Day to day living with herpes,

[Bm123]

I am a 57 yr old male who has been living one day at a time with this affliction. Now i contracted this 20yrs ago and i thought it was the end of my life, thats because i was uninformed. I was in a monogamous relationship and was happy as can be. She told me that she was sorry , i have forgiven her since. It made my self-esteem very low, that i couldn't be in a relationship, but i was wrong.i relied on drugs to get me through,well i have been 25yrs sober now.got married three years ago, since been separated, but life goes on. I feel if i can deal with both afflictions a day at a time anyone can.

[Hidden]

Hi!

Sorry to hear that it has affected you in this way. The reality is herpes is very common. By the age of 50 its estimated 75% of the population have it either in the genital area or as cold sores around the mouth - it's essenally the same virus. Chicken pox is also a herpes virus which most of us caught as young children. No-one feels bad about having chickenpox even though it's still in our bodies and can come back as shingles!

I wonder if you would benefit from some psychosexual therapy to help you come to terms with what's happened. Visit your local sexual health clinic or your GP for advice about referral.

The Herpes Virus Association (herpes.org.uk) is also very supportive.

Take care,

Mark (Consultant in Sexual Health & HIV)