New girlfriend told me she has genital HSV-1 - advic... - BASHH

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New girlfriend told me she has genital HSV-1 - advice and information needed!

Gaijin101 profile image
4 Replies

I am a 22 year old male living in Japan, i have recently started dating a girl and everything is going really well. However when i suggested that she came back to my apartment, she very bravely told me she wanted to take things slow, then proceeded to tell me that she had received HSV-1 (usually oral) but a genital version (not HSV-2) while at university. Which i later found out was quite common - unbeknown to me Naturally at first i was taken aback because this was the first time that STIs had come up in my life, but i was also impressed and happy about her bravery and honesty in telling me about it all. I told her i was prepared to work around it, however i would have zero clue how to do that!

My first issue was deciding my own risk factor, as although i would like to be in a relationship with her, a life of abstinence was not for me, yet if i was to engage in sexual contact, my main worry would be passing it onto future (if any) sexual partners. I was wondering if anyone had any advice or experience with how to deal with this situation?

Secondly i would like to clear some info, naturally my first call was looking up exactly the difference in the two Herpes viruses and how best to approach this - this has led me to some questions.

1. If i had cold sores (which i thought was just very common) as a child does this mean i have oral HSV-1?

2. If i do have oral HSV-1 can i still get genital HSV-1?

3. What are the average chances of getting genital HSV-1 while there are 0 outbreaks?

Any advice or personal experience on this matter would be greatly appreciated as i like to think this could become something special, but due to my inexperience in these matters i was taken aback!

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markh57 profile image
markh57

Hi Gaijin

Respect to your girlfriend for being brave honest and responsible. Sounds like a keeper.

To have a go at your questions according to my understanding:

1. Yes if you've had cold sores the vast majority of these are caused by HSV1. There's a small chance of them being from HSV2 but not very likely

2. No, if you've had HSV1 at one site you will have antibodies to it and cant get re-infected at another site. However having HSV2 doesn't give you immunity to HSV1 nor vice versa.

You could get a blood test for HSV antibodies. It's of limited value though because it doesn't distinguish between HSV1 and HSV2. So if it were negative that would be useful in confirming that you are vulnerable, but if it were positive you still wouldn't know if you are immune.

3. I don't have a figure for this but I would have thought the chances are very small. The main risk would be if your girlfriend has a very mild outbreak that she doesn't notice.

Best of luck

Kt_5991 profile image
Kt_5991

If she uses antiviral medication or a condom is used there’s only a 2% risk and that’s annually! If antiviral medication AND a condom is used, it’s only 1% transmission rate annually. I take the medication but never use a condom with my boyfriend and touch wood he’s never caught it off me! Transmission is pretty low males are less likely to catch it than females because the blisters like to live in moister areas. Give her a chance, Herpes isn’t anything serious! Good luck with it

markh57 profile image
markh57 in reply toKt_5991

I wouldn't disagree with anything Kt_5991 says but you might want to consider the following:

My feeling is that you should go ahead and have sex with your nice girlfriend but ask her to be vigilant for outbreaks. Some people can feel a tingle as a warning sign that an outbreak is starting.

Don't rely on condoms if you girlfriend does have an outbreak. You shouldn't have any form of sex during an outbreak. HSV (and particularly HSV1) is very easily transmitted with oral sex. Condoms only reduce the overall transmission rate by 30%. I know this from bitter experience as I caught my Herpes despite using a condom.

You would be accepting a small element of risk, but as far as symptoms go herpes is usually a very mild disease anyway.

Chasey11 profile image
Chasey11

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