Struggling with work

[itsavibe222]

I have been diagnosed with Autism for just over a year, in recent years my anxiety has appeared to become more and more overwhelming. I started a new job around 6 months ago, and I cannot seem to settle into it. I become so overwhelmed being in an office and having lots of people around me. I actually dread going to work and due to the nature of it I become really overwhelmed and impacted. It's sad because I worked really hard to get here and I didn't want to just give up on it. However, i feel like there isn't many jobs out there where I would be able to fit in and not get overwhelmed, even by the most 'basic' tasks. I only work 3 days and even this is too overwhelming for me, there is little the employer can do other than basic adjustments, it therefore just ends in me building everything up and then it getting too much and I have to take time off.

Sometimes I feel like just handing my notice in and giving up, but again I then will stress about having no job!

How does everyone else manage work?

[NotJim]

Hi itsavibe222,

Sorry to hear you're having problems with your job. I remember having similar when I started a proper job for the first time in an office.

You mentioned basic adjustments, but I wonder if there are any other changes that might help? Depending on where you're working there ought to policies in some places about Reasonable Adjustments. For example in the UK, there is legislation under the Equality Act 2010 that "Employers must make reasonable adjustments to make sure workers with disabilities, or physical or mental health conditions, are not substantially disadvantaged when doing their jobs. This applies to all workers, including trainees, apprentices, contract workers and business partners."

If your company can't make more changes for whatever reason, maybe there are adjustments you can make for yourself that might help make things easier. Maybe think of what are the three most challenging things about the job, for example, is it the people, the work environment, etcetera. And then maybe work together with them to see what can be done to make this more manageable for you. For example, having a quieter space to work in, being allowed to wear headphones/sunglasses, or somewhere where you can calm down if you need to.

You also mentioned building everything up until it feels too much. Perhaps there are ways that can help you deal with the anxiety of going to the job, which sounds like it's giving you some trouble. Certainly the more we build something up in our heads, the worse it can feel to the point of being overwhelming. When I feel this way I think about the acronym F.E.A.R - Fearful Events Appearing Real. The emphasis being on the word appearing. Our anxieties shout very loud and tell us the worst will happen, but they don't actually have any power to bring it about. Challenging these anxious thoughts so that you can offer them an alternative answer might help you with facing the anxiety.

For example, if I were scared of thunderstorms but I knew I also had to go shopping on a day when there's rain forecast, I'd know my anxious thoughts would start thinking about every single little detail. ("When it thundered last time, did the clouds look like that?" "Maybe the weather app is wrong" "If it does thunder, what if the rain floods the place and I can't go home?") Some ideas to challenge these thoughts could be "The likelihood of thunder is very low, the weather app has forecast this for days", "If it does thunder, you can stay in a shop till it passes," "Bring a brolly if it makes you feel better", "If you go and it does thunder, it might help you see it isn't as bad as you think".

The anxious thoughts will try and shout more and more, because that's what they do, they're a natural self-preservation thing gone into overdrive. But the more you can prove them wrong, the more they can go quieter. CHallenging them with rational alternatives, and giving yourself action plans/safety nets that you can use if you feel scared (like for example, "if it does thunder, I can bring a brolly or stay in a shop till it passes")

Jobs can take a long time to adjust to, I think I took way over 6 months for mine; people adjust at their own pace, and it might be you will need a little longer. Being patient with yourself is important, we're not robots who can instantly start functioning in a new system. I hope you can find your rhythm, and hopefully start enjoying the workie bits too.

[QuietButBold]

I have been reading a (free to download) PDF by axahealth about Supporting Neurodiversity At Work - accessed via the button: "Read Our Workplace Guide".axahealth.co.uk/business/pr...

I have been looking through that guide to give me extra ideas for writing myself a Wellness Action Plan (WAP). The idea of this discipline is to help me to remind myself that there are a range of coping strategies designed to help Autistic people cope with Spiky Profiles" (where we excel at certain things and yet genuinely struggle, sometimes suffering in silence, with other things which might surprise people.

The other thing I try to remind myself in the workplace is that; me on an "at my best" day may be quite different to me on an "everything seems extra difficult" day (when I might need to remember it is OK to pace myself and ask for a bit of help with things I would normally manage by myself).

When I am experiencing tough times at work I try to take care to build into my routine (outside of work) things which I can find help me to keep things in perspective - such as:

- time spent decompressing by pursuing my special interest(s),

- I try to connect online, or in person, with people outside of work who I already know accept me as "me",

- I try to schedule some time doing an errand outside of home, by myself, (so while I am doing that simple task; I can also experience at the same time "hearing myself think in my own head - without interruption by other people"),

- update my electronic calendar with things I am worrying about forgetting to do (so I can stop thinking about them and just wait for the notification reminders I have set up to sound nearer the time),

- sometimes I will write a note to myself about a situation concerning me - and then set it aside - and return to reading that note a day or two later (to see if I really still feel the same way about those things),

- some time walking outdoors can be helpful (I like to take with me a bottle of tap water, a healthy snack, and a flask of coffee - so that if I am enjoying that walk, I have the chance to sit down for a mini picnic before returning home again.

Over time, I hope you will be able to explore / find some strategies (tailored to you) which you find helpful.