help I am scared of losing everything

hi everyone walked out of my job on Thursday due to a colleague being not very nice I told my boss a few times and he told me to ignore him but he started telling customers things about me like I was drunk in work but he new I had ataxia I became a joke I am 40 quite strong minded but even I had enough and walked now how on earth do I get another job things are really hard I am struggling a lot with my balance maybe it time to stop work maybe my body says enough but I have a mortgage how would I finance that my wife's wage just covers the bills and can you imagine me going to an interview bouncing off the walls that certainly would not go in my favour I also get really tiered but I am going to see an ataxia specialist on Tuesday do I tell him or what i am so scared of losing my home as I have worked so hard all my life to get my dream home but deep inside I know it could be taken away in a flash please please has anyone got any advice I live in hope thank you for reading my story

27 Replies

  • Hi ....My first thought is any chance you could have your old job back as it seems to me you have faced disability discrimination and have been put under a great deal of stress. The boss needs to sort out the person who has been bullying you and deal with them appropriately. X

  • hi floramac no the problem is there is just me the boss and the colleague they are best friends out of work as well as in work you are right it has put me under a lot of stress but they know all the customers because they are local i am not to the area its a case of me against the boss the colleague and the customers he knows which customers he can say these things to if i were to go down the discrimination root they would all play dumb plus i wont go back now not to that atmosphere its very clicky thank you very much for replying it means a lot x

  • Hi Tino😊

    You can ring ACAS (Advisory, Conciliation and Arbitration Service) 0300 123 1100

    9am-1pm Saturday 8am-8pm Monday-Friday

    It's free and impartial

    Alternately, see for an online helpline.


  • hi B THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR YOUR RESPONCE I will ring it first thing Monday thanks again x

  • Hi

    Please don't give in to this person. Seek legal advice. Either from a solicitor or Citizens advice Bureau. Think of your family and your home

  • thanks cymruralf I will take on board advice thanks for replying my friend

  • Morning tino. The citizens advice bureau is also a good place to start. However it may take time to get an appointment. And yr GP, perhaps a sick note to take to the Job Centre? The stress will not be helping - understatement, - !!!, I imagine? It is easy for us to say keep calm when everything looks so bleak but try and relax to charge yr batteries for what is ahead. And, if at all possible, I would definitely go down the route of Disability Discrimination.

    Sending my best wishes, keep calm and breath slowly. Keep in touch. 💜💙

  • thanks for replying Eileen like I said to cymruralf I wll get some advice and try to keep calm and simmer down but thank you for your advice means a lot x

  • If the boss and you colleague are best friends then you need to go above them but don't just let it go. The company must be seen to be doing something or I believe they are vicariously liable. THIS IS DISCRIMMINATION AND BULLYING OF THE HIGHEST ORDER. ACAS is a good place to start .

  • thanks for replying poolboy means a lot iwill seek advice and my boss owns the company but I will see cab and ACUS but thankyou for your advice many thanks to you all

  • If you have lost your job and are not secure financially then now is the time to speak to your mortgage provider and negotiate payment holiday or reduced rates so that you keep a roof over your head. Don't let it build up and miss several payments because then it may be too late.

    Definitely go down the bullying/discrimination route, if you've been in the job for a while you should get more in the way of compensation, constructive dismissal, whatever. whatever else you do get all the advice that you can -now, not in 6 months time.

    Depending on your experience you might find alternative employment that you can manage better, there are possibilities so leave no stone un-turned. I used to be an assistant accountant but there is no way I could hold down a job these days, but I have always loved Maths and I have been tutoring from home for the last 3 years. It keeps me sane and exercises what few brain cells I have left(!), I only have one student at the moment and do a skill swop with a music tutor to get a lesson for my son.

    Nobody deserves to be bullied at work it is horrid and so de-moralising, I know I have been there a couple of times, you are better off out of it but do need to make the next step (wobbly or not) and investigate your options.

    Hang on in there and all the very best.

  • thanks for replying shild I am going to seek some advice I am not financially secure it is a type of bullying and it is stressful but like you said I will check every option and try to be strong but either way thanks for your advice it means a lot thank you

  • Sounds like Bullying and Harassment. Take legal advice.

    Good luck. Stay strong.

  • thanks for replying dunfr I will thanks again

  • If your boss owns the company than that is worse for him. You have friends on this site who are rooting for you mate. Hope it goes well .

  • thanks poolboy I am starting to feel better already I will keep in touch to tell you and every one else what cab and acas say thanks again

  • Chin up my old mate. Would love to know how you get on.

  • Hi Tino,

    You are in a position which we all sympathise with and you have been given some excellent advice.

    The point I wish to make is this: is it really too late to go back to your boss- perhaps accompanied by an appropriate friend- to explain the situation and to remind your boss of your legal options and his responsibilities. If he is sensible and has some kindness, he may see your point of view and realise that the behaviour of his 'friend' is unacceptable and may have serious consequences for him, as an employer. I would not be surprised if the friendship cooled...

    Before you involve the big guns, it may be wise to involve a little last minute diplomacy.

    I really wish you all the best, feeling that, if you stay calm, all will not be lost.

  • hi margaretm thank you very much for replying and advice as well as everyone else it just shows each and every one of you are special and nice individual's

    but going back to what you said about going back to him with a friend or my wife he would maybe take me back because it could scare him a bit on the leagle side but if I were to go back I know what they would do they would not speak to me all day it will be a bad atmosphere they would talk and not speak to me I don't think I can go back to being sent to Coventry as they say thanks ever so much though for your reply I will keep strong and get through the storm into the calm seas hopefully godbless

  • I don't really have any further advice than that which has already been given, but certainly you need to seek further advice. This is Disability Discrimination and you might well have a claim for constructive dismissal at an Employment Tribunal - this site talks you through it;

    You should also make contact at an early stage with all financial companies advising them of your situation - contrary to popular belief, you should find them extremely sympathetic and willing to help - they are less willing when you have missed several payments and are in arrears!

    As many have said before, keep strong, keep positive and you will see it through. This condition is hard enough on it's own without other worries crowding in! And please, let us know how you get on!

  • thanks jay for replying I have been overwhelmed by the support of every one

    in ataxia healthcareunlocked I am going down every path and checking every door my wife is also on the case she is very supportive like I said to the others I will think positive and focused and strong now a lot better than a few days ago but I cant thank you enough for your advice thank you I will let you know aswell as every one else how I am getting on

  • Have you considered maybe applying for Equity Release? Just a thought.

  • hi springlove that maybe an option we will see all thoughts are taken

    into consideration now who knows what will happen thanks for the suggestion x

  • Hi Tino

    what's happening now with your job and everything?


  • hi nigel thanks for asking things are slowly looking up I decided I will not go through with disability discrimination and move on as it is too stressful my dad has helped us out financially and I get jsa they are quite good in the job center they are trying to sort something out that I can do with my disability

    and maybe go to collage to get some qualification's we will see after Christmas but I feel a lot better in my self now I wont let them get me down but may I just thank you and everyone else for your support it means an awful lot to me and my wife and all the best my friend have a great Christmas and new year and everyone else in ataxia uk

  • Hi Tino.

    I was in your situation in September 2013 I worked at a builders merchant. I had a fall at home which caused me to have a cut on my forehead. The day after I was asked not to come back to work pending consultants report. They tried to get me to take early retirement at 50. I enquired what was in it for me if I did and was told £1000 per year . I thought no I am going back in a wheelchair and they have to take me back. I am earning £4400 per year. I would ask your HR dept to talk about disability rights. Also have you got the Ataxia card about the condition, saying that it could cause actions as if you were drunk and show your colleague at work so he could be a bit more informed

    let me know how it goes

  • hi thanks for your reply I am glad I am not the only one then yes I have got a ataxia card but he knew what my symptoms were he just wanted to be a sort of a childish bully making me out to the customers I was drunk the boss knew that but they are friends so it was hard to prove I have moved on now and things are looking up a bit I wont be going back I will just move on and upwards my dad helped us out finically and I am getting sorted out with a job part time and starting a coarse in IT to get some qualification's hopefully but thank you very much for your reply my friend all the best for new year

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