Finding out you have an STD

So, last year I went on a girly holiday with my best friend. I'm normally really sensible when it comes to who I sleep with and contraceptives and I've only slept with 5 people since I became sexually active. I was stupid on holiday, I slept with someone without using contraceptives... the result, Herpes. As a 21 year old woman, it's not something you want to hear.

I walked home from the doctor's feeling numb and upset and as soon as I got into my house and saw my mum I broke down crying. It was my own fault but it made me angry that this guy was going round sleeping with girls and infecting them with such a permanent thing. I'm stuck with it for life. I don't know how to tell someone I'm going to sleep with that I have it. I think they'd go running from me screaming!

I contracted it in September 2012 and I've had two breakouts since. The first breakout was extremely uncomfortable and it lasted weeks. The two breakouts I've had since haven't been anywhere near as bad and I'm kind of coming to terms with the fact that I have it.

I know I need to go to a GUM clinic to talk to someone about it but I haven't been able to bring myself to do it yet. I think over the next few weeks I should maybe try and go, just to get more info on it and help with how to tell someone.

5 Replies

  • Hi agg602,

    Herpes is just the cold sore virus and has a massive (undeserved) stigma attached to it.

    As a first step look on the herpes viruses association website or phone their helpline... they are wonderful and reassuring.

    Go along to your local GUM clinic too, nearly everyone comes out felling better about the situation after chatting to a professional.

    Has the diagnosis been confirmed?? It might not be herpes... ??

  • Agg602 i found out a few weeks ago.

    I was the same like you playing it safe, I only slept with people I know. Just horrible that they couldnt tell me they had it I would of understand but seems they havnt got the bulls. I feel scarred for life which im more or less am meh

    But chin up. You will come to terms with it and forget about it.Just dont stress as it can cause you to have a breakout

  • Dear Little aag602!

    Even being a male, all my sympathies go to you young lady, wish I were of any resourceful solace full help. My deepest Soulfelt vibes to you; you will miraculously be guided to "a" miraculous source & with all the certitude be healed miraculously & you will feel like it was a bad dream - just have trust in yourself:-)

  • I'm pretty sure herpes can be cured and inactivated with the right meds. Have faith!

  • I know how you feel. I was sexually assulted and contracted herpes. I was a similar age to you also. I have only ever had one outbreak, which was 2 weeks after the attack and thankfully I have never had another one, but I am waiting if it flare up when I least expect it. I am so ashamed of it. I am ashamed of what happened to me and have spent 3 years dealing with post traumatic stress disorder. I completely understand about being afraid to tell someone. I have never told anyone, only through this site. I am also really concerned about dating and telling potential parnter, so I just aviod going out and meeting people all together. Recently though, I am starting to get sick of it! I joined onto this site for help and have received some great advice, which is sparking my interest to venture out again. There are dating sites where you can meet people who have herpes or other std's. I dont really like dating sites, but I think this may have to be my first step in finding someone. The way I see it is, if you both already know you have it, then you dont have to tell each other! Best of luck to you xx

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