Scared now that I have herpes

Just today I was told I have herpes type 1 down below in my private area. I still havent processed it all and I'm scared that no one will accept it, I'm currently with my partner for 3 years nearly and we live together, I have told him about it and that I'm positive but he wasn't really supportive towards me about it, I think in the end it will ruin us altogether and our sex life, not sure what is going thru his head now, I don't think he understands that anyone we have slept with could of had it because not all people show symptoms, and my nurse said that he can't tested unless he has a outbreak of it, I don't know what to say to him about it like he could have it and not know but yet I get a outbreak and I have to live with it now forever it's not fair ! Is there any way he could tested for it at all and if so please tell me ?

4 Replies

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  • I don't think he can be unless he has an outbreak like you said, i was diagnosed about 6 months ago and honestly it was the worst time of my life thankfully my partner of 2 years knows it can lie dormant for years so he knew i hadn't cheated, i wouldn't cheat and thankfully hes supportive of it. Maybe your partner just needs time to process it like your having to? How about picking up some leaflets from your doctor? Look through them together. The first breakout is awful as your probably experiencing but honestly it does get lots better, after my first break out I've had about 4 more but they've cleared up within 2 days and there no where near as painful as the first break out. It isn't the end just let your partner know that too x

  • That's nonsense, you can request a PCR blood test so she's being a bit silly telling you that. It's just like any other sti, you can test for it. Your boyfriends can ask his GP to do that for him and put his mind at rest.

    My boyfriend is fine with my diagnosis, I haven't had an outbreak in over 3 years and when I do have one now it's mild and just a bit itchy and irritating. I have meds at home just in case though. Your relationship will be fine I'm sure. For all you know, he could've given it to you, there's really no way to tell.

    The first outbreak is always the worst but once it goes away it's easily forgotten. It doesn't ruin lives, I think it's more psychological than anything else.

  • Hold on are you sure it's herpes 1 not 2? Herpes 1 affects about 75% of the population so practically everyone has it. Ever seen a cold sore? Well that's herpes 1.

    It's still possible to be infected by herpes 1 and for it to affect your genital area as herpes 2 but that's a bit less common.

    As for tests Smitheil replied, you get a PCR done.

    Anyhow I wouldn't worry about herpes. Trust me a lot of people have it and the vast majority are not even aware of the fact so it's impossible to get reliable statistics.

  • Have any of you could me up with any mouth soars? If so it's in his system... type 1 herpes isn't usually associated with the genitalia but it can be passed down there.

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