My darling Dad died. I’m mortified and can’t cope xx

[bevvick1964]

I lost my amazing pops whilst on holiday in Florida but came back to major annamosity bacause I couldn’t be there because I can’t drive yet my sister won’t see my illness as real so now me and my boys don’t exist xx

[Don21]

Bevvick I'm so sorry for your loss and that you are having to deal with this anger. I suppose that anger is easier to deal with than grief but that doesn't make your sister's attitude any easier to deal with.

All you can do is look after yourself .xxanna

[SamGH]

Sorry for your loss

[rachie1959]

sorry for your loss Xx

[Hidden]

Thinking of you Bev. Youre going to have to dig deep and really look after yourself, almost selfishly to others, but for you its putting you first and your needs......The rejection by family may be their way of coping and denying. Stay strong. That’s what he would have wanted. Their anger is their problem, not yours. But also know you need to grieve, and that time is both now and as time goes on.

Look up Elizabeth Kubler Ross on the grieving stages.

Xxx

[wobblybee]

Bev, I’m so sorry for your loss. I know you are a strong person, and you will survive this animosity, your boys need you to be strong. People do lash out in anger at times like this, inevitably there can be misplaced blame, most of us have experienced something similar and it just adds to the blow. But try to gather your thoughts and strong will, I’m thinking of you 😘 xB

[Veteran250 in reply to wobblybee]

My condolences Bev for your loss, my wife and I had four bereavements in my wife’s family in the space of ten days back in Oct/Nov..... It is sad that family members feel the need to blame someone for not being there when a loved one dies. I hope you can all grieve together as a family eventually

With my thoughts and regards for you and your family at this sad time.

Don 😔🌹🌺

[gossy]

Sorry for you loss Bev

[pollybanana]

So sorry for your lossx

[HarryB Administrator]

Hi Bev

I am so sorry about your Pops. My Mum died earlier this year so I know from from recent experience some of what you are going through. The death of a loved one is always an emotionally charged time (with family members often bearing the brunt of others’ distress) but this time of year, which is stressful enough in itself, does not help. Although it won’t feel like it at the moment, things will get better. Time is a great healer.

I know it is hard but please try to look after yourself as best you can. I will hold you and your family in my thoughts and prayers.

Harriet

[Litty]

So sad to hear! I was very close to my Dad (He fought for us in court and brought up 3 girls - very hard and unusual back then). He had ataxia too and I was his carer.

Death brings out the worst in family though and both my sisters were horrid. You have to try and remember your good times you and your boys had with your Dad and block your sister out. Hopefully things will get better.

My husband's councillor once gave me a great bit of advice for dealing with my sister who got worse. ‘Do the minimum with her to let yourself be at peace’ - hopefully it will not come to this, but good tip.

Good luck x

[Hidden]

Thats good advice. All of those who have responded know what you are going through.

Use us as support. X

[neta]

Condolences. My husband and mother died this year. Its very sad to lose a loved one. Be well xxN

[ddmagee1]

You have my deepest condolences. It was difficult when my Dad died a couple years ago. Family emotions were all over the place and siblings got upset with each other etc. it’s just a really difficult time. After a couple years, though, things have come around, and family is talking to each other again. It takes a while. When you add in people not understanding a PD or Ataxia diagnosis, it just makes it worse.I have Diagnosed Ataxia and PD, and some family members can’t seem to understand why I can’t drive 6 hours to see my elderly Mom and siblings in another city. My doctor will allow me to drive minimally to the store snd Dr. appointments, but he doesn’t want me to drive long distance. Some in the family, think I’m being selfish and just can’t be bothered, which isn’t true at all. I’m in stage 3 PD, and have experienced some very difficult days. It’s amazing how none of my siblings have come to see me since I was diagnosed. They really don’t understand what it’s like to have incurable ailments like PD and Cerebellar Ataxia. So, yes, I really can relate. Try to focus within your immediate family for now, and maybe, the others will come around someday. Maybe that will help relieve some of the emotional hurt.

[bevvick1964]

Thanks to all of you. Xx