Herpes - help!: So yesterday i got a message from a... - BASHH


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Herpes - help!

A1984 profile image

So yesterday i got a message from a guy i had unprotected sex with before xmas saying he has just been told he has genital herpes - he's basically implying i gave it to him but i've got no symptoms & as far as i'm aware never have had but i know this can happen to some people!

As i have no symptoms how can i get tested? Some sites i've read say you can't get definite results if you have no symptoms? If i can get tested how long does it usually take for results to come back if you have or don't have symptoms?

This is driving me crazy not knowing if i do or don't have it! Can anyone offer any advice, thanks

15 Replies

You won't know you have it until you have an outbreak. It will be one month since I found out and I get tested every 3-6 months and my tests always came back negative until I went too the hospital and they told me only want to be tested positive is when you have an outbreak no way of knowing anything before.

A1984 profile image
A1984 in reply to Kaylahhh

This is weird how can you be expected to be responsible and tell partners if you don't know yourself if you have it?Some people never have an out break-this is really frustrating I'm going to call my gum clinic today and see what they say n see if I can get some advice I can't keep just wondering what if I'll drive myself insane;-(

The doctors won't be able to know if you have it unless you have the sores. You maybe a carrier of the Virus but it didn't affect your skin. Statics show 8 in 10 people have herpes however only 5 of those 8 will never show they are known as carries.

You have the virus and have a reaction in 2 years time there is no knowing when you will have a reaction, that is if you have one anyways.

Faithhh profile image
Faithhh in reply to Faithhh

You may have the virus I am not saying 100% you have it but you will never know

I was diagnosed 2 years ago with herpes after being with my partner of 9 years and noone else. He had the antibody test and he doesnt have the virus but i do. I was told it can lie dormant for up to 20 years before having an outbreak. This is the scariest thing. It could happen to anyone. It was the hardest part of our relationship to date and we have 2 children together!

A1984 profile image
A1984 in reply to BexM

Bex do you know what the test is called to check for the virus if you have no symptoms?

It does not mean you will get it, unless he had a breakout at the time of intercourse . Results usually take 7/10 days . I believe a blood test could establish this but looks like this info is conflicting reading the comments below.

Because I have no symptoms my GUM clinic won't do anything so going to see my GP tomorrow-i just don't understand how nobody has developed a definitive way to find out if you have the virus if you get no symptoms so many people are possibly passing this to other people without even knowing!I'm hoping my GP will be able to give me the anti body test

Ive got herpes i discovered them during a pregnancy . God knows how long im having them and where they come from all i know is - you can pass this virus only if you having it active (outbreaks) . If u aay you have not get any symptoms you cannot be the one who gave it to the guy . So dont worry as long your virus "sleeps" youre not dangerous . Xx

Thrushsucks profile image
Thrushsucks in reply to Ahha

Not true- if you have herpes you can pass on the virus even if you have no symptoms. Horribly scary but true

A1984 profile image
A1984 in reply to Thrushsucks

That's what i thought - i've had swabs & bloods done yesterday to see if i currently have the virus & getting the igG anti bodies test tomorrow to see if i have had the virus previously & if so what type (fingers crossed everything comes back negative)

Dear A1984,

Do you get cold sores? It can be passed on through oral sex as well.

Herpes is very common and most people will get it eventually either around the mouth (as cold sores) or in the genitals.

I suggest you visit herpes.org.uk for more information and support.

Kind regards.

A1984 profile image
A1984 in reply to


No had no symptoms at all but i've read some people never get symptoms but if you have the virus you can still pass it on through asymptomatic shedding - that's what i'm worried about! I've just had vaginal swabs done and bloods taken but i don't know if that will reveal anything as i thought there's no tests if you don't have symptoms?

Get the blood test igG. You can get this test WITHOUT having a current outbreak. Also it usually takes 14 days from getting it until symptoms appear. There are numerous support groups, even secret ones on FB. I know of about 3000 (yes, thousand) that have this. It is quite common. And, you have to specifically ask to get tested and typed (for type 1 or 2, and you can have either in any region). Do some research.

A1984 profile image
A1984 in reply to Boldbeauty


I asked for the blood test but neither my GUM clinic or GP will do it - apparently it's not something they do so i'm kind of stuck - GP has said as i've never shown any symptoms i should just go with the assumption i don't have it and if i did as i've no symptoms it's unlikely i'd pass it on!

To me it seems very irresponsible that the blood test isn't a standard test done when you go for an STD check, as i've discovered LOTS of people have it & don't even know and could potentially pass it on without knowing!

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