Wedding night & STI

Hi all I'm new to this and just needed some support.

I got married 6 months ago. I'm in my early 20s. The first person I've had sex with was my husband. In our culture we don't get married and move out straight away we wait until the wedding.

During that in between time I had sex with my husband I had no concept of him having a disease I mentioned it 1 before he had a check and all was clear.

I remember the sudden itchiness I remember the tears I used to cry just to piss. I could hardly walk I had to stay home from work. I used to spend all day in the bath. Until one night I couldn't bare the pain any longer. I went to A&E there I was diagnosed of syphilis.

I never knew what is was until I started googling.

I was so angry at my husband I was so content on getting a divorce I hated him his attitude his look everything about him was disgusting. I wanted a divorce. I was paying for his dirty mistakes. I could stand him touching me or being so close to me.

I demanded he go see the health clinic he explained my symptoms and the doctor demanded I see him urgently.

Upon my arrival the doctor had seen me and gave me some pain killers but nothing helped it just burns and burns.

I was wrongly diagnosed. I had serve case of herpes the worse the doctor has seen in her 7 years at the clinic. My vagina was swollen red and bleeding. I couldnt close my legs.

I've had 2 out breaks since then they don't get easier. They tell you it does but it's terrible. I hate my husband for it I'm still with him and I rarely jump on him like before. I think I need counselling otherwise our marriage will break.

I miss being care free. I hope it does get better because I can't take any more. My marriage has paid the price yet again his actions causing me pain.

I lye here looking at him asleep while I can't sleep because I can feel it coming again.

Thanks for listen.

What shall I do being wrongly diagnosed?

9 Replies

  • Pray for peace

  • Thank you for the support.

  • Feel sorry for you. Wishing you all the best.

  • Thank you for the support.

  • It must be very hard for you as you saved yourself for him. To be in that position through no fault of your own. Wrong diagnosis can happen. Herpes can be picked up just from skin contact and people can carry it without knowing. An ex partner would've passed it to your husband before marriage and he carried it and unfortunately you reacted badly to the virus. No one ever knows they have it until a breakout. I undersrand your pain. Don't let it ruin your marriage. Your husband had previous partners as you know and herpes can be passed from person to person without anyone knowing they have it. 80% of the population have it. If you had got syphilis or something else in that time then you know he would have cheated but in this instance he probably had it for years. Cold sores on the mouth can become genital herpes if your husband went down there with his mouth. I hope this helps you and reassures you. Give your marriage a go but if you were given a different STD then divorce him. Wish you all the best and a long and happy marriage x

  • Thanks for the words very comforting

  • If you are in UK then one of the unusual grounds for divorce is being infected by your husband with an STI. It used to cover syphillis and the like. There is some treatment for herpes - are you getting that. Painkillers are not enough!

  • It is not unusual ground for divorce. I have to show that I cannot bare to live with him his actions have irreativably broken down the marriage. (I am solicitor in the UK) I'm getting treatment but it just is too late by the time I feel it.

  • I am so sorry that you have had to go through all this. As you may recall your husband suffering from STI on marriage is grounds for annulment!

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