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Bereavement Care & Share

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Hi I'm new to this, in usually on the depression and anxiety pages. Lost my grandma this morning and she took care of me from the time I was 4 years old and I'm now 18. I literally watched the life leave her body, tried to look in her eyes and there was nothing and I can't get that image out of my head. I loved her so much and I literally have never lived without her I don't know what I'm supposed to do, she was the only person who knew what I liked to eat and wear and what I liked to do. I'm having a hard time sleeping and just dealing with it in general, does anyone have any advice for me. My boyfriend is with me and my actual mother and my little brother but I'm alone. None is ever going to live me like she did and I know that and it's just really hard to deal with, I just want to sleep.

4 Replies

Hi misfitt. So sorry to hear your news. At such a young age it must be difficult to understand how and why you feel this way. Losing such a person who has cared for you is always dreadful. Coping is difficult at any age, even for me in my early 50's.

Life experience does help a little but you are young and I hope resilient. You have people around you and that is very important. I hope they are there to support you, help you grieve and cope with the future and that you have shoulders to cry on.

I also hope you feel you can reach out to them and other professionals who are trained to help. Asking for help is also a very good thing whenever you feel like talking to people you can trust and professionals (Samaritans 116 123 & Cruse Bereavement Care 0808 808 1677) you may even have local resource if you need to talk face to face. The family you have around you should be able to help you get in touch with others as well.

Take care and come back whenever you need {{{hugs}}} I'm sure others will be along soon.


Oh misfitt {{{hugs}}} bless you. You've had such a shock, the image you have in your head at this moment will fade and be replaced with a loving memory of your dear Grandma. You'll go though many emotions, up and down for quite some time but it is it very early days and at the moment you need go get through one day at a time, coping with each concern as it happens. You've spent much of your life being cared for by your Grandma, so of course your love is very deep for her.

We're here always, chat with us whenever you wish, you'll find lots of support here.

Take good care of yourself.


It's so early, all you can do right now is look after yourself, eat, sleep and carry on. All the emotions are too raw and jumbled to make much sense. Just know that she loved you dearly and wants only the best for your future. After a little time has passed you can begin to work through and with the greiving process.

It will get better though, it really will. 💛

Dear Misfitt,

I'm so sorry for your loss. <3 I was also in the room when my husband's grandpa passed away. It's a strange feeling seeing someone pass from this life into the next. I'm a bereavement doula and a lay counselor, so let me assure you that what you are feeling is perfectly normal. Here is a wonderful list of resources to help guide you through your grief that I usually share with my clients. I'd also recommend you find some kind of outlet for your grief like a support group and/or individual counseling. GriefShare is a wonderful support group organization.

Again, I'm very sorry for your loss. Know you are in my prayers! <3

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