothing when my father died, to me he’d died when he did what he did. & as for my brother I don’t know wither he’s dead or alive & tbh I don’t care. I did hear that he was made bankrupt & lost all the money that he stole from myself & my sister. Justice.

Starrlight profile image
Starrlight

My mom died on Jan 29 of this year. She had Alzheimer’s so there was difficulty in understanding and communicating. Also when she could speak still, one of the last things I can recall was very hurtful to me. She used to follow and tell my husband she will kill him and I know that it was from difficulty with confused thinking for her but I am not sure why she told me that I don’t care about anyone but myself … I’m trying to believe it was not really true to her in her heart. Shortly after she said something about loving me; it was something that touched me that I wish to hold onto yet I can’t recall exactly but that’s okay because I knew it was in love. ❤️ ☺️

Starrlight profile image
Starrlight in reply toStarrlight

Im up because in the middle of this night I woke up to a voice in my head telling me “don’t worry, it is not a big deal”, then she called me by the special name she alone would call me. It is amazing. I’m so grateful 🥹

chloe40 profile image
chloe40Administrator in reply toStarrlight

Oh wow Starrlight

That's wonderful, I'm sure you feel so comforted x

Starrlight profile image
Starrlight in reply tochloe40

yes

chloe40 profile image
chloe40Administrator in reply toStarrlight

That's so sad @Starlight

Try and hold on to the loving memories you have, hard as it is. I too remember the hurtful memories but I'm trying to remember the happier times too xx

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