Grief and autism

[Kereena-12]

I lost my mum before Christmas and I finding it hard I not cried at all miss her bad. Anyone else struggling has I see others and what they say about grief but I thing some with autism grief different I no I and my family are.

[KingkittyS]

sorry to hear about that. Praying for you.

[Aspen797]

I am so sorry for your loss. You are right that everyone grieves differently. It can be strange to see so many different ways in which people react to loss and easy to wonder if our own way of processing our loss is okay compared to others. It most definitely is. I hope you and your family are supporting each other and getting support during this difficult time.

[Bee-bop]

Hi Kereena-12,

As Aspen797 says, grief is unique to us all and there are stages we go through. In one stage we can be in shock and that can be very different for each person. My youngest daughter did not cry when my mum died initially although I knew she was sad and she didn't cry at the funeral. It wasn't because she didn't care, she had got quite upset on her last visit to see my mum and my other daughter (also being tested forASD/ADHD) cried a lot when she last visited my mum and was too ill to attend on the day of the funeral.

However, when my youngest daughter's guinea pig died in 2021 she cried and cried and was completely overwhelmed.

It can be that tears sometimes come and other times they don't and sometimes they can come later. It doesn't show how much a person is missed or cared about.

cruse.org.uk/ is an organisation that can help with understanding Grief.

[Blucher67 in reply to Bee-bop]

My father died when I was 13. When my cat was run over a few years later I was devastated. This was the last link to my father who died on my bed. I was asked whether I wanted a new bed. I replied, there is nothing wrong with the one we have. When you look at the world with logic rather than emotion or appearance, would not life be better for all of us.

[Bingonut]

A close friend died three weeks ago and I was very upset but didn't really cry. My cat died yesterday and I'm much much more upset, crying all the time. Both deaths were unexpected. You feel what you feel. Try and let yourself feel it if you can. As other posters have said, there is no right way to grieve.

[Blucher67]

Why allow people to guilt you as you have not cried? We morn in different ways. I wrote and read the eulogy at my mother's and grandfather's funerals. I had them laughing. Funerals is to celebrate their lives. Many that show, demonstrate and wail are shallow. It is them shifting the guilt to others. Where it is about appearance.