Genital Herpes - Age 23 - Friend : So I'm a female and... - BASHH


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Genital Herpes - Age 23 - Friend

Hmm- profile image

So I'm a female and I've been diagnosed with genital herpes and would love to connect with any other individual in the same position.

I find it so hard and can't bring it up to my my so called friends around me because they can be so judgemental.

I just want someone to talk about it with and so on not feel so alone. I literally don't leave my house anymore because of it has generally ruined my life I have no confidence I've lost so much weight/ friends I feel like I'm losing myself

29 Replies

Hey, I'm in the exact same position! Feel free to message me

Hmm- profile image
Hmm- in reply to

It's literally bought me into depression I've lost a stone and a half. Don't like leaving the house cause I feel like everyone knows or thinks I'm discusting. I don't know how to come to terms with it.

Don't know what to do tbh. I feel like there's nowhere to turn. I literally feel trapped by this disease I find my self crying about it for like atleast an hour a week and I've had my dignoses for about 10months as I still haven't got over it.

I get an outbreak every month with my period and i just feel like m life is over.

It's not even just about Sex but i genuinely have no confidence now. Feel like his disease has taken everything my social life my health and my cOnfidence I've tried to be positive and d my research but that only goes so far.

Like I'm Not happy in my relationship and I don't think I'll ever be but I can't leave him cause then I'll be alone. I just don't know what to do.

MsBeh profile image
MsBeh in reply to Hmm-

Hello, I got diagnosed last year August. I am literally having a melt down right now. Have you ever tried to get rid of it yourself ?

Hmm- profile image
Hmm- in reply to MsBeh

Dead Sea salt baths, black seed oil and hormone stabilisers worked for me

MsBeh profile image
MsBeh in reply to Hmm-

I don't mean outbreaks. Actually get rid of the herpes? I know there's a cure out there... A natural one because herpes is man made.

I've had it for 4 years now all I can say is it does get easier and u don't have breakouts as much you can also go to ur local gum clinic and they will give u pills to take to keep the break outs from happening. I won't get a boy friend tho, I wouldn't know how to tell them .

I got herpes type 2 last year in August I felt so alone. Admittedly it was my fault as I was sleeping around, I informed the people I was sleeping with and I got hurled a lot of abuse back. One of them later told me I had given it to him and he gave me even more abuse like I had ended his life but it wasn't all my fault I noticed I had spots which were like water blisters I warned him that I didn't know what it was and I looked it up on the internet. Anyhow we went to Dartford to stay in a hotel for the night and I warned him again then before he wanted sex but he said in his words "It's fine it probably isn't anything" and we did it but it was so painful for me I didn't enjoy it. Next thing you know he isn't cuddling me and distance when we got home. A few days later I went to the sex clinic and they tested me and I got the results straight away, I sat in the sex clinic with my bag of medication and I felt so alone with people around me staring at me. I informed the boy and he was okay with it, he was going to get himself checked and the next day he did but the next day he informed me that he had got it. I was ever so sorry as I didn't want somebody else going through the same thing as me and he was understanding until apparently his mum saw him taking the tablets and that's when he got nasty basically saying I had reunioned his life and now his parents knew. I cried for about a week and was so distance I wanted to be on my own and I just didn't want to be here anymore. I had a friend for support but she looked everything up on the internet and thought everything was true but I knew my own body, I knew it could get over this and I eventually got rid of the spots. For the last part of the story for this chapter the boy soon got with somebody else and now has a baby.. which I find funny I always wonder did he catch the herpes or did he use it as an accuse to lie to me about seeing two people at the same time because he wanted her but not me.

Anyhow I decided enough was enough from after that I vowed to change my attitude to life and I stopped sleeping around I decided I needed to find somebody. I dated a lot of people and before it got too serious I warned them about that I had herpes this obs scares people off as they don't understand the condition and just think it's all bad. I met a lovely man who treated me on our first date and looked after me, he was super fit to add to that 😆 About three dates after I said to him I don't want to waste your time and he asked why I told him I had herpes and he asked what was it, so I told him and he went okay fair enough it doesn't stop me wanting you. We have been together now for a year and we don't use protection but I haven't had a outbreak for over a year plus he has been checked and not caught the virus which I'm so thankful for.

Honestly I'm here if you want to talk. Don't read into things on the internet as everyone is so different and it effects others in different ways. Herpes type 1 are coldsaws on your mouth and hardly anyone knows it is a condition.

I've now waiting for results back from my bioospy on my cervical as they found adnormal cells and HPV. It's got nothing to do with herpes apparently my nurse said.

TanyaG2 profile image
TanyaG2 in reply to Butterflyl3

Hi can you talk to me

Hmm- profile image
Hmm- in reply to TanyaG2

I have got a lot better, I. I longer have outbreaks at all as for a cure I don’t know of anything that works to take it out your system but soursap tea and blackseed oil are really good..... they have anti viral properties...... you learn to accept it I guess, it’s a stupid jarring point in life. Most of the population has it and almost don’t know it we are just the unlucky ones that do.

TanyaG2 profile image
TanyaG2 in reply to Hmm-


Hmm- profile image
Hmm- in reply to TanyaG2

Another thing is salt baths if your in the middle of an outbreak clears them up sooooo much quicker.... that was my go to tbh

Hi lovely, hope you're ok!!! First of all I wanna say why you're feeling right now is totally normal! I think everybody who is diagnosed goes through all the feelings that you are feeling. I was diagnosed with type 2 4 years ago. I remember how horrible and depressed the first year was, I felt sad all every day all day. I genuinely felt depressed. I was suffering with a lot of outbreaks and i felt so alone. One day I woke up and I was like I don't want to feel this way. One thing I will say DONT LOOK ON THE INTERNET!! I would sit on my phone reading all these horror stories and getting myself more scared and worried. The truth is your going to be fine! You will get over this and you will meet someone and be happy and you will probably forget you have it most the time. I started taking acyclovir which stopped my outbreaks which made me feel so much better. This is so common just nobody talks about it. It's basically a skin irratation. Nothing more. Four years down the line I have a partner and 2 weeks ago I gave birth to a beautiful baby boy. Life is good. I don't even think about it anymore. Have you looked on the herpes uk website? I always found the Australian heroes website really good. Please don't be sad and waste your life. You are fine. You will be happy ok promise. Sending lots of love. Ps I'm in London too, remember thinking I was like the only person in lonodon that has this lol there loads of us trust me!! Xxxx

saj01 profile image
saj01 in reply to Courtney25

Although your reply was very supportive.. I really have to correct you in your assumption about Herpes... it's not merely a skin irritation it's a virus, a very contagious and unpleasant one at that. Some people get many recurrent attacks, others do not. Some people carry the virus and don't even have symptoms.

Hmm- profile image
Hmm- in reply to saj01

Yea a virus that causes a skin irritation. But I'm missing what your point even is with that reply. To make people feel bad or something??

We have established what it causes pretty sure everyone on this thread knows and the effects it has on different people.

saj01 profile image
saj01 in reply to Hmm-

Having suffered from it for over 40 years.. I wouldn't call it a skin irritation... if only it was! For some people it can cause quite large groups of painful blisters..some get it every month!. I think you'd be surprised that a lot of people don't really know much about the virus, when they are infectious or how it spreads. If they did, they wouldn't be writing on here, asking about it. One of the things people don't realise is that if they have it in the birth canal at the time of birth - the baby can become infected too.

Hmm- profile image
Hmm- in reply to saj01

Well thanks Stella, but this wasn't a thread asking about that like and the effects like I said. it was a thread for support I'm clearly going through it myself. I've read up on it, hence why I feel the way I do sometimes....... So you can take your feel bad comments somewhere else cause my point is that's not what i need right now. ;) have a nice day

Hey, I'm in the exact same position. I got genital herpes back at the beginning of the year. I felt like my life was over, I was so depressed and down and at this time I was currently seeing someone too so all my thoughts were 'what if he leaves me, what if he judges me' etc so I had to tell him because I couldn't put off from sleeping with him as he would know something was up so I told him and he gave me the best reply I could have hoped for. I told him about how common it is and how it's just a minor skin condition. He is aware it is contagious so when I do have a breakout I suggest condoms or not having sex at all until it's cleared up. Although we do have sex without a condom when I haven't had a breakout (although you can still give it to your partner if it's not active) but touch wood, he hasn't had any symptoms and we've been seeing each other from Feb! I have been using aciclovir 2 times a day for 12 weeks then I would go back to the clinic for a review on them and they decide wether to give me more or have a break. I have had a few outbreaks whilst being off the tablets, but they don't last as long and get less severe. I still haven't told my parents about this as it's something I want to handle on my own but it can get depressing you've just got to learn to handle it. I don't know if anyone else has experienced this but sometimes after sex I get very sore, with or without an outbreak. Sometimes it's a burning sensation, sometimes I have swollen up other times it's just uncomfortable but only lasts about a day and it's gone? Any ideas? I have had my bloods taken but wasn't sure wether herpes had a part to play in painful sex? It will get better though, it's one of them things girl! Xx

I was diagnosed on Thursday. Cannot stop crying. Please feel free to stay in contact. We can help each other get through this.

TanyaG2 profile image
TanyaG2 in reply to aggijo

Hi are you better ?

MsBeh profile image
MsBeh in reply to aggijo

Hello, I was diagnosed in August 2018. I'm having a mini breakdown and I have no one to talk too. Have you tried any of the protocols to get rid of it? i'm currently on the hydrogen therapy and supplements one.

I caught genital herpes 3 weeks ago, initially i felt dirty but after much research online especially i soon realised it is a lot more common than you think, 70% have HSV1 and 10% have HSV2 so when you go out in public and there are at least 20 people around you chances are you are not alone! Most people do not know they are carrying it so can pass it to others without knowing! even when it is transmitted it can lie dormant for months or years. Over time your body will produce antibodies so recurrent outbreaks will be less severe and less often, I also read horror stories but they were from people who have had it less than a year- the long term "reviews" (probably not the right choice of words) is that it always gets better over time but if/when you get an outbreak, seek medical help...antivirals are available, you can also help with diet choices (avoid high argenine foods and seek high lysine foods, i am taking lysine tablets from holland and barret) Also uv rays and alcohol can cause flare ups (i will report back on that matter when i return from mexico in 8 weeks)

BTW i'm a 44year old male, always had sex with condoms but this is a skin on skin virus so we were just unlucky. Try to reconnect with friends and start going out, try to forget about it as much as possible as stress is possibly the number 1 cause for outbreaks. You are correct in thinking it is just a skin irritation, remember 70% have HSV1 we just have ours on a different part of the body. You are no dirtier than the 70%.

Diagnosed Tuesday, weds I went to work spoke to my casual partner who was as supportive as a blancmange! His response is well I haven't got any symptoms so I must be immune! Am I bad for being very disappointed that I'm alone in this? Can he be tested despite having no symptoms? Couldn't face work today, felt so alone and have the mother of all periods, text him to say I won't be at work and all I got was an OK, no are u OK? I can't tell my friends or family they will judge me like I have judged others before being the infected one! Today I met a friend who does not know any of my other friends and she was so great, told me to get a grip which was what I needed, I'm dreading further outbreaks, but it is what it is, I can't get rid of it, I can't cure it and can't turn the clock back, so gotta deal with it! Feel dirty and ashamed but know I need to get over it and move on! Dreading next period in case I have another outbreak, I'm 41, no kids, no desire to have them and I'm happiest being single but worried about being single forever, I don't do depression so I know this won't beat me, just got to learn to live with it, it's like a black cloud over me atm!

in reply to Jabez15

What was your symptoms

In time you will find someone..just may be a lil harder. If u feel more comfortable dnt tell anyone ur nt having sex with....u can still hve a sex life jus use a condom everytime....ive had HSV for over 5 years now and im 25... i have a boyfriend and we have two kids together. It will all be ok in time.... i havnt told my friends as its non of their business they are nt having sex with me...

Hey here if you need a friend was just recently diagnosed myself

I’m 23 feel free to message me

MsBeh profile image
MsBeh in reply to Angel199592

Hi, I am 23 too. I got diagnosed in August last year. Did you get diagnosed 10 months ago?

Hi I’m just wondering if things have got any better for you over the months I was diagnosed 2 days ago and I’m feeling just how you described 😭

MsBeh profile image
MsBeh in reply to Billyjoe2

Hi, how u coping? I got mine last year August. This so stressful at times.

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