1 YEAR DEATH ANNIVERSARY OF MY: Life/Sister Soulmate Of 29 yrs. 🙃..the upside down face, is Exactly how I feel

[Cocoon3]

January 20th will FOREVER be the worst day of the year.... EVERY YEAR ! My best friend (58 yrs old,) unbelievably suddenly passed away, died, gave up... 1 yr Ago today. We were 1. Every weekend for 4 years she has came over to my house with me and my husband (ever since I attempted suicide 4 years ago.. ) she is the one that kept me alive..after she made a silent Vow to me -that her weekends were to b spent w/ me forever so I would never feel alone as I did on that dreadful night,so dark. & So For 4 yrs her beautiful smile, ,sarcastic way, famous lines, her love & talks & TONS of Laughter filled my home. Now, for 1 yr the home I once had, that when you walked in you felt love all around you seems to no longer exists.. if I talk about her and bring up her name my husband I guess it’s his way of coping with the death but he doesn’t want to talk about her... just push her under the rug but to me that’s bull**** if you love somebody especially for 29 years if you truly love someone and then they pass away (they die) and you don’t talk about them...2me that means to me that they really didn’t mean anything to you or didn’t impact your life just my opinion... no family nor so-called friends have attempted to fill this horrific VOID. Sooo Lonely !!!!!!! Every room of my house, piece of furniture, TV shows, songs..,.. everything & everywhere... she is supposed to be here . For the last 11 months,not one family member or so called friend has attempted to fill the VOID... my husband is not a communicator so now our house went from laughter and fun loving and sharing to tension anger walking on egg shells no laughter

**** So Many Milestones WE WERE SUPPOSE TO DO TOGETHER *****

[Greyone]

Hi Cocoon3 and welcome to Bereavement Care & Share.

I feel deeply saddened by your loss. Of someone so close, loving and inseparable. Such people seem to be a rarity in all of our lives and I think that is because you both truly valued everything given freely.

I have not been that lucky since my mother passed away over two years ago. Such people are unique and irreplaceable so I think it is understandable that you need to and should reach out amongst your family and friends for someone like her.

But in your grief, I think you must be patient. Reaching out to someone in grief takes many good qualities, especially in such a way as your friend. It is a skill that few genuinely have and only some learn.

You have already done the best thing by reaching out to your nearest and dearest. But rather than look for someone like your friend who is truly irreplaceable, accept help from those who can help in any small way.

Someone like cruse bereavement care (cruse.org.uk/) on 0808 808 1677 can help. The helpline is open Monday-Friday 9.30-5pm (excluding bank holidays), with extended hours on Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday evenings, when we’re open until 8 pm. Or The Samaritans (samaritans.org/) on 116 123 are available 24/7.

Are there any local bereavement or other support groups near you that meet on a regular basis. There you may find what you need.

Good luck with your search and I really do wish you all the luck and hope you will stay in touch with the community here.

[Cocoon3 in reply to Greyone]

Thank you 😢

[chloe40 Administrator]

Hello Cocoon3

Really so sad for you {{{hugs}}} the loss of your dear friend and sister is still very raw indeed. Being so close and the reasons she played such a huge part in your life are very clear.

In my humble opinion, the reason your husband doesn't speak of her is because it brings back the memories of the dreadful night he could have lost you, and not because he doesn't care for your sister. It's so very hard to find the right words for some people, they bury it deeper and deeper.

I know how much pain you're going through but may I make a suggestion? that you somehow find a way of getting him to talk about what happened that night, and your sister, so although they are connected, it's two different things. If that's not possible, maybe Counselling together may help.

You really need positive help to get you through, you pain is so great right now x

We're always here for you, so you are not alone.

Chloe x

[Cocoon3 in reply to chloe40]

😘❤️

[kenster1 Volunteer]

hi ive been thinking of you today.god bless and take care.

[Cocoon3 in reply to kenster1]

Thank you !!!!! It’s been pretty rough and then other negative things, it makes me feel good that you are thinking of me 💕

[Hidden]

Hello Cocoon3 , I am so sorry to hear of the loss of your sister/BF/soulmate only a year ago. This is so little time when you are grieving for someone so close to you. Keep reaching out for support, if family/friends are not able to offer the support you need then maybe grief counselling may help you when you feel ready. Keep talking to your husband as chloe40 has suggested.

You are strong Cocoon3, please try to take one day at a time if you can and be kind to yourself. You are not alone, many people here (myself included) have been through very similar. Hold on Cocoon3, {{big hugs}},

Lottie x