Hi everyone! I lost mym 9 years ago (3 days after mybirthday). I have never really dealt with the grief properly, and feel so selfish.
I have dreams of my late mum dying in front of me over and over again... like I am being punished.
Anyway I finally got bereavement councelling around a month ago, I feel a little better, but still alone. I only have my two children, and no other family or support network.
Any advice or support is welcome 
hi twinkle toes so sorry to hear of your loss.its my mums 10th anniversary next week and its still very much a painful loss to us all.my mrs mother died in front of her as well when she was only 7 years old.things like that you don't forget but over time they become more manageable to deal with.cruise bereavement are great and ive just finished last week but we can go back and back for as long as it takes.hopefully here to you will be greatly supported.god bless and take care.
Hello TwinkleToes8348
A very warm welcome to Care & Share,
Having such vivid dreams of your Mum's passing, must have been very traumatic for you, really so sorry.
When I first read your message I thought definitely need to see a Counsellor but I see you have been through this and really glad it has helped. Unfortunately, when it finishes, we become all to aware that we're on our own again. We can be your support, anytime you want it, so don't rule that out but you could do with becoming involved outside the home. Is there any possibility that you might get involved in a playgroup or school activities/volunteering, anything that will give you the chance to chat with others will help. While you're on your own you have too much time to think and need other outlets, you don't always want to be talking about grief but if you do we're here.
We've so many lovely members and volunteers here, you'll always get an answer to your posts.
Always here for you.
Chloe x
TwinkleToes8348, I am sorry for the loss of your mum; I think losing our parents is one of the hardest things we will ever go through (the only thing I can think of that would be worse is loss of a child). I am glad that you are seeking counseling; there is also a group called GriefShare that is very helpful, maybe you can find one in your area. Please know that what you are experiencing is normal; it is not punishment!! Even when processed "properly" (I do not think there is any such thing - grief is different for each one of us and depends largely on our relationship with the one who has passed), grief takes many forms and can take many years to get to a place where you are not completely undone when thinking of the loved one. I will pray that you find sweet relief in your memories of your mum!
Keith 19-11-45 to 29-01-2017
Feeling down this evening 
