Herpes - help?!

Hello, I'm new here!

So today I find out that I have Herpes and I feel like it's changed my life. I feel so so stupid for sleeping with someone with no protection. What was I thinking?! One of the hardest ways to learn your lessons.

I've never had an STI before so this is all new to me. I've never been in so much pain before. I can barely walk at the moment and that's when I knew it wasn't just 'thrush' as the doctor said on Monday. I think the worse is that I can't even poo because my anus is all swollen and sore. I'm just hoping I can get through this. The thought of having it again and again actually scares me.

I'm just asking for advice of how you deal with this basically. How on earth do you tell someone you're with that you have Herpes?! Luckily I've just come out of a relationship so that shouldn't happen any time soon but still you never know.

Any home remedies that have worked for you guys as well? Please share your thoughts. I'm in so much pain, I need to get better. It's my birthday on Monday as well!

Thank you for reading.

12 Replies

  • Bless you., I really hope you are better for your birthday! Try bathing in salt water, a cup full of normal cooking salt in a bath twice a day, it will sting but helps healing, also wee in the bath water if that's painful too. Take painkillers, treat yourself as though you have a bad cold, rest up. Lidocaine gel can be put on the ulcers to numb the skin. Don't beat yourself up, lots of people carry the herpes virus and spread it around without realising, a kiss is the usual way and then with oral sex it gets transmitted to our genitals so whilst a condom helps reduce transmission it is no bearing on your sexual history. Telling others can be tricky but the Herpes Virus Association have a fantastic leaflet on disclosure and a helpline you can ring for advice. The key is to try and accept this and relax, stress does not help your immune system and you may not get an outbreak ever again, or only when you are run down. Sun beds and strong sunshine are another trigger so avoid, if you feel the tingle then rest up, antivirals if you have them but your body will fight this.

  • Thank you for that, it's really helped me. I will sure look at that leaflet as I am worried how to tell people and what not!

    I'm on the tablets and got the cream but I'm still not seeing any improvement and it's day 3 now... How long will it take to see an improvement? Do you know at all? X

  • You should start to feel better anytime soon but will take up to a week to really feel better. Rest and take painkillers regularly x

  • Thank you! Xx

  • Hey, i just wanted to know if the cream helped at all with the ulcers and did it hurt when you applied it?? I'm so bad with pain but if it numbs the area that would be a big help.

  • Hey, I've been applying the cream and it does sting a little but nothing like the pain I've been in the last few days! It is slowly helping too :) x

  • Thank you

    I shall try and get some tomorrow, how often do you apply it??

  • Says to apply 5 times a day but I don't apply it that much as I forget hah! But I do it at least 2/3 times a day! X

  • Ahh okay

    Thank you so much, hope you are feeling better soon x

  • Hi, I completely understand your pain I too was diagnosed with herpes back in June this year and I thought my world was over and felt very disgusted with myself, the pain I was in was unbearable and like you I had my birthday coming up too, I eventually cancelled all plans as I was in so much pain however due to me having time off work I was able to do a lot of research about it and joined this forum which I found has helped me a lot plus the support of close family and friends. I did all the salt baths and took the pills which I found. I've just recently had my second outbreak and found that it was nowhere near as bad as he first and didn't last long either. I too am not in a relationship so telling someone is not an issue however what it has done is just made me think more carefully about who I engage in sex with in the future. You will get through this I promise. :)

  • Hey sweetie just thought you'd like to know you're not alone, i found out i had herpes yesterday, its the first std I've ever had and feel like I've let my whole family down not to mention myself. However reading other peoples stories on here did help me with coping with it.

    I completely understand the pain you're in, I've never felt a pain quite like it, its more painful than than the time i burned my leg and i had blisters and sores for weeks. I did try the salt bath thing and it does help to sooth the pain however i found it still hurt when i passed urine in it. I now find it a lot more comfortable to use a large jug of cold water (no salt added) and pour it over the area while you're on the toilet. For me it stung a lot less. After that i'd have my salt bath. Having a cold wet flannel on standby is good as well, i find that helps at night. I hope these things help as well as the things that Foundlove have suggested.

    Just remember everything heals in time and the pain won't last forever.

  • Hi Robyn, I hope you were told that you won't ever have a first outbreak ever again. Repeat outbreaks (if you get one) are nothing like as bad. But I guess by now you have found that out! Read the Herpes Viruses Association website to get lots of good ideas for dealing with both the physical symptoms and the issue of new partners.

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