Ataxia UK

Moan Rant or what?

Hello everyone

Thinking about the title I think this is a moan, sorry. It's just an experience I thought you may like to read.

Yesterday with my Husband, Carer and Alice the dog I visited a National trust property. On the way back we met an ex.neighbour of ours. She asked me loudly and in one word syllabels if I understood her. She then proceeded to talk over me all about me. It was as though I wasn't there!!!!!! Was I angry? My carer caught on and wheeled me away, she said not to bother about it. I am still cross about the whole incident, it rather explains why I don't want to see people from my past life!!!!

Having moaned about it I still don't feel better!!!!

Take care


12 Replies

Hi Fifa

Please don't take this the wrong way, but i am so glad this doesn't just happen to me.

I moved to blackpool 3 years ago but still visit the area i used to live every weekend, as that is where my older daughters live.

Last weekend my middle daughter was 21 and i went to join in the celebrations. A friend of mine was there and came over to chat, or so i thought! She started off by asking my daughter how i was and then it went downhill. My daughter said 'she's right in front of you, why ask me?' to which she replied 'yes but she's in a wheelchair now she won't understand me and i feel really sorry for her'.

My daughter politely replied that there was nothing wrong with my hearing or speech but it was completely ignored. I have known this person for over 20 years and i was gobsmacked! throughout the evening she kept her distance but kept pointing over while she was chatting with everyone else.

i was so embarrassed and was getting more annoyed. i left early as i couldn't face going out with them and being treated like that by everyone else.

at least i now know why she has removed me from facebook, ignored me in the street and passed up a free holiday.


nana23 xx


hi sugar,if people are not understanding then they have the problem or are they just ignorant or dont understand but dont worry ok good luck and keep smiling


Hi Fifa, I understand how much anger you are experiencing after this incident with your ex-neighbour. My eldest daughter's speech has deteriorated quite a lot but I know she still likes to try and communicate with people; so I never try and speak for her. I always take a step back and let whoever we meet speak directly to her. If they have difficulty in making out what she is saying, I then try and help if my daughter is happy with this. I used to get upset if people would talk over the top of her head to me or speak to her as if she was a baby in a pram but as modem1 says; "they have the problem and don't understand"

Keep your chin up and try not to let them spoil your day!

Kind regads



Hi Fifa!

No-one I know, including family, have shown any interest in my condition.

It's not surprising we encounter attitudes like this. IIn the past I've been out

with my daughter, having a foggy head day and wobbling around with my

walking stick, people would talk to her and basically ignore me. Probably

in my case because I looked a bit vacant.

A previous neighbour once visited me, chatted quite happily with my

daughter who just happened to be in and never contacted me again....?

I think people feel embarrassed because they don't know how to keep

a normal conversation going when faced with a disability, it makes them

feel awkward and ends up causing offence.



I wont go out ot see family because my speech and balance are becoming worse! I get very embarrassed about my disability so, that happening to me would send me over the edge, now i am definately becoming a recluse



I was offered a straw the other day.My daughter too stuck up for me.Sadly I think the problem is ignorance.Wheelchair is being delivered soon.Looking forward to more treatment of being treated as special needs.

It's very frustrating when a few years ago you were a professional and 6/7 years on you are like a baby.


Hi Fifa, first off, don't be sorry for having a moan or rant, it's a very rantable (new word) subject. People can be very ignorant at times without knowing it. I gave a really good job up when I first had to use a powerchair just because I couldn't stand the stares as I went through town and then I got stuck in the lift and the look of pity on a colleague's eyes reduced me to tears. It is frustrating but, as my Dad told me, you've got more courage and life in your little finger end than the rest of them all put together!

Take care x


Fortunately that hasn't happened to me to that extent, but that's probably because I tend to blank anyone who is remotely 'weird' around me. When I have to talk to people, I sometimes find that they will talk to whoever is with me, even if they are talking about me. They can also listen to me as if they're humouring me but not really taking me seriously, like you would with a toddler who's babbling. The most annoying thing is when a person smiles at the person I'm with when I've said something, as if say "ahh, look what she did!"

It's really superficial, but things like this hardly ever happen when I make more of an efort with my appearance. It's as if people think, "oh, she must be ok because she's got make-up on!" Messed up logic.

Yeah, a lot of it's down to ignorance, and you can tell by their embarrassment or change in behaviour when their errors are pointed out. But then some people are just horrible, and like the sense of superiority it gives them. At least you get to tell who's nice and who's not quite quickly!


You should have asked the ex.neighbour why she was speaking so weird and did her Doctor know of it.

That would have shocked her :-)


John-H you are naughty! B


Who Me? People should know beneath any disability is a "person" :-)


I really can't remember back when I was 'normal' now. It seems

like another lifetime ago. Now I'm not complaining, merely passing

an observation. To me now, it's the people who are able-bodied

who are different!B


You may also like...