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I have genital herpes but have only ever slept with my partner and he's only ever slept with me?

I was diagnosed with genital herpes and felt like I had been completely stabbed in the back by my partner as he was the first person I had ever slept with but i am the first person he's ever slept with?? Is it actuallt possible that my doctor has diagnosed me incorrectly?

6 Replies

Hi there. Unfortunately herpes is only contracted through contact with another person who has the virus. I.e kissing someone with a cold sore or oral sex with a coldsore or someone that has genital herpes already. How did they test you? Usually it's more diagnosable when there are active blisters to be seen so a swab will be taken or through bloods. If you're still unsure maybe go back and get another test done. Herpes can be as little as one small blister so it might be hard to spot even if you can't see anything. Hope that helps x


They tested me by a wee sample?? She told me there was an infection then had a look down there and told me it was herpes but had done a swab for chlamydia and other ones, my partner is so certain that he has not given me it and it's so frustrating as I know I've only got it off him and he won't just admit it and there is sores but it has all cleared up abit now just some around my bum area x


I haven't heard testing by a wee sample before? I thought it was by swab or blood but I could be wrong! I have a small sore around my bum too it's so irritating And I'm still taking the tablets so this is the first breakout whilst on the tablets 😒 I never knew how common it is though and it makes me feel that little bit better I suppose 🙈x


Yeah I was referred by 111 to urgently get a doctor's app a d they did not take any blood tests, I'm gonna go to a sexual health clinic once they have cleared up a little bit I just want to make sure and yeah same!! First day I was so upset about it but 4 days later I've already realised it could literally be worse I could have something life threatning and I have the support of my family friends and boyfriend x


I was confused myself when I was diagnosed about ten years ago. My GP was so kind and explained that we carry that same virus that would bring us up in a cold sore on our skin a high percentage of the time, even if there's no active cold sore or outbreak. Therefore kissing could transmit it and you wouldn't necessarily be aware. It can then get spread to the genital area through oral sex. But again you can then show no outbreak and carry it completely unaware. It really is that easy for either of you to have picked it up or passed it on to each other. I've never had a cold sore in my life but my husband has in the past so I knew he carried it on his skin but wrongly assumed by avoiding him when he had an actual cold sore that it wasn't a problem.

I've had only one outbreak of it and it was when I was already ill with something else and therefore my immune system was very low. I may have had it for years before that and I've never had another outbreak since. I remember so well being unreasonably furious with my hubby just because I felt awful, uncomfortable, and dirty. Once I calmed down and let him out the dog house I realised it's not dirty or a sign of promiscuity but just a virus that because of it's nature is hard to avoid or know you're carrying it.

I hope this reassured you a little. As for the testing, the type of blisters that appear are pretty easily diagnosed by sight to a professional. They can take a swab if the blisters are open or blood to confirm but it's more a case of doing that as part of a sexual health screening if you were concerned there was anything else. The infection she may have been speaking of may have just been a UTI. I know I had that too at the time.

Of those I know that have had further outbreaks it's usually been if they were stressed or run down so hopefully it will clear and you won't see any symptoms again.

Good luck xx


Hi... Please don't automatically think your partner has let you down. Firstly, does he suffer with cold sores on the mouth or do you normally? Someone can carry the virus without having any symptoms. Have you asked your partner if he has had a sexual relationship before you? The best place to get out is the G.U. clinic as they do have testing facilities there.


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